Birdbucket

Not strange at all. I had the same reaction, too. Our mattress was incredibly hard to part with as well. It symbolized our marriage.

STERBS sounds like a STD. what the hell is that anyway? The things 'experts' come up with is beyond me. edited to add: that she is seriously diSTERBed. hahaha thought of that one walking away from computer.

I think when these comments hurt the worst is the intention behind them. We've all got these. The comments that are easier to blow off are the ones that come from people who are uncomfortable but mean well. Those I don't even remember anymore. But these two are the ones I'll never forget.... At a party for my in-laws a year maybe after LH died, I was telling this man who I was... daughter-in-law of their son who died a year ago. He asked how he died, and I said cancer. His reply, "What did you Do to him?" followed by laughter at his insanely funny joke. I was too stunned and all I could do was walk away. A few days after the funeral, my parents were leaving to go back to the States. The last thing my mom said to me as I'm sitting in LH's chair in my bathrobe still in shock was... "You. Need. To. Get. Your. Act. Together." then just grabbed her suitcase and left. To this day she has no idea how much that hurt me and still does. It felt more like desertion.

You might not recognize my name but I have been around since 2008. I didn't post a whole lot the last few years but checked in every now and again. LH died 7 years ago in feb 2008 at age 37 from RCC. I had a baby and a three year old. Came here (or ywbb) about june or july 'o8 and read and read and read. A few months later I joined and it was a lifeline. Coincidentally the day before the old board came down I posted a question about EMDR for my son. I don't think I'd posted for a couple of years. Still to this day if I'm faced with a grief situation of any kind, I go to the wids. I know the advice will be honest. So I'm glad this is here. you might not hear from me too often but I'll be around. Thank you again to all the good souls who set this up! Cheers, Jenn