patswife22

I found out after my husband passed if I had to remove his name for anything did that company need an original or a copy. Things you learn as you go along. For some they would take a copy. Even after 14 years later I found that I needed an original death certificate pertaining to a real estate situation and I didn't have one. So I had to request one before that situation could be taken care of. Luckily, we did have a will. Got it done 2 months before he passed. This is something people don't like to do for various reasons.

I believe a lot of non-widowed people look at widowed people with old fashioned ideals. We have lots of money after our spouses pass. We cry all the time. If we should go out to dinner with others do we just cry all the time? These are some of the ideas I got myself after my husband passed. At one point my daughter who was in her early 20s told me she did not want me to go through the rest of my life alone. So I took it upon myself and tried online dating. That's where I found out the people on those dating sites are scammers who thought I had lots of money. Definitely NOT true. At least in my case. When I would meet up with other wids my best friend asked me what did I do at the dinners I would go to. I looked forward to meeting up with strangers I met through the grief support group such as the ones on here. I had to tell her the same things she and I would do when we would get together; have a cocktail and/or dinner and have a good time. Now that she is recently widowed she now understands what I went through. So after 6+ years I finally met someone. We have been together 7 1/2 years. The first 3 years we talked in the morning before he went to work. He called me when he got home. He worked 12 hour days.........6 days a week. Doesn't leave much time to get a relationship off the ground. But we made the best of it. I would see him from midnight Friday to about 11AM Sunday morning during the winter months. During the spring/summer months he had every Saturday off and every other Friday. We jammed in as much as we could. Heck we even managed a couple of road trips. I was currently unemployed the first 2 years of our relationship. Luckily, for us our families are happy for us.....our kids....extended families....our friends. Right now we are both retired. He moved with me 3 1/2 years ago. We purchased our first home and I am currently preparing my home to put on the market. As for your mother..................yes she is over-reacting. You need to do what is right for you. You are well over the age of consent. But maybe your mother feels she will be left out. When possible after this crap show is over........plan a get together and have her come and get to know your new guy. Just never know.

DonnaP: I already know what their reply will be. My BIL already told my brother that he did not want to partake in dinner with me. My brother was out to coffee with our BIL and some other mutual friends. He asked the guys if they wanted to go out that night for dinner. When my BIL asked my brother who would be there my brother mentioned my name. My BIL said I don't want to be any where XXXX will be. So to forgive and forget? Not going to happen here. With these people they do not want to hear MY side of the story. Their mother have them all fooled that this whole thing is/was my fault. But of course, they do not know the whole thing and frankly they do NOT want to hear. I imagine I will never hear from them EVER again just like my In-Laws. So for me family is NOT everything to me. I am happy making new friends who are truly family to me. NOTE: my significant other's family have welcomed me with open arms. I call them family now.

While my brother was still in town my SO (significant other) and I arranged to go to go out to eat. He was out earlier in the day with some friends of his and our BIL. He asked them if they wanted to join us? My BIL asked who was going. My brother mentioned my SO and me. My BIL told him "I'm not going if XXXX is going to be there". Turned out it was just the 3 of us. How freaking cold. I hope I never run into him EVER. Him and his 2 kids. They ever want or need anything they can just keep moving past me. I mean they have all of those other family members and friends to help.

When I called my MIL to inform her I was putting my husband in hospice her first response was "why?" Seriously.....where have you been in the last 16 months? She then calls me back about an hour later and informs me that her and her oldest daughter were on their way to OUR home. They come to my house with the other daughter. By this time my husband is pretty much comatose. I had called the hospice to let them know what was going on and if they could come and explain to them about hospice. By this time I was so emotionally and physically drained. I called one of my sisters for reinforcements. The youngest SIL started making demands as to why visiting nurse was not utilized. My insurance did NOT pay for 24 hour care. Also my husband was in his final days of life. Less than 2 days he passed in our home...........literally hours after I/we paid off our home. Looking back no way would I have allowed them into my house. But as I said they were always saying this and saying that about the treatment he was getting. But his diagnosis was terminal. They were in denial. At the funeral NOT one of them would stand with me in the receiving line. My MIL sat on the other side of the room giving me scathing looks when a male person would give me a hug. They were either co-workers, friends and family. Like I was looking for a replacement already. After the service they walked out and still NOT one freaking word. The next day at the church they all show up 1/2 late for the service. We were just about to walk down the aisle when they came in. But when it came time for the luncheon afterwards guess who was the first to be there? All of this on MY dime. So my thought is...............my In-laws can all go F**K themselves. I have absolutely no relationship with them. Earlier this year my MIL passed away and I was NOT even mentioned in her obit as the surviving spouse of her only son. So...............

