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  1. sudnlysngl

    My father isn't doing well, need your advice

    I've always found it "funny" how some people can do some real shitty things to their kids in life, then when it's time for them to kiss their own ass goodbye NOW they want to lay on some guilt to those kids they "abused" and threw away so they can clear their own conscience, I call bullshit, sorry!!! Let the witch he choose over you sit with him and wipe his ass and tears..... Needytoo, I'm with Mike on this one as well, but I would also go for YOU and keep it short and say what YOU want and need to say! Only if that's what YOU want, praying for you. Please don't guilt yourself on any of this, He didn't, remind yourself of that....
  2. sudnlysngl

    Thanks Grieving.........

    I'm so sorry CW. Once again the address book has changed and somehow we the widows got erased! Shame on those who have been so damn ugly to us who have been hurt by it all. I know the bible says something about the world is "suppose" to take care of and look out for the widows! Pfft, yeah right, all I've gotten is kicked for it, even had a psychic come up to me at the zoo when my grandson was barely 1 and confirmed that one.... Again, sorry for the lonely holiday's, I'll be thinking of you and lonely with you....
  3. So sorry arneal about your bf's uncle๐Ÿ™. I've never had much luck with honey baked ham. The one ham I got one time was so fatty and I was soo pissed, lol. So needless to say I don't go there anymore. Besides , I'm one of the few that can't stand green bean casserole either. Give me a good ol pot of southern style cooked green beans๐Ÿ˜‰ As far as the relationship status. Well girl, sounds like it's time to have the simple conversation with your man of where or what he sees your relationship as. Cause it isn't a surprise that men and women see things so differently, but time to put it out there and to know if the two of you are on the same page. Can't hurt to know! You two aren't getting any younger, so know where you both stand in this.... But for me, I will be glad when the holidays are over! Oh, and the jerk off ex has publicly set a wedding date with the bitch he wasn't cheating with!!! For less than a year after I kicked his ass out, and less than 9 months from being divorced! And all these people don't see anything wrong with him yet? Really? Maybe they are just to embarrassed to admit they backed a lying sociopathic fake wanna be!!!! Someone will let me know when it all crashes and fails, and I will be laughing the whole time....๐Ÿ˜„
  4. sudnlysngl

    Some Advice??

    Not so much as it is someone in cyber world!
  5. sudnlysngl

    Thanks Grieving.........

