Jump to content

Julester3

Members

0

Followers

675

Content Count

Country

Genre

Zodiac

About Julester3

Just a woman trying to raise her 2 daughters and help them retain the good memories of their father. 

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    04/04/2016
  • Name of Spouse
    Josh
  • Date Widowed
    April 7, 2016
  • Cause of death
    Heart attack
  • Spouse's Age
    40


Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Enable
  1. We are okay up to Thanksgiving. Christmas is a different kettle of fish. Last year spending my first New Years Eve with NG was very different than how I usually chose to celebrate it. It was anticlimactic and underwhelming. It made me sadder than usual - not the usual hopeful feeling I get with a New Year. I chose to stay over at my in-laws over New Years this year to avoid revisiting that less than stellar feeling. We as a couple can’t do much over the holidays since his kids ping pong back and forth between households the entire break. Again, we’re just 2 threads that come together once awhile but are still 2 completely separate threads, never actually intertwined or woven together. He’s hinted he wants more but it’s never a conversation we actually have. To proceed to more, it would involve lawyers and court over some things they had put in place when they got divorced and mutually agreed to. I just speak in general terms that someday it could be possible. I can’t do more than that. Ironically he’s the limiting factor, not me the widow with my emotional challenges?
  2. Julester3

    3 things I did today

    I got Thanksgiving grocery shopping done. I took a shower today. I made it to work! Lol!
  3. Julester3

    Marriage after widowhood

    Relationships are hard. Add in that you have a teen who’s about to make that leap into adulthood and independence but is stalled and has backpedaled? I have one of those and it completely sucks! The attitude, the 360 change of heart and opinion. I can’t abandon my kid but gosh sometimes I just want to get out of Dodge. You were brave getting remarried and I still am proud that you took that challenge. You juggled hard and quite well but it’s a matter of time when you can’t juggle anymore than you already are. I hope this is just a setback, that you need some space and time, and that you can get back on track. One day at a time! I’m rooting for you!
  4. Julester3

    Missing my sidekick

    That kind of loneliness sticks to us. I sort of don’t like Facebook anymore because I see everyone else going on with their lives and I constantly feel like I’m running in slow motion or if I’m in my own bubble. I’m 3 years 8 months out and I feel that was often though generally my outlook is better and the pain has softened for me. I totally understand. Hugs!
  5. NG doesn’t like gifts either. His birthday is in December. So I usually spoil him with home cooked treats and things he likes that I make. For my birthday he bought me earrings. Last year he made me a hat for Christmas. I got flowers for my birthday. So he’s a low key kind of guy.
  6. Julester3

    widowed 3rd may 2019

    What you feel is real and it's normal. Her birthday is a milestone year and you should do what you feel comfortable with. Just take it a day at a time and don't sweat the small things. A sandwich is fine. I ate a lot of peanut butter on toast and drank coffee in the beginning. As long as you have something in the kitchen, it will be okay. Take one challenge at a time. Hugs and hang in there.
  7. We are doing well. We went to a theatre type show a few weeks ago and a close friend of his who was in the show commented that we’ve been together for quite some time. NG said something like we’re very committed. I’m curious where we can go next but I’m also comfortable where we are. I liken our relationship as 2 parallel lines that intersect and then separates multiple times. Our lines are not intertwined. I took him to meet my FIL and his wife. I believe it went well. He was quite nervous. The girls were not getting along so my 16 yo asked to drive us home so that meant NG had to sit in the back. He was doing a sing along with my older daughter all the way home. Lol. We went to our grief group last week and we met a recoupled widow and widower. She’s 2 1/2 years out and he’s less than a year out. They met on FB and she moved to Chicago from Georgia. They are looking for a good fit group for their family. They talked much about the hardships of combining households. My daughter said her teenaged son is angry about the move from their breakout session. The younger some seems okay with it. It was interesting to observe since I haven’t met anyone recoupled in person.
  8. Yeah I’m sentimental too. I’d probably take a photo and make an artful framed diorama commemorating it. It’s easier to carry a framed photo of it than actually keeping it.
  9. Julester3

    12yearsBirthday/Suicide/Sports

    Hugs! You have a full load and the exhaustion creates that opportunity for that void to hijack you.
  10. Julester3

    I got my son to 16!

    It’s not too bad. My daughter just turned 16 and she often asks me if we can practice. Here, we need 50 hours of practice and you have to have your permit for at least 9 months before you can get your license. I had her drive me to scrapbook stores farther away for practice. My recommendation is to be sure both of you are well rested and having a good day. It helps patience for you and nerves for your teen. Good luck!
  11. Julester3

    MIL goes off

    Some mothers cannot let go. I can’t even talk to MIL without getting attacked in that special, nice passive aggressive way on my shortcomings. I no longer talk to her or call her. If something needs to be said, it will be an email. IMO, the more these types of moms have time to think on it, the more they come up with a theory of what ifs and what could have been and need to justify the failure of the situation (losing their son). Hope this doesn’t continue for you.
  12. Hugs Alma. Thank you for sharing your story.
  13. Grief ebbs and flows. I am at 3.5 years out and that is what I have learned mainly. I let the crying come because to bottle it up just makes it harder to bounce back. Hugs! Beautiful quilt!
  14. That is a beautiful tattoo. Thank you for sharing. I got one too but not as big to remind me of my husband. It helped me stay focused in the now and realize that his passing was indeed real and not imagined.

About Julester3

Just a woman trying to raise her 2 daughters and help them retain the good memories of their father. 

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    04/04/2016
  • Name of Spouse
    Josh
  • Date Widowed
    April 7, 2016
  • Cause of death
    Heart attack
  • Spouse's Age
    40


The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Enable
×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.