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Steph

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  1. Steph

    It must be tough...

    A woman I know, probably in her mis 80s, lost her husband of all her adult years on July 3rd. I didn't know about until I read it tonight on Facebook. As I was reading through all the comments, one woman wrote: I am sorry for your loss, it must be tough. It must be tough?!?!?!?!?!?! Are you freaking kidding me???? It must be tough???? I wanted to cyber slap her, but since you can't, I am ranting here. Sorry for my rant. I feel better now...
  2. It was in the town common as I was driving by. I saw all the bridesmaids dressed in lilac matching dresses and the groomsmen in suits. I saw the bride laugh and push her train down from the breeze while holding her groom's hand. I burst into tears.
  3. Steph

    Two weeks ago today

    I am sorry. The pain of losing my one true love is razor sharp as it has only been 3 months. But reading your post brought me back to that horrible day in the hospital when his breathing just stopped. I don't know if anything gets better over time. I just wanted to say I am sorry.
  4. Heather, you are not alone. I am 3 months out and dont know how i am going to move forward without the love of my life. I also wear his wedding band. This just all sucks, the pain is inconceivable, but the world thinks we should be feeling better by now. I don't think I will ever get over losing him, he was my everything. Private message me if you ever need to talk to someone in the same place as you at the same time.
  5. Steph

    Nobody gets it

    Jessm1, I am so sorry you are in the same black, lonely and sad place that I am. I was actually asked today if I was dating yet. WHAT????? I can barely breathe some days and I cry at the drop of a hat if my mind is not occupied. I am losing the home we built together, everything is still falling apart in my world. My patience for stupid people is nonexistent at this point, but i know that they just have never known real grief, they are the lucky ones. Please know that i am where you are right now, and if there is a way to private message on this site, please feel free to message me. We might be able to lean on each other since we are in the same awful place, surrounded by blissful ignorance.
  6. Steph

    Nobody gets it

    Thank you all for understanding. It wasn't supposed to be like this! We were supposed to grow old together. I am just so sad, and it doesn't seem to get any easier.
  7. Today is the 3 month "anniversary " of the saddest day of my life. Why do people keep giving me advice when they have never been kicked in the gut like this? They know nothing about this. I understand they are just trying to help, but stop it! I know anything you say comes from ignorance and you have never felt this crazy shit, so just stop!!!
  8. Steph

    Share them with us.

    I know I already posted this pic, but it really is my favorite of us.
  9. Steph

    progress purging

    Purging sucks. I have to do it now and it isn't ending with one box. I am surrounded by him here and I love that!!!! I come upon an item and burst into tears. Yes, I have become a puddle. This is completely unfair and sad.
  10. Thank you Hikermom. I feel so alone right now!!
  11. Here is our wedding photo. Yes, we were target shooters. We loved to do that together. We did everything together. I will never love anyone like I loved him - completely.
  12. Thank you Wheelerswife and Abitlost. Losing someone so close makes all those other "hard times" that I have had look like a walk in the park. This is like someone keeps hitting me in the stomach and chest with a baseball bat. Thank you for your comments. Nothing helps, but it is some comfort knowing I am not alone in this awful place.
  13. This thread is helpful. My DH passed on March 11, 2018. I can neither afford nor maintain our home alone. I could sit there until the money is all gone and the bank forecloses, but the house is the one and only card I have to play, so I have to play it while I'm a little ahead of the game. So the house is going on the market hopefully beginning of June. I plan on taking chunks of flowers from his gardens and starting a garden in his honor where ever it is that I land. I am so sad about having to leave the home we built together, but there are no other options. It is all an emotional roller coaster, but I am right there with you in the front seat!!! I am sorry for the both of us, and for everyone that is going through this horribly dark time and those that have already been there...
  14. Thank you Leadfeather. Nobody is more sorry than me. :(
  15. My soulmate passed away on March 11, 2018 after battling cancer for almost 2 years. We lived together for 13 years and were married 5.5 months. I am numb at this point. Work keeps me busy during the day and my weekends are spent trying to get the house ready to go on the market as I can't afford it alone and can't maintain it alone. I never thought that I would be alone again, he was my best friend, my everything and we were always together. But here I am, at 46 years old, alone and shattered. Yes, he is still with me, I can feel him and we talk all the time in my head. Not sure if I am going crazy because I never believed in any of that stuff before, but here I am... I am not sure where I will be mentally once the house that we made beautiful and perfect is gone, it is killing me to have to sell it, I am surrounded by him there. But he understands why I have to sell it and he tells me he is staying with me no matter where I end up. Maybe being in a new place will be almost a new start, even though I would give anything to not have to make a new start and have him back. Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself and tell everyone I am glad I happened upon this site yesterday. Somewhere I can go and not feel so alone and connect with others that actually understand what I am feeling, even if I don't.

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