shayla

I get it. I'm almost at the 4-month mark. I have a friend that I am thinking should become an ex-friend. She keeps comparing my husband's death to her divorces and trying to tell me what I need to do to get over it. Most recently she told me, I should get rid of my husband's pillow because it isn't good for me to be sleeping with it still. It doesn't make me sad, I feel comforted having it there. I always stole his pillow every time he got out of bed, so it's a small thing that makes me feel normal. Some of the things she has said make me want to scream. I'm really trying to disengage from her at this point.

I can relate to this. I just lost my husband almost 2 months ago. We were married for 15 years. He was only 34 years old. I'm having a hard time dealing with the unfairness of it too. He was supposed to walk our daughter down the aisle on her wedding day and he was supposed to teach our son to be a man. I wish I could say something to help but just wanted you to know I get it.

If you can afford to I think it is a great idea. I've been a stay-at-home mom all of my kids' lives and after my husband passed they were really worried about me leaving them to work. Now that I have most of the financial stuff figured out, I realize I don't have to get a job right away. I plan to take this first year to spend with my kids and figure out what I might want to do. I will probably try to get a degree of some sort. I talked with my counselor and he agreed that now isn't the time to start classes or a new career if I can avoid it. I hope everything works out for you.

Thank you Mike. I have been trying to let people help, unfortunately, I have already discovered that some people don't actually mean their offers of help, which makes me hesitate to ask anyone else. I will try to remember that others are genuine.

June 27th I lost my husband in a work accident. I don't have all the details yet since it is under OSHA investigation and I was only told the basics when the maintenance secretary came to my house to tell me he was being taken to the hospital. My husband was an electrician and worked at a production facility doing maintenance work. That day he had been installing new lights and got electrocuted and then fell about 25 feet. People keep asking me things like why was he working with the power on and why wasn't he tied off and telling me the rules on such things. I wonder the same but I just don't know. OSHA says I will receive a full report once they finish their investigation, but that could take up to six months. I did get his medical records and that answered some questions I had and helped with some guilt. I had texted him and was worried I got him electrocuted. but the time the ambulance was called was before my text and when I got his phone back he never saw the last text so that helped some. I was texting to remind him he needed to leave a bit early to make a Dr.'s appointment that day. I don't know if he got in a hurry to finish up so he could leave and made a mistake or what happened. I hate thinking he died alone and my kids and I didn't get to be with him, but after reading the medical records I realize he was gone probably before he hit the floor ( I really hope so) and that everything that was done was in an effort to bring him back and I couldn't have gotten there in time to say goodbye. My husband and I had two kids a girl who is 15 and a boy who just turned 12 last week. His birthday was really hard being that close to his father's death, but we made it through it and made the best day we could for him. Everyone keeps asking how we are doing and I just kept saying ok. The truth is I don't know how we are doing yet. We are here doing the best we can but we are mostly just trying to get through the days right now.