Jump to content

RyanAmysMom

Members

0

Followers

187

Content Count

Country

Genre

Zodiac

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    7-13-15


Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Enable
  1. RyanAmysMom

    Graduations..... These kids keep growing up!

    Oh Rob..... Your baby sounds like my baby..... He has always suffered from extreme anxiety and gets overwhelmed in groups, in situations that were too social.... My baby started Junior College this week - He homeschooled himself for the past 3 years, so getting back to a "schedule" and "people everywhere" is overwhelming for him. I have had to talk him down a couple of times this week - but he's working through it. My baby (18.5 years old) has also resisted driving... But he's taking his behind-the-wheel test on Thursday next week - I'm PRAYING he passes..... I need him to stretch his wings.... I admire your willingness to support your baby in whatever is needed..... I only hope I could be so kind.
  2. RyanAmysMom

    Have you ever been called out?

    I have a couple of perspectives on this.... First - if it's important enough to approach them, then you can't worry too much about how they'll receive it..... (If you're worrying about how it will be received, perhaps you're not the right one to deliver it...?) If the parent is being irresponsible, they need to be called out - but maybe not called out, but offers of support need to be made. I know I have had times of inappropriate parenting (setting a bad example, being selfish, making poor choices) when I needed support - when I felt the most lonely, the most desperate.... But the bottom line is.. I needed someone to not JUST point it out, but to support me through it.. help me see another way... If the parenting issue is putting a child in danger (any form of abuse including sexual, verbal, physical, neglect, hunger, etc.) then the parent should first be confronted but be told that CPS will be contacted if the issue doesn't improve. But again... if you care enough to get involved, be part of the solution, as well. I have received a lot of feedback about how I raise my son.... Crap shoveled on me because I don't make him "man-up" and do chores like mowing the lawn, or other stupid things... But what the world doesn't see is what he DOES do for me and our family. I've given him a lot of leeway emotionally - removed a LOT of stressors from him (pulled him from public school, delayed learning to drive, etc.) because what others don't know is that he has previously made suicide threats and has extremely intense anxiety issues.... So... recognize that there may be more to the situation than you know..... And if you get involved.... Help all the way through to the solution - don't just criticize... Because the person probably knows they're failing.. but they don't have the knowledge, or energy, or resources, or strength to fix it.... Jen
  3. RyanAmysMom

    facing my inner demon....

    My husband died 4 years ago tomorrow. I blame myself. I haven't forgiven myself. I don't know how. I still cry when I think about his passing.. because I blame myself. I feel so guilty. So responsible. So at fault. I shoulda....... If only........ What if....... If........ Should've taken him home. Should've been with him. Shouldn't have left him alone. Shouldn't have ignored his complaints. If only I had forced him to wear his medic alert bracelet.... Should've helped him get more exercise, eat better.... Should've heeded doctor's warnings..... Should've been a better caretaker, wife.... If only I had taken better care of him.... maybe.... My logical mind knows damn well that there was nothing that I could have done - he was living on borrowed time anyway - and his care was up to him, not me. My logical mind knows the result was inevitable. But the emotional toll........ I know I"m not alone in this..... you understand, right?
  4. RyanAmysMom

    Let's Celebrate!!!

    arneal - Thank you so much! It's interesting that so many people don't understand how difficult it is to get that degree! I am more proud of myself than I can express..... I am a badass! I had gone back to school a year before hubby passed - got my teaching credential - I started teaching elementary school 30 days after he passed.... I now have my Master's in teaching English to non-native speakers - I feel privileged to be able to help others love to learn! Toosoon - Congrats to your girl! That's some great parenting right there!
  5. RyanAmysMom

    Happy Fourth of July!

  6. RyanAmysMom

    Happy Fourth of July!

  7. @arneal - she posted under my thread about celebrations! It's great news!
  8. RyanAmysMom

    widowed 3rd may 2019

    I can't imagine ... but then again.... I can. I am so sorry that you're having such intense grief. It comes through in your words....... I invited my daughter to sleep in my bed after hubbs passed.. I couldn't be alone, either. You're going through so much.... You've exhausted yourself taking care of everyone.. and you still have that job to continue for your son.... But be sure to reach out for help, and take care of you... you may not even know what that means, or how to do it.. but find some time off..... God bless!
  9. RyanAmysMom

    Happy Fourth of July!

    What a beautiful quilt! I'm a quilter, too! Working on a new one for my bed today! Do we need to start a photo gallery of all of our quilting? Keep each other motivated?
  10. RyanAmysMom

    Let's Celebrate!!!

    Laurie - I bought a car 2 years ago .... Had never done that before... LOVED the experience. And my hubbs would've been the one I turned to for support and advice... Do you have someone that can just back you up? It's a huge purchase.. But.... selling my used car.... that was something I had NO idea about.. My dad (again) handled the whole thing.... I would've gotten totally ripped off.... Julester - WOW! Congrats on all of that! Way to take charge! I really started this post to "brag" on myself a little..... but I'm realizing how much I've done in the past few years..... And how important it's been to have my kids see that it's ok to LIVE.... Love you guys!
  11. RyanAmysMom

    Let's Celebrate!!!

    Melissa - Any day you get out of bed, you're brave. I hate this too. My 4th "sad-aversary" is next week.... I'm already falling apart.... But we're alive.. and we have purpose....
  12. RyanAmysMom

    Let's Celebrate!!!

    Oh Melissa! That's HUGE! I remember about a month after my hubbs passed, our refrigerator went out - had to get a new one.... I still recall standing in Best Buy in a haze.. my dad had to take care of everything - Thank GOD for him! Can't imagine buying a car.... Way to go! You're BRAVE!
  13. RyanAmysMom

    Let's Celebrate!!!

    Trying..... that's a HUGE endeavor! Congrats on finding the strength and courage! I'm impressed!
  14. RyanAmysMom

    16 days

    You've done a great job of expressing everything you're going through. I'm so sorry you're here.. but welcome.. I'd say more than anything... everything you're going through is pretty normal... don't apologize for what you feel... The grief will come and go... The sexual urges will come and go. The desire for our "best friend" and the intimacy of the relationship will be pretty constant for a while... Be prepared for a roller coaster ride.... But... You sound like you had a lot of anticipatory grieving, and that may make your days a little softer... Blessings to you - keep coming here... check in ... let us know how it's going.
  15. RyanAmysMom

    Let's Celebrate!!!

    Congrats Sudnlysngl!!!! That's so exciting! I love that you're trying to heal that wound! And I am impressed with your courage! Great job!

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    7-13-15


The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Enable
×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.