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Widower40

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  • Date Widowed
    12/29/2018
  • Cause of death
    Pneumonia
  • Spouse's Age
    39


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  1. I find that some parts of the day I can't control how I cry. Other times I feel happy and optimistic for life. By nature I have always been a realistic optimist. At work I develop 3-5 year strategic plans, so looking forward is always something I will do. I sometimes force triggers... watching a video of her or looking at pictures of her or listen to certain songs. Those invariably make cry right now. Should I continue to force triggers or should I let grief come to me?
  2. Widower40

    Widowed on Dec 29, 2018

    Anyone else go back and forward between grieving and then thinking about how will I build my life again for the future? How can I make my kids happy? Will I be happy? Will I ever be in another happy marriage?
  3. Widower40

    Widowed on Dec 29, 2018

    Today it is exactly 8 weeks since it happened. I cried more today than any day prior.
  4. Widower40

    Widowed on Dec 29, 2018

    Thanks PaulZ. So far this board has been great
  5. Widower40

    Widowed on Dec 29, 2018

    I am planning on an in school therapist to come to my elder daughter's school. How is the 3 year old coping? Mine I think is only starting to realize that mommy isn't coming back.
  6. Widower40

    Widowed on Dec 29, 2018

    Thanks Julester3. Good advice
  7. Widower40

    Widowed on Dec 29, 2018

    Yes, I agree... I want to be happy again and most importantly my kids to be happy and grown into strong women. That is a concern...but also having time to grieve properly so I can grow from this and live my life to the fullest. My wife rarely talked about death, but I know she would want me to be happy
  8. Widower40

    Going back to work

    I went to work 3 weeks after her death. Work is very supportive and my boss allows me to leave during the day if I need to. I enjoy my job and colleagues so it helps me. I have had a few tough days where I feel like I am not productive, but that is ok. Sometimes showing up is good enough. From what I read, grief can take months and years. I don't think me staying home any longer would have helped.
  9. My wife died rather suddenly after a 2 day fight with pneumonia. She was 39. I just turned 40 in January. I have 2 wonderful daughters 3 and 6 which I now have to raise without their mother. I think the initial shock has worn off and now I am crying heavily 3 or more times a day. I miss her so much. While before I was running on adrenaline I feel more sad now. I am lucky to have amazing support from my In-laws, my parents and brother and friends so I don't feel like I am doing this alone. Anyone else go through something similar with two young kids? I've read people say that the initial shock lasts 6 months and the real grieving starts then... but I feel as if I have already started the heavy part of it. Anyone else feel the same after 7 weeks? Thanks

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    12/29/2018
  • Cause of death
    Pneumonia
  • Spouse's Age
    39


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