Jump to content

Julester3

Members

0

Followers

688

Content Count

Country

Genre

Zodiac

About Julester3

Just a woman trying to raise her 2 daughters and help them retain the good memories of their father. 

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    04/04/2016
  • Name of Spouse
    Josh
  • Date Widowed
    April 7, 2016
  • Cause of death
    Heart attack
  • Spouse's Age
    40


Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Enable
  1. Julester3

    A widow for 12 day now

    I am so sorry you are joining us here. Everything is going to be still so fresh for you being only 12 days out. You haven’t processed and everything is surreal and nothing seems right. Your world has been tipped over and it’s hard to put things back in place. It’s all part of the grieving thing but it moves in different ways and different times for everyone. Just take it a day at a time, an hour at a time, a minute at a time as you need. Take the help for things you can’t focus on. I asked for meals so the kids could have something to eat and I didn’t have to make it. It helped. I had another mom help with school pick up and drop off. I asked another mom to please walk my dog. People will gladly help if you ask and it’ll help ease the burden for awhile in the short term while you process and navigate this forced new life you have to live. People don’t want to intrude and I know I liked my own space so I picked what I needed help with. Drink water and and take care of yourself, if not for you, for the sake of your kids. They need strength and support too. They can see you cry because it’s natural after what you experienced but they need a parent to guide them and they can help be your source for inner strength. Don’t discount that. I’m almost 4 years out. My husband died at 40 and I have 2 girls. You are not alone. So many of us and I hate how we’ve had to have this shared experience of losing a loved one. Read here if it helps, vent if you need, and know we will read and will hear you. Hugs for you today!
  2. Julester3

    Thanks to my fellow wids

    That is very true! Have a good weekend!
  3. Julester3

    Other Single Moms

    I believe it is hard to connect to divorced and unmarried moms. Usually if conversation is centered around kids, it’s fine but it’s hard to personally relate to them because our life situations are different. They have baby daddies that exist in this world regardless if they are involved in their kids’ lives or not. Our children no longer have that because their dads are no longer here. They can still collect support and get help from them now or down the line. We cannot in any way shape or form. I have gone to outings and the divorced moms are like, “you are so lucky you don’t have an ex to deal with.” Huh? I would rather my kids have a dad who is alive, honestly. So I do not think it’s just you!
  4. Julester3

    3 things I did today

    1. I got to work today. 2. I had coffee. 3. My work load isn’t bad for a Monday!
  5. Julester3

    "Dear Evan Hansen"

    Thanks for the review. My second kid asked for me to look at tickets as it’s coming back in our area. I haven’t really looked it up for info but I really appreciate your input.
  6. Julester3

    Dating

    I’m glad you are finding some happiness.
  7. Julester3

    7 years today

    I know how you feel. I’m just a step behind you and I have been experiencing a lot that you’ve mentioned with my 2 girls who were 16 and 12 when LH passed and are now 20 and 16. I’m in a relationship but I’m comfortable. I don’t know where to go with it exactly but neither do I want to hang out infinitely. It’s fine for now. I’m okay with that and it allows me to focus on my girls. Hugs to you today!
  8. Julester3

    Celebrating his birthday

    We always stop by the cemetery and place flowers. We thengo to one of his favorite restaurants, we watch some of his favorite movies, we get ice cream because he loved ice cream, and if his birthday falls on a weekend, I invite his friends over and we have a game night in his honor.
  9. Julester3

    Omitted from sister's obit

    What the freaking heck? That’s just rude especially to your brother who introduced them. You can’t hang out with toxic self centered people like that even if they happen to be related to you. You were more than outstanding to still plan to attend. I’m not sure I could after all that past drama. You just don’t do that to family. So sorry you had to deal with this!
  10. Julester3

    widowed 3rd may 2019

    I remember leaving the year my husband died and entering that new year begrudgingly on my own. I chose not to go out or celebrate with anyone but my kids. We had s movie marathon and I made some of our favorite foods. I had to sit there to figure out where did we go from there and I decided to focus on my short term goals with the kids and decide what we could do to make us a stronger family unit. I didn’t focus on my loneliness. I wasn’t ready to confront it or my needs. I focused on taking care of myself and being able to provide for my kids and it was enough at that time. It is hard to plan long term. I still struggle with it and I’ll be 4 years widowed this spring. Peace to you!
  11. Julester3

    Engaged

    Congrats!
  12. Julester3

    Happy holidays

    Happy holidays to my fellow wids! As we get closer to the holidays, we have triggers, tough emotions, and bittersweet but loving memories. I know we all try to do what is best for ourselves and our families but if you ever feel desolate or sad, know that a fellow wid is out there thinking of you and our challenges and hoping this coming year will bring us some strength and peace. Hugs and happy holidays!
  13. Julester3

    Just overwhelming

    This is our 4th holiday since losing my husband and I totally get it. I have a teen and a young adult and neither drives so I’m always all over the place. I freaking color code my daytimer to try to keep juggling but I always manage to drop at least 1 ball. We can’t keep that juggling up infinitely. Talk to the organizer. I am sure they can make an exception. Hugs and breathe! We are only human and we can only do so much! All we can do is own up and then understand we can juggle with the best to them but only to a certain degree and then flush all the negativity away. Tomorrow is a new day.
  14. We are okay up to Thanksgiving. Christmas is a different kettle of fish. Last year spending my first New Years Eve with NG was very different than how I usually chose to celebrate it. It was anticlimactic and underwhelming. It made me sadder than usual - not the usual hopeful feeling I get with a New Year. I chose to stay over at my in-laws over New Years this year to avoid revisiting that less than stellar feeling. We as a couple can’t do much over the holidays since his kids ping pong back and forth between households the entire break. Again, we’re just 2 threads that come together once awhile but are still 2 completely separate threads, never actually intertwined or woven together. He’s hinted he wants more but it’s never a conversation we actually have. To proceed to more, it would involve lawyers and court over some things they had put in place when they got divorced and mutually agreed to. I just speak in general terms that someday it could be possible. I can’t do more than that. Ironically he’s the limiting factor, not me the widow with my emotional challenges?
  15. Julester3

    3 things I did today

    I got Thanksgiving grocery shopping done. I took a shower today. I made it to work! Lol!

About Julester3

Just a woman trying to raise her 2 daughters and help them retain the good memories of their father. 

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    04/04/2016
  • Name of Spouse
    Josh
  • Date Widowed
    April 7, 2016
  • Cause of death
    Heart attack
  • Spouse's Age
    40


The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Enable
×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.