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Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
  • Cause of death
    Esophageal Cancer

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  1. hachi

    Wells Maine - June 14 - 16

    This will be fun!
  2. hachi

    Ashby MA, Flash Bago

    Thanks again, L2F, for hosting. You have a lovely and interesting home. Everything about this weekend was wonderful. XO
  3. hachi

    When to go back to work

    Hi Melissa, i am sorry that you have to face this decision. Yes, everyone is different. For me, after being an extreme caregiver, I could not just bump around an empty house. I went back to work immediately, but I had a job with a private office, and honestly had days where the door was closed and I just stared at the computer. I think it was the right choice for me, but you know yourself better than anyone else. I know many who stopped working and ended up even changing careers entirely. I am glad you found us, this site has been a great place of friendship, advice and support. Marie
  4. hachi

    Emotions always so close to the edge...

    I feel this way as well. It is as though I just can't go there because I believe that if do, I will never stop weeping.
  5. One of the reasons I ever thought to join a widow/widower forum was because as an extreme caregiver, I found a site called healingwell.com pretty helpful. Even there, though, I was in a different mode from most people, who were living with chronic illness. There were a couple of forums for caregivers, though. Ironically, the group that was most helpful to me were people dealing with liver disease and my DH's issue was esophogeal cancer. I just happend to connect with them. So i guess, help is just where you find it.
  6. hachi

    Ashby MA, Flash Bago

    I have a tent! LOL
  7. hachi

    Ashby MA, Flash Bago

    Last weekend in march no good for me. Other dates good...
  8. hachi

    FEB. 14 - Came and went

    Same old Valentines day for me, never cared alot about it. DH wasn't much in the Hallmark holiday department, so I never had great expectations of the day. My birthday is the day before so that made it a little worse. This year NG had knee surgery on the 12th so I was prepared for both days to be even more mediocre than ever, but NG suprised me by getting me a card and a gift ahead of time! Then we watched Lady and the Tramp! OK, sounds lame as I write it, but it was cute and fun and a nice way to spend my birthday.
  9. hachi

    Widowed Jan 16, 2019.

    powbesh, 7 lbs for a small person is alot. That being said, this will probably not continue. Loss of apetite is totally normal, but your body will not put up with it for long. It is early days for you, and you are drowning in wave after wave and struggling for a breath right now. The best thing to do is to not panic, and just try to save your strength so you can breath when you get the chance. Listen to your body, and try not to be so hard on yourself. Drink water. Not alcohol. When you have the energy to get clean, take a bath. If you can eat, eat. If you can't, and you feel weak, drink some supplemental type drinks. If your feelings change from apathy to active thoughts of hurting yourself, please seek help. Otherwise, these feelings are normal. It may be some time before you actually enjoy a meal. But you will. I promise.
  10. hachi

    Sobbed on new girl

    Gracelet! I was just thinking of you the other day, and wondering how you were doing. I missed hearing about your adventures. So happy for you, YES, this is a really big deal!
  11. hachi

    Sad Loss Of WifeLess

    Another Unique and Devastating Loss, indeed... My heart goes out to you Bluebird, and to all who loved this man.
  12. hachi

    Widowed Jan 16, 2019.

    Powbesh, going out of the house is very difficult. It does seem like going through the motions of a living person, but YOU ARE a living person. There is a huge difference between not caring whether you wake up or not in the morning, and actively taking steps NOT to wake up. I know for a very long time (or so it seemed then) that I could have happily died in my sleep and been okay with that. I am not sure that what you are talking about is the same thing, and I agree with tybec. Please get help with the medications. There are certainly things that can take the edge off, but you should be under the care of a professional for them. Peace, Marie
  13. Well, I am sorry to say that my week is not going the way I had planned it. I am flying out really early on Sunday to see my88 yr old dad. Was hoping to squeeze in this much needed bago, but I now have to go to TX for work from FL so I won't be home for a week and my refridgerator just $h1t the bed so my day tomorrow is a little complicated now.... sigh... 3rd world problems, I know. So sorry I wont be there in person to hug you all. I'll be there in spirit. XO Marie
  14. My screen name is Hachi, after the dog in Japan who waited at the train station for his owner for the rest of his life. My dog Nico still looks for my DH in the woods up north and gets confused when his brother come by. I think they must have similar scent. He only does it if he hasn't been around for a while. If I see him more often, he knows its not him. I personally don't think they forget.
  15. I am going to try to come, but I have a very early flight in the AM so may not be possible, I will let you know as we get closer. Thanks for doing this Maureen!

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
  • Cause of death
    Esophageal Cancer

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