    So sorry RAM, It's been 11.5 yrs for me and in the first yr and a half I lost my bf she died and her husband didn't even tell me! My sil, brother, every pet I had , Then everyone else abandoned me except my daughter. And it all remains the same.... Somehow , I find something to be grateful for everyday. We can choose to be better or bitter, and I'm doing my best to be better โ˜บ๏ธ even if the world is trying to make me bitter by taking everything.....
  6. Something I learned when my husband died and I wished I had learned much younger was, the address book changes drastically when something like this happens your life. And boy did it ever! I also learned what I was willing to put up with and not! After years of abuse from my mother, then from others, enough was enough! I am back to being broken, pieces of me are missing, and I am struggling to find my self worth again, but I do know no one will ever put me so far down or last that I don't matter! Like I said in an earlier post, of coarse children come first, but there is comprise, they grow up and start living their own lives. Sounds like someone uses them as excuses, sorry, and I would want to mean so much to a person again that he couldn't live without me. Not that he couldn't but he wouldn't want to! What a feeling that is! Again, Tybec wishing you the best. Just wanting the best for you, and after just divorcing a real psychopathic jerk, don't settle for second place with anyone. We all deserve better....
  7. Funny how affective that is! My dh always got it more clearly when I did the same thing back to him verses just trying to discuss it. Used to drive me bat shit crazy, but what I would give to have him back and him still learning, โ˜บ๏ธ Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving to all of you....
  8. Thanks arneal, but different coasts I think? But my dh wouldn't have had a problem with some venison either, lol. Enjoy your day, and that sandwich the day after too!
  9. Are you having guests???? Sounds delish โ€ฆ.(hint) I can make some wonderful sides to go with all that MEAT, lol Actually, it's not cheating when you preorder some of the meat/or dishes pre made. It's called , enjoying yourself, and working smarter not harder !๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜‰ Happy Turkey Day to you and your fellow, and to all the rest of you out there ๐Ÿ–๐Ÿฆƒ๐Ÿฎ
  10. Sorry tybec๐Ÿ™. Sounds like it's time to rethink the whole relationship with this guy. I've read all your post and I realize that there is give and take in a relationship, but girl it just never sounds like he has that true loving respect for you. I know for me that no one will ever take dh's place, but I also know that I want to be respected, and I want to be their #1, like they don't want to go days without me, not that they can't but they don't want to! I understand the importance of kids too, but damn they grow up and leave home, THEN WHAT? I'm sorry but girl please take some time and really rethink this relationship with this guy. My gut screams every time you talk about him, and not in a good way, sorry..... Even though I lost everything, I can honestly say I'm glad to be rid of the one I had, NEVER SETTLE, NEVER...โ€ฆ And to answer your question, their (dh, parents, all those we've lost and loved) presence is with us forever now, embrace it, and enjoy it. smile when it touches us in those moments if you can.... Keeping you in my prayers....
  11. Girl this is NOT a "high class" problem, it is a widow/er, everyday problem! Stand your ground, and you already have a valid reason for not hosting them this year. Make it clear your kids are NOT going to be home so you won't be there either. Sometimes you have to tell a little white lie to keep the negative away.๐Ÿ˜ We get it! I didn't cut off the in laws , they all cut me off when my dh died including my step kids that I helped raise! So girl, BE STRONG, you already have a VALID reason, stick to it, say it one more time, then STOP! Stop answering them, stop guilting yourself, and girl enjoy yourself with your new guy!!! YOU deserver this after everything you have been through.... Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers....๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜Š
  12. Wow how the tension comes off of your post t2b! With saying that , you already know that your family was forever changed the day your dh died and you can't make it be the way it used to be for your late mil. If YOU still have a great relationship with her then I don't think there would be all of this tension. Like some of the others have said if yours kids are grown, and IF they want to go to the grandparents for the holiday then let them go. Otherwise it's time for YOU to have the talk with mil and enjoy living life again. Cause no matter what you or she does it won't bring dh back for either one of you. Sorry to say those things, it hurts me to say them cause I miss my dh so much right now... Best of luck to you, be strong.
  13. (((HUGS))), Life will never be the same without them.... But forever changed because of them....
  14. Sorry you have lost the love of your life Nurse. By your writings you have loved, lived and grown by leaps and bounds with this man you called your husband ๐Ÿ˜Š, what a blessing. I'm sorry that your family, or mine , or any others think or would ever think that when the day our loved one dies is the day to viscously attack us. Their pain and grief is no excuse to do this to us or anyone else, but especially us the wife/husband. The one who is on their knees in so much pain. Your words show so much forgiveness that I would not and have not been able to extend to those who have done this to me. My prayers are with you and glad you found this place here with so many who truly get it.
  15. sudnlysngl

    Really - forever mail?

    For those of you wanting these mailers to stop, if and when you call these companies just kindly remind them of the legal recourse you have in today's world with the security breech and identity theft problems that are existing. Let them know that they are adding to it by having been informed that your loved one is deceased and you have kindly asked for them to be removed from all mailers and mailing list asap. This should work, because if you tried to get any kind of joint credit involving them that would put YOU in legal hot water! So why or where in the world would it ever be ok for these people to be using your loved ones name or information after notification in any way shape or form? It's NOT! Once I stated this fact to a few places all mailers stopped, and all information about my husband was flagged and no longer able to be used! Also inform credit reporting agencies as well. Just saying, you have rights to protect your loved ones information . It's sad that we live in a world where there are people who will if given the chance use that information the wrong way!

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