SailorGirl

I have recently learned that one of my long time friends has apparently turned her back on me. I recently posted in the 1yr plus forum about my in-laws demanding property that belonged to my late husband from my parents. The next day, this so-called friend sent me a message on FB detailing all of the things that I done to wrong my late husbands family. They were all exaggerations and lies. From the text of her message, it was easy to infer that she had held a lengthy conversation with either the MIL or SIL about the situation. She told me that I had 'lost a great family' and also said that if I didn't get grief therapy that I would lose all of my friends. I'm seeing a therapist, and I'm actually doing very well. My in-laws are the ones who seem to be having issues moving forward in their lives 2+ years past the loss of DH. I visited my parents this weekend, and they told me that while my MIL was at their house, that she had said that one of my friends had told her that I had said that my late husband was a burden (which is absolutely not true). Considering the other lies that they have told, I'm not sure if that is true or not. However, if it is, this friend is the only friend of mine who communicates with them. I feel like this friendship has ran its course. It's obvious that my friend is no longer my friend and is being used by his family against me. She lives 6 hours away and we have no daily interaction. We keep up with each other mostly through Facebook. I have already changed my Facebook settings so that she can't see any of my posts, mostly to keep her from taking anything about my life back to his family. I deleted and blocked his family after the incident--I felt it was provoked by a photo of myself and a gentlemen I have been seeing. I've already told her that I feel like she has already chosen a side, which she denied. Should I just unfriend her and let her figure it out on her own, or do I owe her an explanation as to why I am ending the friendship?

My in-laws really turned up the crazy yesterday. We haven't had any sort of contact in over 6 months. They called my mother on Monday and told her that they were coming by on Wednesday evening to pick up the two guitars that my husband had left at my parents' home. I sent MIL a text yesterday saying that we would discuss it this weekend, as it was not a good day. They disregarded my text, and MIL and SIL showed up anyway, demanding that my parents give them the guitars. My parents refused, they got angry and cause a scene, and my parents asked them to leave. They refused to leave until my parents gave them the guitars. I was at work, it seems they timed this so, so I was not able to be of much assistance. My mother was crying in the floor, and my dad was fearing that she may have a heart attack; all the while, these heartless people were demanding $200 worth of property that wasn't even theirs. I finally told my parents to give them the guitars, as my mother's health was more important than property to me. I really can't believe the audacity of these people.

I joined the group. I won't be able to make the dinner on Tuesday--I work second shift.

Yay! So excited for all three of you. I'm so happy that I was able to meet you both. Enjoy your new adventure. <3 Bridget

It gets worse. I sent his sister a text and asked if it was OK if I attend the memorial service on Thursday. She wrote back and said "I don't think that would be a good idea. No." I know this isn't what he would have wanted, but I will respect their wishes.

It happened again. Less than two years after losing my husband, I have just lost the second most important man in my life. My best friend/boyfriend Ryan went missing in the marina where our boat was docked on Feb 20. We had broken up about 6 months prior due to issues with his family; he was living on the boat, but we still talked occasionally. I was standing in line at the corner grocery store on Saturday when I saw the fire truck and rescue boat racing down my street. They recovered his body in the water around 1,000 feet from my house, which is roughly 1.5 miles from the marina. He was 39. I watched the recovery from my living room window. Everyone said he came back to me. To top it off, today is my late husband's birthday. He was a leap day baby, so this is his first 'real' birthday since his passing. Hy heart hurts so badly.

I'm in Pensacola.

Florida Panhandle

I thought to myself that maybe if DH was a former president, they may have been able to save him too. I hate cancer.

How did you get the courage to go on that first date again? DH passed away a year and a half ago, and I was recently in a bad relationship with a close friend. I moved to a new town to build a life with NG, but it quickly went south. I haven't been on a 'first date' in over 15 years. I'm tired of sitting home alone, but for some reason I'm scared to make that move.

From my new guy's mother to him: "She just needs to get over it. It's not like she's the only person in the world who has ever lost someone to cancer." Needless to say, we will never be close.

Melanoma. 2 years from diagnosis to death at 34. Complete and utter hell, and that is putting it mildly. F cancer!

You're not hard hearted. I was my husband's sole caretaker for 2 years. In the end, he was bed-ridden and his family finally came to visit. His cancer had spread to his bones, and was very painful. He would ask me to re-position him, but even that hurt and he would cry out in pain. I did it as gently and quickly as possible, but I distinctly remember his mother telling me that I was being too rough with him and running out of the room crying. You do what you have to do. Sending lots of hugs.

I'm about 3 hours away (Pensacola, FL). Keep me informed, I'm game!

Big hugs. One of my best friends was pregnant when DH died. We had been discussing starting a family right before he was diagnosed with cancer. It was hard. I couldn't bring myself to go to the shower and surround myself with such happiness while I was so sad. She is a beautiful soul and completely understood. They named him after DH when he was born, so even though we didn't get to have children of our own, a little piece of him lives on.