First a little bit of history. I will TRY to keep it short. I lost my husband February 2007. Devastating as you can imagine. Fast forward to 2010. Youngest sister moves in with me. She has health issues. One rule in my home........NO smoking in my home. However, for my sister no smoking AT my house. Within a couple of days of her moving in I had hip replacement surgery. When I got home I found evidence that she was smoking at my home. After repeated warnings I had to ask her to leave. See she was ON oxygen and smoking. Because of her actions while living in my home it seemed she was telling a couple of siblings that all I did was yell at her. NO SMOKING!!! Ah duh. When I was able to get around my home with a walker I would always mention to this sister that she had to keep her tubing out of my way as I could easily trip on it. She would send texts or emails that all I did was yell at her. In the 6 months she lived with me 2 of my sisters never stepped foot in my house to help me. Another sister of mine came over to take me to needed doctor appointments. So these 2 sisters had absolutely no idea what was going on other than what this inconsiderate sister told them. They never asked me. When the day came for this sister to move out words were exchanged between a niece of mine and I. I finally told them all to get the hell out of my house. Eventually this one sister passed 6 years later. She refused to take the advice from doctors and/or family members. This was in 2016. Of this one sister who helped move out our inconsiderate sister, she and her family totally ignored me and my SO at the funeral. They walked right past us and NOT one word. Even her best friend would NOT talk to us. However, when my sister and her family left her best friend then came up to me and talked to me. WOW!!!! Talk about control. This one sister who helped move out this one inconsiderate sister became ill 3 months ago with brain cancer. Just before Christmas I took my daughter in to see her aunt. My one niece came into the room and took one look at me and asked "what are you doing here?" I told her I just got here. She then proceeds to tell me not too long. Three days after Christmas my sister passes. After another sibling of mine tells me to check the obit online I couldn't believe what I saw. My brother, two of my older sisters and I were completely left out of the obit. Well not really it stated we were "other siblings". This sister wouldn't have met her husband without OUR brother. Her husband and our brother were friends....roommates and he was left out. The obit listed her in-laws and even friends.........but not all of her siblings. One of my sisters and I will attend the service but will stay far enough away. Had dinner with my brother yesterday and he said when he saw my sisters two "grieving" daughters they ran up to him in tears and told him how nice it was to see him. But they couldn't list him in the obit. I on the other hand have now considered my late sister's family................dead to me. I will no longer have anything to do with any of them. I found out that my sister, husband and the 2 daughters wrote the obit. This was told to me by my brother at dinner as told to him by our BIL.

I do not remember the date of my first bago. When I did go it was just this other woman and I. We met a restaurant and it was hard to carry a conversation with her. She seemed very shy and not too talkative. I walked out of that bago discouraged. Several weeks later I decided to attend another bago. I had absolutely no idea what to expect. All those people with just a screen name and now I could put a face and a name together. I walked out of that gathering with both my feet off the floor. I finally found people who were going through different stages of grief. They welcomed me with open arms. After that one visit I couldn't wait till the next one. They were mostly dinners as most of the people I met worked. The dinners were on Saturdays. The dinners were a 2 hour drive from my home. The organizer of the dinners gave me door to door directions. Some of my family and friends were concerned that I was driving 2 hours to meet complete strangers. My best friend asked me what we did at those dinners. She thought all we did was cry. I had to inform her that we did the same thing as she and I did; we would order a drink, talk, order dinner and go home. In some cases I would be out till 11PM having so much fun and not realizing what time it was. I then realized I still had that 2 hour drive home. But it was ALL worth it. This same friend of mine concerned for my safety gave me a GPS for my car for Christmas. It helped me to get to restaurants with an address. It has been quite some time since those dinners. I found that some of the people I met at those dinners now live closer to me. We have gotten together for lunches. From some of those dinners I became good friends with a lot of the widows/ers. One couple I met I attended their wedding. The following year I attended another wedding of another widow I met. Strangely, how non-widow people view us as a bunch of crying people as that is how the media used to portray us. But we are really like anybody else. Only thing that is different from other folks is that we lost a part of ourselves.......a spouse. Or a partner.

