My 3-year old daughter knows that daddy "died" and that he is not coming back. She talks about missing him and wanting to see him, but understands that this is not going to happen. It is so heartbreaking. There are kids books about death and grief for both ages, that can be helpful in explaining and helping them process what this means.
Widower40, I am so sorry for you loss. I am in exactly the same situation (you can see my post a bit earlier than yours). I am 43 with a 6 year old and 3 year old. My husband died at the end of October. I don't think I have processed this fully yet (I haven't moved any of his stuff, feeling it is an acknowledgement that he is not coming back, which is so tough), but I definitely already have days that the pain is unbearable and its hard to breathe or function. On most days, however, I feel I am behind a defense "wall" and that is the only way I can function and try to be present for my children. Grieving is tricky with the demands and needs of kids that age... but it happens in bits a pieces at different times.. My son is in therapy and I have looked into groups for him, which will come when his therapist thinks its appropriate. Take it one day at a time. Don't think about long term plans or even months ahead. That can be too overwhelming and unmanageable.
Hello, I lost my husband suddenly in October after 25 years together. We were together since 18. Moved around the world together. Did everything together, Spend every waking moment together. We never thought we would have children, but then decided to have our first 6 years ago, and 3 years ago our second. Now he is gone, and I don't even know where to begin this life. It has been three months, and I am completely lost. I don't know who I am; I did not exist before our relationship. I have no idea how to make sense of this mess that is my life. I try to be "present" for my children, but my mind drifts constantly. I feel that I should "do things" or try to figure out who this person is that I am living in right now, but I have absolutely no energy. I just want to sit and idle. But I have to go to work, take care of my kids, and put on a mask every day. Its tiring. But then I am also tired of seeing myself not have the energy to start moving. An then there is the constant guilt about the laziness, the mental absence for my kids, and the fact that it has been three months, so why doesn't it get better?