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Thinking of Nonesuch today with the Maine Bago coming up. Don't know if she checks in anymore, but maybe the post will notify her? Maybe not because she comes up as guest.

All sounds great! Really looking foward to this. Hope to come up after work on friday. Like Maureen I am expecting traffic so probably not til 7 or so... I will find you where ever you are! LOL

Might be a possibility for me to head up there for a little while on Friday night.

Yes, I know this feeling. Sigh... Sometimes I am thankful I can still feel this. It reminds me that it was real, that it happened to me. It wasn't a dream. He was here. And then he wasn't. I hope the days are gentle on you, and that the memories will bring the occasional smile that no one else will understand.

In my opinion, DGI is not necessarily a slur. Most people who "don't get it" are not shut down in the way you say. Most of us don't exclaim "you just don't get it!" and stop talking. Even in the OP's post, when he didn't get it, she explained. And her post was entitled "rant". In the spirit of helping you with your reflection, I would gently advise you to consider the context before you "lose your shit" and accuse someone of taking the "the lazy way". Hope you got your snickers bar, you did sound a little cranky!

I would be willing to do a Boston or Manchester airport run. I am 45 minutes from Boston and 30 from Manchester. Don't be shy, make your needs known. People are driving in from lots of areas, so we can make it all happen! There is also a convenient little airport in Worcester MA with direct Jet Blue flights from Orlando.

Nearest airport, hmm, Manchester NH is probably the most convenient, but there is also Portland ME and Logan in Boston. Are you renting a car, there is not much in the way of public transportation up here....

Great question, and two great answers. I am in a relationship which, like Maureen says, is totally different than my marriage. Two different people, but also, I am a different person than I was at 25. My marriage was strong, but tumultuous. My new relationship, while I would never call it boring, is a bit more predictable. I am not sure I have the energy for the ride my first marriage was. I guess we all just have to figure it out for ourselves. What works for us and our new mate. I know he is happy I am in his life, he says I am the best thing that ever happened to him. I am content. If I feel any guilt, it is for feeling relieved not to have the extremes. Maybe it is settling, or a compromise. I know some who knew me with my husband might say so, but I don't really care. We are building a good life together. Great affection and liking how you feel when you are with her is a pretty good start. I like that you told her you love her even though you are not sure what that is. In full disclosure, I expressed similar feelings to my NG and that honesty is what allowed our relationship to develop. Sounds like your girl's the same.

Welcome Paul, I am glad you found this forum. In my early days I read for months before I posted and found it so helpful as well. Mostly to feel like I wasn't crazy. Even now, and it will be six years for me in a couple of days, I am still finding my new normal. I am a strange combination of the girl I once was before I married, the woman I became after married, and a new person who doesn't resemble either of them. Me, myself and I. Peace,

Sunsetmojito, I am so sorry you are going through this. I get the "beyond exhausted" and remember wondering how it would feel when it was all over. It truly was an honor to be able to be by his side, and the end was really peaceful. We had home hospice also. Things for me that were important - minimizing the flow of people in and out, and letting those who were the closest help me when I needed a short break. I never did bring myself to leave the house in the last weeks. Figured there would be time for that later. But the short breaks to look at the sunset, or play with the dog were welcome. I hope that hospice is able to manage his pain to make this more bearable for the both of you, Marie

Bumping this as a reminder that we settled on Sept 14/15 Hoping to hear more aye's! RIFF? JeanGenie? Trying? Guaraj? Captain's Wife?

I was just in Shanghai, and used an app on my phone that worked really well. It was recommended by my Chinese colleagues and we used it a lot. You can even speak into it. Mine is on an iphone, it is just called translator. Not sure if it is available on droid but probably because it is by microsoft.

You didn't hijack, my friend. You just validated that feeling that when we have that special someone ( and in here I include you and my NG) who can deal with the memory of a love no longer with us, well that is something to treasure. I love how love wins.

Today is a mixture of events.... 6 years ago I was trying to figure out how to get him back to the cabin. The place he would die. I am here now. I arrived yesterday with new guy. The first day of summer. It was an exquisite sunset. One of the most beautiful I have ever seen. New guy was out in the neighborhood. I still call him NG even though we have been together for a few years now. Anyway, I texted him that he was missing it, but I didn't really mind. I was sharing it with DH. In his place. The place he always called home. It felt very peaceful and right to be alone with the sunset in this beautiful place he built for us. In the early years I couldn't steel myself to the pain of walking around the deck expecting to see him. Waiting for me to join him for the sunset in the long days of summer. I would tell myself that he wasn't there, but was always surprised to find that he wasn't. It was the same gut punch, time after time. At 6 years I have learned to keep my thoughts to myself, but NG is keenly aware, and when my mood shifts, he knows that I can't help it. The calendar of the heart calls me back to my dear love. Always missed. Always remembered. Always a treasured part of me....

September is wide open for me except for Labor Day weekend.

Ah yes, the six year club. in three weeks I will be there also. I echo your sentiments, Mac. What a life!

I would love to do this, and live in driving distance, so would not need accomodations. Could also put up a couple of people, have two extra bedrooms. Throw some dates out there!

So sorry to be missing this... wish I was getting home sooner! Have fun, and anyone hesitating to go to a bago for the first time - two words - DO IT! It might just be the best thing you ever did....

Never mind. Must be that envelope at the top next to the sign in! Sheesh. Thought I was losing it there for a minute...

OK, I know it's been a while, but for the life of me, I can't figure out how to private message? Can someone help me out? What am I missing? I can't even find my mailbox...

Hi R, Here is my experience, similar to Trying, I had a bit of a drought over the years of DH's illness. It had been about 5 years for me since I had any "regular" sex. What I mean by that is, while we improvised, and the spirit was willing, I had not had a good down and dirty f'ing in a long time, and really wasn't looking to in the months after his death. When I met NG, I had no thoughts of getting involved with him romantically. It just sort of evolved. Shortly after my daughter pointed out that he was "into me" I started paying attention. The flood gates sort of opened up at that point and to tell you the truth, I just became horny as a teenage virgin. This is probably TMI, but I did not know at that time that I was right about to enter menopause... so there's that. A cautionary tale, for me it was a case of not being able to have casual sex, as much as I really wanted to. So here I am 5 years later and still with NG. While our relationship is solid now, and we are domestic partners, it was not without it's challenges. In retrospect, it was too soon. I think if I had waited longer, and was ready to be in my next "forever" relationship it would have been a little easier.

I like the part where they aren't bothered by each other. To me, that would feel like it means it's ok for DH to have space in your head once in a while. new DH is cool with it. In that sense I guess it is normal.

It's sort of just the opposite for me. I had a lot of responsibility as a young teenager and couldn't wait to get out on my own. I had just started exploring the world when I met my husband, got married and had babies. I wouldn't trade our time together for anything, but now, in this phase of my life, everything is spontaneous and extraordinary. The big trips are planned, but I usually drop everything when I have a chance to go do something, or visit with people. It is too evident to me that today is the day. I might not get that chance tomorrow. The only difference really is the things I find extraordinary these days. Which is pretty much everything!

Can't believe I never saw this before, excellent!

Wow, Maureen, Not too many would get this. I have the same thoughts when I walk through cemeteries. Who were these people and what was their story?