My dating profile also had my widowed status listed. As for my in-laws? After my husband passed I didn't have much of a relationship with them so whatever they thought, I could careless. In fact they were not the nicest people. About 6 years after my husband passed I met a great guy. He's also widowed. We've been together 6 years now. My 2 sisters-in-law met him last year. They knew I was with someone as my daughter had told them. The older one was cordial but the one I always had problems with was a real BIT**. Wouldn't even acknowledge me much less him. Our families and friends are happy for us. We plan on selling our places, buying our own place and move out of state to a warmer climate. We live in the midwest. We're both happy and isn't that what counts?

StillHereWI, never feel like you don't belong. I was widowed at age 51. I found this one site........young widows bulletin board. It has since been disbanded and strangely this one kind of took it's place. Anyway, I chatted with a lot of people younger than me, my age and some older than me. We were all there because of ONE thing. We all lost someone. My husband has been gone 12 years. I've endured a lot since he was gone. Way too many too mention. So keep coming back. By the way, where in Wisconsin are you? I am near the Milwaukee area.

I knew this is quite early but thought I would throw this out there. Some veteran wids are planning a dinner bago from the SE WI/Northern IL area. Of course, anyone is encouraged to attend. The date is Saturday October 20th. Venue has not been decided as yet as we want to see if we can get a group together. If you have never attended a bago, don't hesitate to come. I was at that stage and I can tell you it was worth it. Met some fabulous people.

When I read stories of online dating I look back at what I went through. The first guy I communicated with was very complimenting. To make a long story short he turned out to be a scammer. The picture on the dating site was NOT him. How did I find this out? Education and finally paying attention to his chats and the others that came along. The next few were the same. Talk about trust. So I left the dating sites as I was getting quite upset with the prospects I seemed to be attracting. Apparently the word widow means lots of money. This one does not have any so as soon as the chats started in that direction I ran the other way. When I came back for another try I changed my perimeters to closer to home. I chatted with a few and actually met up with another widower. Yes it was a public place. Anyway, at one point I was chatting with 2 guys. This one guy started acting strange when I asked to meet. Apparently he thought I was interested in his money. Funny I don't remember that subject coming up in any of our chats. So I told him we were done. I struck up the conversations with the other guy. After a month and a half of "chatting" he asked to meet. I thought we would just chat. After many invites to meet I finally accepted. I picked a coffee shop 50 miles from my home. I figured it would be far enough away and a place I may never venture to again if it didn't work out. That 3 hour coffee date turned out to be a later date to a baseball game. There I met his daughter and her boyfriend, his granddaughter and grandson, other friends and even his ex-wife. This was 2013 and I am happy to say we are still together almost 5 years later. We have met each other's kids, friends, siblings and everybody gets along great. Now for the clincher. This man treats me better than my husband did. In the 5 years since we've been together we've done more traveling than in the 27 years I was with my late husband. I am once again happy and I know it can all come to a screeching halt as we all know. But each month on the anniversary that we met we say "Happy Anniversary" to each other. I couldn't be happier. As for life long plans? He moved in with me 2 years ago. We plan on selling both of our places and travel. No plans for remarrying as it has financial problems if we did. One other thing. He's widowed too so he gets it.

Thank you all. These types of writings I remember helped me back in the day. These almost 5 years have gone by so fast. Those dark days seem to be dragging me down. But the old saying "time flies when you're having fun". When I tell people we've been together this long they can't believe it. These are the same people, family and friends alike who have been by my side for the last 10-12 years.

Sudnlysngl, I am so sorry to hear about your divorce. Wheelerswife and sudnlysngl, I remember you too. Seeing these names here bring back so many memories of others who were going through the same as me and helped me through the worse part of my life. I am "retired" now; quit my job of 3 years in February of this year. My boss who is married to a high school classmate of mine was getting to be a real @$$hole. My sister who lived with me passed away 2 years ago. Seems she didn't do so well after she moved out. Now recently connected with a bunch of cousins on my father's side. So things do seem to be going into a much better direction................finally.

Sojourner, he does have brothers but they are unavailable. Thank you for your kind words. Considering everything I've endured since the day we found out about my husband's (eventual) terminal cancer diagnosis meeting this man has been the happiest I've been. I am constantly amazed as to where this relationship goes.

