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  • Date Widowed
    November 2011
  • Cause of death

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  1. Eddienhp

    She's growing into him

    I have witnessed this myself with my two kids. One day I looked at my daughter and saw my husband. It was jolting and breathtaking at the same time. I am pleased they have inherited some of his qualities. I am 8 years in November.
  2. Eddienhp

    Returning to Oz…

    So great to hear your happy news, Maureen. I came to widowhood in November 2011 so I remember your name and history. Thank you for sharing your story of resilience, determination and hope!
  3. I notice lately I walk around saying Fuck under my breath. A lot. All I can say is F, F, F!!
  4. Eddienhp

    There's hope for me yet....

    A lot of people tell me there is hope for me too, that I am still young, etc. What they don't realize is I have no interest. I am busy raising my kids. Maybe one day but not now. I think it is more a societal matter that people need to be coupled. Many people feel uncomfortable being alone. They project their own fear and insecurities onto us by making these comments. I find peace and tranquility in being alone. I love this! Oh Hell no!!! LOL
  5. Eddienhp

    Will our 4 year old remember Daddy?

    My kids were 5 and 2 when my husband died. They do not remember him. That said, they do enjoy talking about him, looking at his artwork and using his items. My daughter plays my husband's flute. She loves rocks and minerals which my husband had a collection. Both of my kids are so much like their father. We talk about that a lot. What traits and talents they share with my husband. I also have a stepdaughter we see once a month. Both she and I talk about memories that my children listen too. Your child's relationship continues with their dad. It's just in a different way.
  6. Eddienhp

    Smear Campaign

    "death brings out the worst in some people I guess" Absolutely yes. I saw some amazing things after my husband died. I remain shocked to this day 7+ years later. The bottom line is THEY were crazy. Crazy people do crazy things. Do an internet search for free legal help. There are agencies funded by the government to help those with low income. Also check out colleges with law programs. They look for cases for their students to work on. I don't know what she thinks she is going to get. She will have to pay for the lawyer who will want a good sized retainer. Lets see if she follows through. As for the kids, perhaps when they are older they will seek you out and re-establish contact. So sorry you have to deal with this!
  7. Oh, so sorry Tybec. My heart goes out to you, your son and the young lady's family. Sending strength..Eileen
  8. Eddienhp

    There are worse things than death

  9. Eddienhp

    Broken Heart.

    Gem, I am at 7-1/2 years and I just now feel like I have healed from the pain. I was on a very slow road of grief that had so many obstacles along the way. I questioned God too. Why was I still here. Somewhere in the middle I found my purpose; to help people with disabilities. My son is disabled. I started a social skills group in desperation to help him. Seeing those kids come in with smiles brought my joy back. Watching their parents de-stress in the waiting room knowing this was the only place they wouldn't be asked to leave due to their child's behavior make me realize the significant impact we made on a family. Now I reach further to become a state recognized provider so we can offer more. I was taken down a road that led me to here. I most likely wouldn't have taken the road if my husband were still alive. Do I love life? I am not sure I am there yet. Do I enjoy my life again? Mostly. I feel my loss and I have learned to accept it and live with it. My life is good. We have everything we need with the exception of a Dad/Husband. You are questioning why you are still here. Asking God why. I feel this will lead you to the place you are supposed to be. Try to be patient. It will come to you. One bit of advice if I may. Make sure you take care of yourself. I let self care slide now I am paying the price for it. Hang in there. Eileen
  10. Eddienhp

    Wish I could die today

    Sending you hugs Bubu27. I have been there. My children are what keep me going. It's 7-1/2 years for me. I finally feel like I am free of the pain and sadness. Not a day goes by without thinking of my husband. I have not moved on. I have learned to live without. I must be here to make sure these kids grow into independent adults who are self sufficient. I haven't dated. I don't know if I ever will. It seems like that part of my life is gone. I can understand and relate to what you say. So sorry for your loss. Eileen
  11. Eddienhp

    This loss really got me

    I have a disabled son who has community support workers who help him. One of his workers passed away suddenly. She was with us since 2015. Needless to say we are devastated. The loss is magnified by my children's grief. They were so young when my husband passed. They don't remember it. So, in their minds, this is their first death they have experienced. I have been affected in very strong ways. I can't think clearly, barely getting things done. I feel like I am going to get sick. I am heartbroken. This lady passed from circumstances that shouldn't have happened. It doesn't seem right. She was a tremendous force in the disabled community so a terrible loss for us and a tragic loss for her family. This lady was like family to us. I see my kids grieve; both in such different ways. One shut down and the other talks about it. I feel like I have to hide from one child so the other child can speak. I have now assumed this lady's working hours with my son. I can't bear to replace her with another worker. I doubt my son would be ready anyway. I'm not ready. This loss really knocked me to my knees. My husband's death was so different. He had cancer and battled close to two years. This one got me. Eileen
  12. Eddienhp

    Michael797 Radio Hell

    So sad. He was well liked because of his witty writing style. My condolences to his family & friends.
  13. Eddienhp

    I'm an orphan

    So Sorry Virgo. Sending you hugs. Eileen
  14. Eddienhp

    Widowed on Dec 29, 2018

    So sorry you had to join us Widower40. That said, you will be glad you did. I am 7-1/2 years out. My kids were 2 and 5 at the time. I remember 9 months and 18 months being very tough. I had a long grief period as I had to face some significant and complicated financial issues. My 5 year old had autism and was nonverbal. It was a very difficult journey. Fast forward to today, my autistic son has made tremendous strides. He is 12 now. I am in awe of him. My 9 year old daughter is simply amazing. I really couldn't be prouder of the fine young children they have become. They are both caring, kind and generous. Each one is so much like my late husband and it is comforting. I can see each of them having a bright future that has been shaped by our loss and will be combined with their individual talents. We are currently grieving a significant loss of a very special woman who helped my son. It is bringing up the loss of my husband again. With this current loss, my children are able to understand more about death. Each grieve so differently; my son asking questions and wished to attend the wake while my daughter refuses to talk about it. I know we will work our way through the loss of this special lady together. I am following the children's lead. I answer their questions. I describe what the services are and what they look like. I give my daughter the space she needs. While other people told me I should worry about her not speaking about her grief, something tells me she is ok and she will be ready one day. For now, I will reassure her and tell her it is ok not to talk. To be honest, I couldn't bear to tell my kids for two days. Here are a couple of things that helped us along the way: Sesame Place has an amazing resource to help children cope https://sesamestreetincommunities.org/topics/grief/ The Dougy center is another great resource https://www.dougy.org/grief-resources/how-to-help-a-grieving-child/ I send my best to you. Keep the faith that it will be better one day. Eileen
  15. Eddienhp

    Lost with two little kids..

    Sadness, you are fine just where you are. You have been dealt a big blow in life. Its normal to feel just like you do. My husband passed 7 years ago. At the time. kids were 5 and 2. It was so hard to work, take care of kids plus grieve. I remember feeling like a robot. It did get better, little by little. Now it is a lot better. I still think of my husband everyday and I miss him. I do feel I have recovered from the pain of the loss. It no longer wears me down. Have faith that you will survive. You will find yourself. Your life will be redefined. Life can and will be happy again. We learn to be grateful for the time we had with our loved ones and carry them with us throughout our journey. Sending you hugs, Eileen

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    November 2011
  • Cause of death

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