Hello,
I'm new here. My story qualifies me to post in multiple locations on this board so I'm sorry if I'm posting wrong.
My boyfriend of 13 years was found on Thanksgiving day by his daughters. I've known him since I was 13 years old. He was my first crush.
He was an alcoholic and we owned a home together and raised his daughters and two of my nephews. His alcoholism progressed and I just couldn't live like that anymore. I left him in October. After months of him binge drinking for 25 days of every month. That is not an exaggeration. I specifically said to him over and over that I didn't want to wake up one morning and find him dead on the couch. Instead, His daughters found him dead on the couch. He had drank a half a gallon of Quervo in one night and died of alcohol poisoning. I wasn't talking to him because we had gotten into a fight a week before because he continued to call me while drunk.
I don't know if I had been in shock since or just focusing on everything I had to get done. Because of his death, I had to move back into the home that we both owned. I started a new job and we had to get through the holidays. I would cry every once in a while, but not really break down. But, this past Sunday was his birthday. Since that day, I've been going through all these emotions. I broke down on Monday night...I mean really broke down and sobbed about him. It's like my anger armor cracked. Now, I'm calmer but still feel sadness, guilt, anger, and frustration.
On top of that, I went from being his significant other for 13 years to being a "friend" legally. His kids and ex wife are handling everything with his estate (except for my house) and I have no say. I know for a fact that he would be horrified if his ex had anything at all to do with his estate. His kids know that, too. They have no desire for anything that he personally owned...mementos, etc. I've begged them to come over and get some of his personal items...things that meant a lot to him but not a lot monetarily....they want nothing to do with it. They asked "why would we want old stuff?". It's sad.
I'm so up and down on this roller coaster right now and don't know how to feel.