I've been widowed just over 11 years. We were together 27 years.....married 22. After 6 years of widowhood I was tired of being lonely. I tried online dating for several months. The first few "guys" turned out to be scammers. To make a long story short I finally met a guy. We started chatting. Thought that was as far it would go. He finally asked to meet. We met at a coffee shop 50 miles from my home. I thought if it didn't work out I would probably never venture to that place again where I would run into him. That 3 hour coffee date turned into a full fledged relationship. We've been together almost 5 years. He's widowed so he gets it. The reason for my writing today. I thought I would NEVER meet someone I would ever care for after my husband's passing. But this man treats me better than my husband did. I always dreamed of a relationship like this. Boy did I win the lottery. Yesterday out of the blue he planned another trip for us. This one not too far............2 hours away from home. For those of you are hesitant to start dating again. I thought the same. But I am so glad he was patient with me and I accepted that first date. I couldn't be happier.

Arneal: I had absolutely no idea the 2nd time around I would be where I am today. If someone had told me at this time 10 years ago I would be where I am now, I would have thought they were nuts. We never know where our lives will take us to. My mantra since my husband passed is go with the flow. I can't think of what might happen in a week, a month or even a year. I still live my life one day at a time. In those early days of widowhood my thoughts were all over the place. How will I live......money-wise and how will I live....period. I also came to the conclusion that I count first. Before my child. My other family members. My friends. Even my boyfriend. I love them all but still. I've been taken advantaged by family and friends and it broke my heart they would do this to me. But I've moved on and they are no longer a part of my life. After so many times forgiving and again being taken advantaged of I had to come to the conclusion "enough's enough. As I go into my 11th year of widowhood I don't know where it will take me. I love the adventure of where my life will take me. I always loved a good adventure. Wish everybody thought this way.

I've been widowed almost 11 years. February 15, 2018 to be exact. Six years into widowhood I was tired of the loneliness and decided on online dating. None of my family or friends had anyone they could introduce me to. So unbeknownst to them I took it upon myself. After chatting with scammer and other creeps I finally accepted an invitation to coffee. I suggested a place closer to his home in the event it didn't turn out and I found that I would probably not venture to that spot in the future. Needless to say the 3 hour coffee date turned into a date at the ballpark that evening. There I met his adult daughter and her boyfriend, his granddaughter and grandson, and even his ex-wife; mother of his children. Yes he's been married before. The following weekend he met my best friend (who introduced me to my DH). Later that night he met my daughter. They hit it off from the get go. She was very close to her dad so needless to say I was hesitant that she would not like the idea of me dating again. But she has told me over and over again she is happy for me. I can't believe how different this man is vs my DH. Yes I've heard we shouldn't do this. But that is easier said than done. He does things for me that my DH never considered doing for me. Even the simplest things without me even saying anything. Just today as I was doing laundry he went out to shovel the sidewalk as I had mentioned I would be going out tomorrow to get gas in my car to go to work on Wednesday. BTW I've been sick with a horrible cold that I can't seem to shake. In September of 2016 I had to have hip replacement surgery. He was my caregiver for everything. I told him he did not sign up for this. His answer to me? We'll get through this. He had told me something similar when not even a year in our relationship that I didn't deserve someone like him. His answer to me? I'm not going anywhere. He has proven his love and care to me more times than I can count. Makes me love him even more. He's widowed too so he gets it. Yes his late wife passed away from breast cancer 13 months before we met. Yes he was very much in love with her. I know that as he told me before we even met. It makes a difference dating a widowed person. We both have visited each other spouse's final resting place. As for marriage plans. At this point I don't believe marriage is in the works. We both are OK with that. To make a long story short. About a year ago he moved in with me. We plan on selling our places, buy an RV and travel. When I first told him this he was all for it. Later this month will be our 4 1/2 year anniversary since we met. We celebrate each month by announcing to each other "Happy Anniversary".

With our cold weather lately, nothing is in the works. Hopefully February might be a time something can be planned. Maybe in the Kenosha area so we are able to get our northern IL widda friends to join us? If not we may have to move into March. Let me know so we can get something in the works.

