SadSue

So sorry this happened to you. I think from your post though that minus the pain and surgeries that it could make you reevaluate what you want for your future. That could be a good thing. I know a serious illness made me do that 15 years ago and it was a blessing in disguise. I was able to spend more quality time with my DH. Also it gave me the time to grieve without the pressure of work etc. Hope you start feeling better soon...

So very sorry for your family's loss. Having a daughter and grandchild myself, I can't even imagine the pain you are experiencing. Tragedy has a way of making us grieve for those we have lost, no matter how long ago it is. My heart goes out to you all.." HUGS"

Sadarra, I don't feel you are in anyway a doormat. You probably feel the need to try to make everyone happy, without rocking the boat( a people pleaser ). There is nothing wrong with that if it makes you happy doing it, but that doesn't seem to be the case. So now it is time to rock that boat. Talk to your guy, because if you don't then the resentment you feel could totally ruin your relationship. Your needs are just as important as anyone else's are. You and he will need to show a united front to the children, so they know things need to change. Chores could be rotated and depending on ages, let them cook one or two days a week, or whatever it takes to make you happy. As a people pleaser most of my life, I had to learn to say no and step back sometimes even when I was afraid of the consequences of doing so. But it made me a happier better person in the long run, and made others around me happier. Strange how that happens. So make a date night to talk about what you need to achieve happiness in your situation. Go to dinner or a walk in a park, but away from the house and disturbances of any kind...I wish you success and happiness...

As said before by others, speak to NG and then call a family meeting. They are all capable of helping out. Assign chores, let them cook something each week, but you only cook one thing. That is why they make peanut butter and jelly. Trying to please everyone all of the time only leads to resentment and dissatisfaction within your relationship. In the long run, I think the children and the NG will understand the need for change, as you will become much more than a housekeeper and a cook. Your needs are as important as anyone else's in the family. Good luck.

There is a lot of truth in the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". In my experience most women tend (not all ) to be emotional thinkers in matters of the heart etc. Most men tend ( not all ) to be logical thinkers. Give the guy a chance to see where it goes. Everyone handlers grief in different ways. He may only need to be shone the "light".😃

It's never to late to start a new career..do what you need to do to make you happy and financially secure. Sometimes when there is restructuring in a group Doctor's office, especially if bought out by a big conglomerate, they try to get rid of the older employees because they can hire new ones usually at a much cheaper salary. I'm not sure if this is the case with you. Lifeis to short to be stuck in a job you don't enjoy, as we all can attest to. Consult with a college counselor to see if they can guide you to something that you would be interested and happy doing. Best of luck Rooshy!

Driving in the car seems to be the worse time for me...A certain song or a certain memory will always set me off...Now I try to smile because I think it's my loved one sending me a message...