Jump to content

Julester3

Members

0

Followers

730

Content Count

Country

Genre

Zodiac

About Julester3

Just a woman trying to raise her 2 daughters and help them retain the good memories of their father. 

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    04/07/2016
  • Name of Spouse
    Josh
  • Date Widowed
    April 7, 2016
  • Cause of death
    Heart attack
  • Spouse's Age
    40


Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Enable
  1. I was having a hard time getting on to the website. I kept getting a message about the website having compromised security and was unstable so my laptop and iPhone couldn't log in. I am surprised I was able to get in today! I miss coming in and checking in regularly. I'm not actively grieving but I get teary sometimes when a memory hits me. I hope you all had a good Christmas and are doing okay. I'm simply tired. This pandemic is exhausting. I am hoping 2021 will improve. I had a talk with NG and he knows he wants a future with me but needs to figure things with the ex and his kids. I see him once a week. We have cross mingled our households during the pandemic. NG and ex have shared custody so the kids move back and forth constantly so they live like 10 minutes from one another. She got a job promotion about an hour away west from where they live. I live a 35 minute drive east of them. I work 40 minutes closer to the Wisconsin border. I'm staying put where I am and I remain constant. I'm not ready to move. I love my house. My daughters are still in high school and trade school here. Maintaining status quo here, I guess. Have a peaceful New Year!
  2. Julester3

    Say Their Name

    His name was Josh to all who knew him...Josh-you-wa when he was trouble with me...afffectionately Yoshi to me..daddy to my girls. My thing is the empty feeling I feel when I hear the name used but knowing it's not my Josh.
  3. Julester3

    3 things I did today

    1. Got daily exercise in 2. Left the house to get pet food - apparently Amazon is delayed so I would rather have an emergency stash than hope it arrives in time 3. Picked up an abandoned craft project to work on I have a few days off before I have to go back to work. Christmas was brief in order to keep it safe so I was okay with it. New Year's will low key.
  4. Julester3

    Whom do I love?

    It could be that you need to process this with a counselor. It sounds like you're having a reaction because now that you are seeing someone, it's sort of coming out. Good luck!
  5. Julester3

    My Dad died

    So sorry to hear this. No advice on the will. It doesn't seem unreasonable to ask.
  6. Now that we are in between holidays, after Christmas, before New Year's, I hope all are doing okay.
  7. Julester3

    Thank you.

    Good to hear from you LF! I'm happy you are doing well.
  8. Julester3

    Old pictures of my LH are now new

    I left photos of LH out for my girls but I did move them to just the living room and the upstairs hallway. I removed photos of him from the family room and my bedroom since I'm in a committed relationship.
  9. I'm late to the post but I feel she's overreacting.
  10. Julester3

    Still crying constantly and so lonely

    Hmmm. Night time. I struggled with that. I used distraction to tire me out so I could sleep. I would read something, crochet, or watch a little TV to tire my mind so I could sleep. I had to change my bed to make it mine alone. I bought a new frame and fresh sheets and it helped. Good luck. A lot of the time it's trial and error. I hope you are doing okay.
  11. Julester3

    Belief and Grief

    I was raised Catholic and still consider myself as Catholic however I haven't gone to church since before my husband died. I have been for a wedding or two, a baptism, and some funerals but not for regular worship. At first, I was angry and upset while processing what did we do wrong? We followed my faith for the kids, still honoring my husband's Jewish traditions. We helped others, volunteered, and did things for our community. I had a hard time feeling like I was being punished. Now that it's been over 4 years ago, I'm not angry as I was in the beginning. Disappointed? Definitely. However, I feel things happen for a reason and I've come to terms with it, moving along as I do. Do I believe in afterlife? I'm not sure.
  12. Julester3

    What am I missing here?

    It’s hard to say exactly. I think it is a combination of things. A good portion I believe is the COVID situation. You are over 5 hours away and you see them only occasionally so you essentially are the unknown factor that could be introduced into their sphere. That can be off putting since people don’t know how to socialize with this pandemic. Some people will not take the chance at someone not in their household staying with them and having to take extra measures when this pandemic is exhausting enough. Another part is we who are widowed often do get left behind from friends and sometimes even family who are still coupled. Their lives got to progress while ours took a massive detour. Sometimes they don’t want the sad reminder and other times we are simply pushed back and are not as important to them anymore. Sad but true. I am sorry the experience has been disappointing but we can’t fix other people’s natures nor should you have to tolerate it. Shrug it off. Don’t let it get to you. Make it a small trip of your own. Do what makes you happy and don’t let their negativity weigh on you. In the end, they have to live with their decision and how they chose to respond to you.
  13. I am being much more reflective and responsive to our needs. Usually I’m like we just need to suck it up but I’m being more mindful to my needs and what my girls need. Not having the freedom to do and go where where you want and being constantly vigilant when you are out in any way is tiring. Honestly, some times the kids just want to drive with me to put gas or get curbside just to get out of the house for a brief moment. Walking around the neighborhood is crazy because every one is out all the time so trying to safely distance is tough so we are wearing masks the entire time we are outside it seems. The summer has been hot too! The dog is actually tired of so many walks! Lol! Good news is we are healthy otherwise and we hope to keep it that way. The school year started this week and it’s virtual learning. So more stuck at home it seems.
  14. Since June, we’ve sort of broke sheltering in place from one another and introduced one another to each environment to form like a “familiar reoccurring cluster.” It's working well and it helps we don’t go out unless needed and NG works from home. I go to work and go home, occasionally getting gas, curbside takeout, and groceries but I spread the trips as far as we can tolerate. He’s the same though he got a haircut out of desperation. We’re still suffering with our overgrown hair but we’re all girls so ponytails all the time. The cohabiting logistics came up again but all he say is he needs to wait 7 years for his youngest to graduate from high school. My youngest is already a junior. I can only shrug. He has to really want the cohabiting and be prepared to make compromises with me. So stalemate continues but I have my own house so I’m not in a rush nor am I going to waste energy on nothing. This pandemic is exhausting enough! I’m all about conserving personal energy.
  15. Julester3

    My Little Rant.....

    I feel for you! That’s how it was for me when I started and it’s disheartening to have simple motivation to keep going when you start collecting crazy and unbelievable stories. It made feel like am I being unreasonable for having some set expectations? It made me wonder often if it was worth it. Finding the right person does make it worth it. But dang, if the journey is no freaking fun, it’s hard to see any sort of finish line!

About Julester3

Just a woman trying to raise her 2 daughters and help them retain the good memories of their father. 

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    04/07/2016
  • Name of Spouse
    Josh
  • Date Widowed
    April 7, 2016
  • Cause of death
    Heart attack
  • Spouse's Age
    40


The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Enable
×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.