First time around I had a church wedding; interdenominational. My mother had passed away 8 months before I got married. After 22+ years of marriage my husband passed from inoperable lung cancer. Six years after his passing I met a great guy. He was married three times. His first two marriages ended in divorce. His third marriage ended when his wife passed from breast cancer. He thought he finally found somebody to go through life with. We've been together over 4 years. In July of 2016 he moved in. Luckily, for me my daughter is so happy that I found someone. I have siblings who really like him. My friends are so happy for me. As for marriage. We have talked about it but it would be financial suicide for us. Especially for me. We plan on spending the rest of our lives together. I have no problem with others who find their Chapter 2 and remarry. For me.............maybe sometime down the line. Just not now.

As my daughter was over 18 I was not able to get benefits for her. So at that time I could only receive the $255. Which to me is a joke. I was widowed at age 51. My husband had life insurance but because I could NOT find a job (so many thousands and thousands of people lost their jobs too; the recession), the insurance $$$$ went fast. Thank God my house was paid off. A widow friend of mine told me I could collect widow benefits at age 60. However, I could NOT be remarried before that time. That 8+ years was pure hell for me. A year and a half after he passed I was in a near fatal car accident with a drunk driver. A month later I lost my job with bennies. Since then I've had to purchase my own health insurance including COBRA. No choice at that time. I applied for widow benefits one month before my 60th birthday. Got an appointment in a few days. I was given all my options; collect on my own or my husbands. NOT both. Because my late husband made more I am collecting on his. I was also told I could work and make up to almost $16K before the SS would be deducted. Luckily, I found a part-time job that pays pretty good (at least helps with the bills) over 2 years ago. However, I still have to pay for my own health insurance. Helps to work for an insurance agent. In the last few years I've learned how I can live without things I had when my husband was still alive. Amazingly, I found that I don't miss those things that I thought I really needed. Now I am looking at retiring, selling my home, buying a truck so pull the RV behind. I'm sure if my husband was here he would have said NO WAY!!!!!!

We had our first widda lunch in quite sometime last Saturday. There were 6 of us. It was all ladies and we know there are some guys out there too. We had a great time. Food was great. Company even greater. We are planning our next one possibly in the Kenosha area. So if any of you are interested let me know. I would be happy to put the details out. Guys will be able to attend. One of us does have a spouse who is widowed and one of us has a BF that is widowed. So if you know anyone who may want to come, by all means the more the merrier.

My late husband bought our house 2 years before we met Strangely we never thought of changing anything after we married. So here we are married 22 years and still the house was only in his name. Somehow I talked him into getting the house in my name too 2 months before he passed. I live in a community property state and needless to say I found out AFTER he passed that in some situations it does not mean anything. We kept our checking accounts separate in the event of death. However, after he passed I went to close out his checking account and was told at the bank that I have to be a beneficiary NOT a co-signer on his accounts. I told the manager I was his wife. I even had a certified death certificate. Didn't make any difference. Anyway, afterwards I went to my bank and had all of my accounts listed with my daughter's name. In the event of my passing she could come in with a certified death certificate and her driver's license and close out the accounts. For the situation with my husband's bank I had problems with this bank at one time and pulled my accounts out of there because of the problems I had with them. Anyway, after 10 years of living in this house with the memories - both good and bad I've decided I no longer wish to live here. But something is holding me here. I have since met a great man after 6+ years of widowhood. He has since moved in with me. He retired and he is waiting for me to retire. We want to sell our places, buy a truck and tow an RV and see the glorious country we live in. BTW I got lucky the 2nd time around. The new guy of 4 years is widowed and gets it. I now educate my non-widowed friends of the problems I've endured. I am hoping they adhere to my advice. Married or not.

A friend of mine would receive solicitations from this one charity. He called and even sent an email but still they would send him request for donations. When he told me about this I took it upon myself to call them directly and told them "my father has received these solicitations and it has to stop. I told them his wife has passed away and that it is very unnerving to him to get these. I also mentioned to the person I talked to that if my father receives anymore such solicitations the next time I call, the receiver of my call will not be happy as I will no longer be NICE. Needless to say he has NOT receive anymore. Sometimes you have to rude because that's the only way they understand.

