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arhillis

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  1. arhillis

    Last name change

    As far as I'm concerned, I am still a 'Mrs.' There was no breakup or divorce. I will be keeping my LH's name for the rest of my life. We are eternally linked to one another. We were married 14.5 years, and he will always be my children's father. If I ever remarry, I will be using a hyphenation of the two married names. Well, I might change my mind later as time goes on, but this is how I feel now...
  2. My viewpoint is that the whole point of sex is procreation. It is the object of the game for the male to impregnate the female. The fact that it is pleasurable for both parties is simply secondary. The pair bonding happens so that the two of them will stay together and take care of the resulting offspring, hopefully. That is how I am going to explain it to my children. If no one had sex outside of a committed, long-term relationship. I am luck in that the men in my church have taken my boys under their respective wings and are helping me guide them through adolescence.
  3. arhillis

    Getting married

    "Oh, I would love to help plan your wedding" = "I want to take over planning your wedding as if it were my own". It sounds like you need to be a little more direct with her.
  4. arhillis

    Missing the family feeling

    I miss the "family feeling" as well. My FIL passed away almost a year before my husband did. We used to live next door to my in-laws. I miss getting together for special events or just having them babysit the kids while hubby and I went out. A few months before FIL passed away, he and my MIL had to go into a nursing home. I really miss being part of a clan.
  5. arhillis

    The Lack of Sympathy

    I've gotten to the point where I really don't like hanging out with other single moms (divorcees and the never-marrieds). They say really insensitive things like, "Well, at least you don't have an ex to deal with."
  6. arhillis

    This really happened.

    I also had to take my husband off the ventilator. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. But it was almost a spiritual experience watching him die. What really upset me is that about 10 minutes after he was declared dead, his sister told this really embarrassing story about him. They never really got along, and so it almost felt she was just adding insult to injury. What really got me was during the process, she kept talking about how much she looked up to him. When he was alive, he actually couldn't do anything right by her. Sorry to dump all this, but it's just so frustrating that everyone else thinks she's so wonderful when she's really quite cruel.

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