Angelalpn

I lost my dear Scott literally 42 days ago. He had a heart attack, stroke and undiagnosed diabetes. We have three adult children. I woke up to find him lying gone next to me. I have horrible guilt that if only I would have woke up an hour earlier I could have saved him. I don't sleep because I keep seeing him that morning. I have tried to make everyone happy and ended up making myself miserable. Do the nightmares ever go away? Angela

Abby, Our stories are so similar. I actually lost my Scott on May 27th...on vacation visiting our children in Colorado. I moved back to Colorado. I too feel lost, confused, and lonely. My kids are older 19, 21, and 24 but they have their own circle of friends. I feel like I have no one. His family is being very difficult. They are trying to get me to make decisions. I decided the only decision I am making is that I am not making any decisions. Please reach out...we can cry together

Thank you for this. It says everything. Is there a way to copy and paste this. I would love to post it on facebook

I am at the little over a month mark. I am lost, confused and literally alone. I cry at everything, get angry for the littlest things, and rejoice when I feel good enough to shower. I have found that little things also make me smile and think of Scott. Someone texted me just days after he passed to ask how I was...that still bothers me, but that particular day it was funny. I was texting back that I was fine-ish. My phone auto corrected it to I am a fish. My children and I got a needed laugh...they are all adults 19, 21, and 24. So now if we are asked we say we are a fish. I am a creative writing major and planned on writing historical fiction. Now I have decided to write a young widow grief book because there isnt much out there.. I have decided the title will be I am a fish

I was told I literally had a week to contact them. The bad part is it can take months for them to get you an appointment.

Mona, First off I am so sorry for your loss and that you had to watch him battle through cancer. I lost my husband literally 42 days ago very unexpectedly. I don't know which is worse watching them fight or it coming out of no where. I can understand losing friends. I feel extremely lonely. My sister in law lost two children and told me to expect to lose people I never thought I would. I thought she was nuts, but its so true. I have found that no one understands what we are feeling. Please hang in there. Angela