beth_krkswidow
Members-
Posts
286 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Articles
Calendar
Blogs
Everything posted by beth_krkswidow
-
It's been 10 days
beth_krkswidow replied to Melissa brown's topic in Newly Widowed (1 day to 6 months)
Dear Melissa, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Yes the pain is indescribable and unrelenting. No one could fathom the utter devastation. But you are completely normal. Unfortunately this is the hell of losing the love of your life. I remember keening and not knowing what that sound was or where it could possibly be coming from. You are so fresh and raw. I wish I could give you a hug, remembering the depth of horror of the early days. I am so very very sorry you are where you are. Cling to those who are helping you (letting you talk, or sitting with you in silence, or doing laundry or errands for you... whatever it is that you need. Don't feel guilty for ignoring those "friends "who say heartless hurtful things. I am sso so sorry. Sending you warm hugs. -
Emotions always so close to the edge...
beth_krkswidow replied to rifatheroffour's topic in General Discussion
Bunny, I n could have written every word of this Cry at the drop of a hat. Almost anything can reduce me to tears. And I have much less empathy for others. I compare their problems to losing the Love of my life my wonderful Kirk ... and if it's not nearly that devastating anr shattering, I feel nothing. And I used to be a very compassionate person -
I am so sorry. I had no idea. I am shocked and saddened. Did not know he was sick. I am so so sorry
-
On line dating vents and laughs......
beth_krkswidow replied to momtokam's topic in Social Encounters
So so sorry for your loss, Lead2. -
TRUTH: It doesn't always get better for everyone!
beth_krkswidow replied to sudnlysngl's topic in Beyond Active Grieving
Just so sorry. Don't know what to say. So sorry to hear it all Hugs -
Stuck and still fall apart this time of year
beth_krkswidow replied to candace0902's topic in Beyond Active Grieving
Right there with you. You sound perfectly norma Course our def of normal is not the same as the rest of the world -
I hate this life. I hate this new person
beth_krkswidow replied to beth_krkswidow's topic in Beyond the First Year (1+ years)
Kirk died 2 days before our 28th wedding anniversary so I too have the double whammy at Sadiversary /anniversary time. His birthday is next Wednesday. But he remains the same age, and I am growing ever closer to being as old as he. Strange he was always 5 years older than I and now onky 2 years separates our ages. -
Widow/er Songs for the Holiday Season
beth_krkswidow replied to WifeLess's topic in General Discussion
Still love these songs. Took me awhile to find them. THIRD Christmas without him. Unbelievable. Still sucks -
First my wife, now my mother - some observations
beth_krkswidow replied to Minny9's topic in Beyond the First Year (1+ years)
You expect to outlive your parents. You don't expect to outlive your spouse, your life partner. EVERYTHING changes with the death of a spouse who is your soulmate. NOTHING is ever the same again With the death of a parent, no matter how close you wete, changes some things but definitelynot everything. I was not in the least bit surprised by the vastly different reactions you express Hugs to you -
Cancer and my husband’s pajamas
beth_krkswidow replied to hopon's topic in Beyond the First Year (1+ years)
Sending hugs. SO sorry. Glad you have his pjs for comfort. -
Well, since I met the guy I'm dating at my Widow/er Grief Group... there was no need to tell i was widowed. He'd heard my story countless times. And oddly, I can't say when I decided to start dating because it just happened. I had turned down many dates. I was NOT interested in dating. There were several people in my grief group who helped me with work on my property. My hubby had done everything so I was pretty helpless. After one time when this guy was helping me, we were watching a movie. He put his arm around me and kissed me.. and we are still dating. That was over a year out. And I still tell him that if he'd ASKED me out, I'd have said no.
-
Tell us about your non-human babies
beth_krkswidow replied to MrsT85's topic in Young Widow/ers with No Children
Cae, I often wonder the same thing. My 2 dogs mourned for 2 weeks. One wouldn't eat. And the other one ate but just laid around all the time, not like his normal boisterous impish self. At 2.5 years I wonder if they wonder why he never came home. I took them to the cemetery last week and kept telling them this is where Daddy is. They did not understand. I just wonder what they think. I had always said if I died I wanted them yo see my dead body so they wouldn't think I abandoned them. But he died at the hospital so it was not available . -
Hugs. Just hugs You sound like me. My husband did EVERYTHING. All the shopping , laundry, bills,etc. I worked but at home he spoiled me rotten. But you are ahead of where I was at 3 months. For the first year I actively wanted to be dead. We do survive Kicking and screaming sometimes. So p sorry for the abuse you were subjected to at your most vulnerable point Hugs to you
-
At two and a half years, I still wear mine where he put them. I slso wear his around my neck. I am dating someone and he does not mind at all. In fact, for a surgery, they had to remove them (I couldn't get them off. Fortunately they were able to get them off without cutting them. I cried when they got them off and the guy I'm dating hugged me while I cried then held them for me during my surgery. I plan ,maybe someday having a ring made of his snd mine. But I'm not ready yet to take them off. He is still my husbsnd
-
Shayla, I am at 2.5 years, am doing so very much better. If anyone had told me where I'd be now I wouldn't have believed them. However, his jeans still hang in the bathroom that he was going to wear the next day, his pictures are still everywhere, etc. They usually make me smile not cry these days.. but when I do cry, it's good not bad. You keep his pillow forever if ylou want. NO one has the authority to dictate that except you Four months is the rawest of grief time. No one understands that. They think 4 months is a long time. It's a nanosecond. H u gs
-
Amen to all the above comments. As Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a grief expert [if you ever get the chance to hear him speak, DO IT] says, Some of what people say is harmful but mostly what theybsay is "True... BUT NOT HELPFUL!" He's no longer in pain...true..,NOT HELPFUL You have the rest of your lufe,,,True..,NOT HELPFUL etc.etc They are clueless DGI's and I wanted to punch them in the throat
-
New Relationships....Post a Pic
beth_krkswidow replied to lcoxwell's topic in Relationships/Remarriage
Congratulations, Rob - Wonderful! -
Amen! Congratulations and warm hugs
-
So sorry, TooSoon, that you are having to deal with this where you are having to deal with it. Sending hugs your way
-
My Heart is Shattered and the Fog is Dense
beth_krkswidow replied to Steph's topic in Newly Widowed (1 day to 6 months)
So sorry you had to join our ranks. You will be in this fog for quite some time. It's called widow brain and it's real. Look it up. You'll realize it's normal --as normal as is possible in this hell. One day at a time, one hour at a time, sometimes one nanosecond at a time. Gentle hugs -
Committed But Not Married (Long)
beth_krkswidow replied to SamNE's topic in Relationships/Remarriage
SamNE, My thoughts. This sucks since you do indeed wish to marry. As to your questions..... your life your choice! Call each other by whatever name you want. And yes, your friends and family would be thrilled and honored to attend whatever ceremony or occasion you choose. If they do not even wish to attend, they do not belong among your nearest and dearest. Being able to attend is different from wishing to attend of course. Best of wishes to you -
SO so sorry that you landed here in this hell called widowhood. So sorry for your loss. And sorry to hear of your frustrating triybles, Sending hugsyour way