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Dragonfly

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  1. Hi! I am a neighbor too, here in RI. Luckily I have not experienced really any father/son or daughter type of things. My son is in 1st grade public school. I teach in the same district and always reach out to the teacher if I anticipate any issues. I also just try and make people aware of the situation. Most recently told one of his coaches. Sometimes I phrase it as "hey just want to let you know my husband/sons dad passed away a few years ago. Can you let me know if you notice him being off or sensitive about something." Good luck with fathers day approaching it will be difficult all around.
  2. Hi. So anyone have any advice on dating as a youngish widow parent of young kids? Late husband passed over a year ago and I have a 5 year old and am finding dating awkward. I started dating someone exclusively but it's so different being a widow compared to other single parents. Not being able to spend the night or be spontaneous. I feel like I am in high school. Need to get a sitter or if family babysits still feeling odd like I am breaking a rule or something. Sorry if this is the wrong place for this. It's hard to find other widows with young kids to relate to.
  3. Hi. So anyone have any advice on dating as a youngish widow parent of young kids? Late husband passed over a year ago and I have a 5 year old and am finding dating awkward. I started dating someone exclusively but it's so different being a widow compared to other single parents. Not being able to spend the night or be spontaneous. I feel like I am in high school. Need to get a sitter or if family babysits still feeling odd like I am breaking a rule or something. Sorry if this is the wrong place for this. It's hard to find other widows with young kids to relate to.
  4. I am so sad. I miss my husband so much. This is so much worse then I imagined. I held it together for so long. Why is 1 year so freaking hard? I just keep thinking back... what if? Ok I will pull it together for my son. I got this right? Dragonfly
  5. I am almost 9 months out from losing my husband. What I am missing most right now is family dinners. He was sick the last few years before passing and so in a sense I got used to doing things alone with my son (who is 5 now) but we pretty much always were together for dinner at night as a family. It is so hard right now to make the most of that time frame (5-7pm) and be happy and positive for my son. How have other people dealt with this? Any advice? I am trying to be very busy and make plans which helps but there are always those nights...
  6. First Fathers Day since losing DH. Very tough on my (4 year old) son and myself. Today on way to school my son said "Mommy I want you to get me another daddy". My heart hurts for him. Tonight is his Pre K graduation. Just another reminder that his dad won't be there to see him. Not sure what helps the most. Might try child therapist just to check in.
  7. It's been 5 months since I lost my husband and best friend and all of a sudden the feelings and sadness and pain and not bring able to deal with it all are raging. For so long I have been holding together and managing. Now I feel like a ton of bricks out of nowhere. I am sad and can't manage. the happy face. This sucks. I feel like I am doing crappy at evwrything.
  8. Thank you so so much everyone. I love reading your ideas and now don't feel so alone in this. I think minimizing my commute will be a big advantage also for being close to my son's school and activities. It would be different of I had a lot of family around but I don't so trying to figure what would be best for just us. You are all amazing and thankbyou for your input!
  9. All you widowed parents, what have you done to make life easier now since becoming a single parent? I am looking for ideas. I am considering moving closer to work so I can spend less time driving around and more time doing things I and my son enjoy. It's a huge change but think it will be for the better. Would also be closer to more people I know (through work) vs being not near anyone to specific. Just looking for other ideas too. )
  10. Hi, How does everyone deal with memories and trying to remember the good ones over the hard ones. Sometimes I get caught up remembering my husband at the end when he was so so sick and I feel horrible and sad about it. He turned into someone he wasn't. He wasn't terminal but needed a transplant to live and for too sick to get one so passed away before he could have surgery. So the expectation had always been survival not death. It wasn't until the last 2 days of his life that it was imminent. I get guilty feelings sometimes like what could we have done differently. All the damn what if's.
  11. Hello, Wow this resonated so much with me. I have been in this forum but not this particular area so much. And tonight realizing some of my conflicting feelings make perfect sense. I was a caregiver to my husband for the last 3 years while he was in liver failure awaiting transplant before he passed away 3 months ago. My friend asked me last night how I am doing and I almost said well things are a little easier now since I am not caring for my husband anymore, just the house and my son. No more doctor trips or hospital stays. I felt horrible thinking that and just confused. I miss him so much and just wanted for him to be better not gone. Sometimes I feel like I need to be exerting myself somehow but dont knoe how. Staying somewhat busy but its tough in the winter too. Just get lonely for companionionship. Ugh.
  12. Hi! Trying to decide about moving to a house in District I teach in. Better scheduling so my son and i will be on same schedule for school, etc. My dad's a realtor and encouraging me to move into an easy maintenance house but I love the country and wouldn't mind a little upkeep so my son and dogs could have room to run and play. Thoughts on big decisions like moving (only 3 months out from becoming a widow, the house kind of reminds me of me and my hubby, we both would have liked it)? Dragonfly
  13. When did people change wedding ring to other hand or take it off? Or what did you do with it? Also when did you start dating again? Just curious...
  14. Hi, this is kind of odd question but what have people done about giving to in laws after spouse passed away. I wish my husband had left some sort of directive about what he would have wanted in that sense. It's such an awkward thing I feel like. Anyone else been in the position of having to make those sort of decisions and not knowing what spouse would have wanted?
  15. Hi, I am there with you at almost 2 months out. I think it's the companionship and intimacy that I am missing so much right now too. I have no advice but it helped to read this tonight and see I am not alone in this roller coaster. I miss being a family and my son having his dad. Ugh.
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