Salonely

I needed to read all of this soooo much right now, I swear, I’m starting to feel like I’m loosing it... it’s been 1,5 years now since I lost my boyfriend, and last month he was supposed to have his birthday, ever since the past 2-3 months I’m a complete wreck. It feels like I’m back to the very beginning, constantly having fight back my tears when I’m in public, uncontrollable emotions catching me off guard at any time and place. I’m back to the start avoiding so many situations that can throw me off balance, I feel like I’m not able to function like a normal person at all and it’s getting worse instead of better. Mostly I was (thanx to reading all of ur messages I can say “I was” and not “I am”) feeling like I’m broken forever, and that I should really be getting better and not worse by now, angry at myself for still “failing” and ashamed of having to keep telling people around me “I CAN’T” to so many things (anyone else also tired of getting this reply: “I know it’s hard, but you really just HAVE to...?) Anyway, sorry for my rambling, have wanted to reply so many times already but keep putting it of till I have a more structured story, but that’s never happening, and I needed to let it out now. Thnx!