ChrisV2.0 replied to Sc39's topic in Newly Widowed (1 day to 6 months)I too have been "advised" to move on by people who have yet to find what "real love" is, let alone have it torn out of they're chest. It takes everything I have I not to lose my mind when people try to tell me some stupid plan "get over her". I constantly have to remind myself that people are trying to help no matter how clueless they sound to me.
I can say there is always something you can be doing "right" and there is always something you can be doing "wrong" in the eyes of others. It can be something simple or something not so simple. I will agree that self awareness is of massive value and anything you can do to grow that skill is beneficial. Be aware of how people react to what your saying. Sometimes you can learn more from a persons body language than the words they are saying. Communication skills are crutial. Best of luck and I hope you find everything your looking for out there!
I'm so sorry you had to join our club. Of course you are broken...you have lost your wonderful love wayyyyy too young. We have the unfortunate task of having to figure out how to keep living after having our hearts broken. I will tell you that it isn't something we want to do...but we somehow find our way through. I joined this club 9 years ago (in just a few days) and renewed my membership 4 1/2 years ago when I lost my second husband.
How did I do it? One day at a time. Maybe it is your job that will get you through the days. Maybe it is friends. Maybe you will spend time traveling like I did. More than anything, I truly believe my widowed friends were the biggest force keeping my head above water, especially after the loss of my second husband.
Right now...just focus on the day, the hour, the minute. Eat when you can, drink lots of water, sleep when you can, and if you can be comfortable, reach out to anyone who is able to listen. We are here...and we understand.
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It's blindsided me for sure. I still feel the emotions that I felt surrounding that fateful morning every single day, but most intensly in the morning when I'd normally be getting her up or helping her with something.
I'm sorry we had to meet like this, I'm sorry for your losses, I can't even comprehend that. Thank you for sharing that, I know that it's not an easy thing to do for everyone.
My wife was physically disabled for over a decade but it got much worse for about the last two years of her life. I agree, expected or unexpected loss is devestating either way. Everything just feels so empty and unfulfilling now.
I have to go now but I'll catch up with you again another time, it was nice to meet you.
I'm new and totally broken, but I guess I'm supposed to keep going forward somehow.