amandalgh

hoping to put phx back on the map...

Awe, I love it! I love your openness. And honesty, clearly that's the key, being honest with yourself.

Maureen, did you feel any hesitation dating 6 months after? I feel torn, I personally feel ok talking to another man (and I am, he's a fellow widower, happened by accident) but I still feel guilty so I am not open about it.

bump!!!

This is a safe place and anonymous enough. I have connected with a widower (his loss was several years ago) by accident, we did not mean to 'connect'. He reached out immediately after the loss and we havent stopped talking. It is difficult to think about becuase a part of me feels I am moving too fast, but emotionally I am not vested in anything. We have hung out and the companionship is nice. Its nice having company and having someone to talk to.

The silence kills me.

Newbie here, digging Phoenix thread up again ;D

I'm so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself, don't deny emotions, feelings, any of it, everything is normal, and NOTHING is wrong with you in how you process this. There is no rulebook on any of it. The best way I explain my grief to myself is via video games (I don't play, and don't know where I came up with the parallel). This grief is like a video game level/world that was unlocked. You have never played in this level and did not prepare for it. These emotions I experience are new, I've never experienced this level of sadness, loneliness, heartache. Nobody understands this level of life until they've gone through it. so like I said, don't be hard on yourself, take one day at a time. And remind yourself that your wife would want you to smile and look at the bright side of things once you're ready. She would want you to take care of yourself as best you can.

I feel this sense of compartmentalization come over me often as I process everything. I believe it due to the fact that I've had to do that almost the whole time I was married. My husband was very very ill, and I cared for him, while working full-time, attending school, running our household, etc. I had to learn to wear different hats and keep emotions/feelings in check while I just do what needs to get done. I feel myself doing it now; sure I mourn, I cry, I get sad, but for the most part, the loss is in a bin, and other things (work, life, etc.) are business as normal. Since I am doing this, I find myself missing companionship in general. It feels WAY too soon to move on, but I miss having someone to talk to, to take care of (in a general sense, not as a caretaker), etc. Anyone else feel this so early on?