We all deal with our grief differently. Doesn't make any difference how far out we are. However, how we ourselves travel it can be different. I will admit about 4 years ago when I started my journal I was angry and it seemed like I was tired of going through this dark period of my life. My life changed when my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I look back and think I dealt with it the best I could. I thought a miracle would end this nightmare. But it didn't. My husband died. Since his passing I was in a near fatal car accident with a drunk. No broken bones but alot of bruising. Almost one month to the day of that accident I was terminated from my job. Considering a month after his passing I received a glowing review and a huge raise. When I was terminated my boss who was so understanding of my situation had left the company. Her replacement was a woman who had absolutely not one care in the world about my situation. So not only did I lose my husband now I was on my own to look for another job along with hundreds of thousands of others. I felt like I was in a rut. Only I could get me to the point that I had to do what I needed to do. I didn't care what others thought I should do with my life. They didn't know what I was dealing with. How could they? Their spouses were still alive. Eventually, my life turned around. In fact it did a 360 degree turn. I met a great guy who also happens to be widowed. He put that smile back on my face that was missing for quite sometime. I finally found a job to help pay the bills. I realized I and only I can make my life to what I want it to be. I had a daughter who lost her father and I had to be around for her. I made sure that she did not know about my depression and my grief. So here I am 9 1/2 years into this journey of Hell on Earth and right where I need to be. I looked around and now I am thinking more clearly. I met some great widows who helped me immensely in my darkest period of my life. Don't wait for others to guide you. Only you know. Do it at YOUR own pace but I also found that I needed to get out the rut I was in. The fog has finally lifted and I can now walk through life with my head held high and I know what I had I cannot get back. But as I move forward I now walk with my eyes wide open and go with the flow. I don't think what could happen but what will.

Shelley, I could understand that putting your children first and foremost is key in starting up a new relationship. For me if something didn't go the way I wanted, it was like a blessing in disguise. I do believe there is someone out there for everyone. If you are patient, keep your eyes and your ears open you never know. Of course, listen with your heart and your gut helps too. I have a motto "for every negative aspect in our life comes a positive solution." Read on for what I mean. After 6+ years of widowhood I decided to try dating again. I tried online dating. What an educational experience that was. Putting that word out there, widow conjured up all kinds of people crawling out. Turned out to be mostly scammers. Had no idea. However, none of my family members or friends had anyone that I could meet. Might have been I was with my husband 27 years, 22 of them married more than half my life when he passed. Or that maybe they couldn't or didn't want me to be with anyone again. I set up a date with one guy. As soon as he stepped out of his vehicle I knew right off it wouldn't work. He lit up a cigarette which for me was a deal breaker. My husband had died from lung cancer. Yes he did smoke. After a couple of other one time dates I felt like there was no one out there for me. Finally I started to chat with this one guy who lived closer to my home. We exchanged cell numbers and talked. But then I could only reach him via the dating site's IM. When I started to ask when we were going to meet he got evasive. He thought I was interested in his money. Where he got that idea I will never know. But at the same time we were conversing this other guy "winked" at me. When the other guy seemed to be a lost cause, I told him he wouldn't have to worry about me hanging around anymore. So I struck up the conversations with the guy who "winked" at me. After a month he asked me when we were going to meet. I was very hesitant as I had no idea we would even meet. I suggested this coffee shop closer to his home. I figured if it didn't work out I would not worry about running into him again. Our 3 hour coffee date turned into a date later that evening. He invited me to a baseball game. There I met his daughter and her boyfriend, his granddaughter and grandson and even his ex-wife. After the ballgame we went back to this bar where he asked me out the following weekend. I asked my best friend and her husband to join us. They all hit it off. Later that night we went to the restaurant for dessert where my daughter worked at. The new guy and my daughter hit off. He has met all of my siblings and they all have told me I got lucky. Because I was hesitant to originally meet him, I was still trying to meet up with the previous guy, he told me he would be patient. I look back now and think he must have known something I didn't. In August it has been 3 years since we met. Our relationship for almost 3 years was mostly weekends during the winter months. His job was 6 days a week. From mid January to mid November his schedule was every Saturday off and then every other Friday AND Saturday off. Now this past May he retired. The end of July he moved in with me. It is a major adjustment as my my husband passed away 9 1/2 years ago. My daughter moved out less than 2 years after her dad passed, so I was an empty nester. Now to have a new "roommate" is so strange now. But luckily, we have so much going for us. We both love each other. Our families and friends are happy for us. One other thing his last wife passed away from breast cancer over a year before we met. So talking about our spouses is not difficult. If I had to start a new relationship it maybe hard if my partner was not widowed. If he wasn't he would have to accept that I will always love and miss my husband. But for us now we both know what we had and what we have now.