Jump to content

Julester3

Members

0

Followers

714

Content Count

Country

Genre

Zodiac

About Julester3

Just a woman trying to raise her 2 daughters and help them retain the good memories of their father. 

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    04/07/2016
  • Name of Spouse
    Josh
  • Date Widowed
    April 7, 2016
  • Cause of death
    Heart attack
  • Spouse's Age
    40


Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Enable
  1. Julester3

    Loneliness is a killer

    Remember, there is no time table but your own. It took a couple years for my teen girls to allow me to pare down my LH’s clothing, shoes and coats. Another crazy recommendation...If you can, if you haven’t methodically washed everything as I did. Keep a few shirts he might have worn and might have his scent on them still and put it in a ziplock bag and just tuck away in your closet or dresser. Sometimes, when hijack grief comes or something triggers you and you need the comfort, burying your face in a shirt that smells like your loved one felt like a comforting hug. It’s helped my kids too when they had a few tough times.
  2. Julester3

    Loneliness is a killer

    My main trick for nights were to make myself as tired as I would so I would sleep better like stay up later, work on a crochet project before bed, type in my journal, and then I’d be weary enough to sleep because my eyes would be tired. Then, a wise college friend who lost his partner told me to change my perspective so I’m not looking at the empty space my husband used to occupy. So I slept on his side of the bed and that comforted well in the beginning and made sleeping easier for me. Later on I ended up changing the bed out and getting new sheets so it was “my bed”, not “our bed” anymore.
  3. That is a tough one. Dating for the widowed is not for the faint of heart. It takes patience and persistence. I like your solution about saying that it’s a heavy topic and to save it for later.
  4. Julester3

    Introduction

    So sorry you are joining us here. Grief is hard enough to deal with and then add this pandemic on top and it makes things so much harder since we have to social distance and such. I needed other people to minimize that quiet loneliness. Hugs to you today.
  5. Julester3

    3 things I did today

    1. I hugged my teenager this morning. She was having a bit of an exhausted nervous breakdown from modified school activities. All the rules and minding them are taxing just to be sure everyone remains safe! 2. Made my lunch so I can keep working. I usually get lazy and just snack until I get home. 3. I’m at work today. That is a feat in itself!
  6. I do check in from time to time. It’s been over 4 years for me since I lots my husband. I check the boards and I think many come to read to gain perspective and to have food for thought. I know I did at first. Post and people will answer!
  7. So sorry you are joining us here. So much is going on and that is a big move! Hugs and peace for you today.
  8. Julester3

    The cat almost died

    Breathe! I know the feeling. I have that same thing with my late husband’s dog. I will do what can be done even if she drives me nuts. Last year, she infected a fatty tumor and with 2 different cones of shame, ointment for to be spread, and oozing ickiness (for like 3 months), all I can say is she’s up and running again and her usual self. I did cat with kidney stones and then cancer thereafter. That was no fun either. Hugs!
  9. Julester3

    Teenager vs. Mom vs. Covid

    I think it’s a control issue generally. The pandemic is causing irrational levels of stress and anxiety for many people not just teens. Your son can control going out or choosing to do something or nothing due to the virus. I have a young adult and a teen myself and I use a lot of misdirection just like when they were kids so they can focus on something else. Lately it’s been, “we are so very lucky we have a home and I’m working. What can we do to help small family restaurants and businesses in town?” I have them research local, family owned restaurants we can purchase meals from 2-3 times a week so we are helping our community. We’ve now been to some restaurants we have never tried in the 20 years we’ve lived in town and found some new places to us. I have them check the website on what the local food pantry needs so when I go shopping next we can buy extra. I also had them decorate our windows to be colorful with cut paper and such. People just take walks around the neighborhood. It’s sort of fun to see how people are artistic or creative. We can make smart choices and do what we are comfortable doing. These are also things we can control in a safe manner. So try some diversion tactics. It can’t hurt to try. I hope you can find some balance with your son.
  10. Hey everyone! Hope you are all doing well and are safe considering everything going on in the world. I feel committed however I waver back and forth about future scenarios. I sometimes want more like sharing our lives and cohabiting but I know NG is hesitant and his kids are priority and his kids want to go where they live. I do live in a better school district than they do FWIW but the kids want their friends and what they know. Other times, I’m just fine where I am because I don’t want to move or make any compromises. Something to iron out someday.
  11. Julester3

    Facebook Memory Of My Wedding Day

    All I managed was a link. Lol https://link.shutterfly.com/np8IC6XQA6
  12. Julester3

    Facebook Memory Of My Wedding Day

    I understand that feeling of detachment. Now that I’m in a relationship, it’s how I feel. My married life was a part of me but it’s in the past, no longer present and has that surreal cast to it. This year would have been our 20th year anniversary. I wish I could post a photo. My picture file is too large...I need to see if I can resize it...
  13. Happy birthday nevertheless!
  14. We text daily so we have that. Since you guys live together, you are considered a household. You don’t have to segregate from one another unless one of you are compromised. You just need to not go out at much as possible or interact directly with those not in your immediate household.
  15. Julester3

    Social Isolation and the Rabbit Hole

    I have to agree. You do have time and now you can do as much or as little as you want. There are no rules other than do what gives you peace and find what brings you some joy. It’ll be okay. This path is different for everyone. It took me awhile to find myself and I’m content.

About Julester3

Just a woman trying to raise her 2 daughters and help them retain the good memories of their father. 

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    04/07/2016
  • Name of Spouse
    Josh
  • Date Widowed
    April 7, 2016
  • Cause of death
    Heart attack
  • Spouse's Age
    40


The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Enable
×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.