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Widower40

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Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    12/29/2018
  • Cause of death
    Pneumonia
  • Spouse's Age
    39


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  1. Widower40

    Speed Dating?

    That's great Mike. Congratulations.
  2. Widower40

    Went on first coffee date

    So I went on the second date with her. Had a late lunch, walked around and had a coffee. Conversation went great and we have very similar tastes and approach to life. We both said we had a great time and wanted to meet again. In fact, this morning she asked me out. Everything feels different though from when I fell in love with my wife. Granted that was when I was 19 and now I am 40. But I don't have that "feeling" yet. More thinking it rather than feeling it. Question:. For those that have found love again. Did it feel different? Did it take longer to get that feeling? Thanks
  3. Think of your life like a business. Anything you are not good at or want to do...outsource it.
  4. Widower40

    How to handle triggers?

    I got that perspective from the book "Man's Search for Meaning." By Viktor Frankl. There are examples of how even through the worst circumstances, people find meaning in life. If you have the time I recommend you read it.
  5. Widower40

    How to handle triggers?

    In my case, I know my wife would have handled things a lot worse. She would be inconsolable. In that way, my suffering prevented her from suffering. In that way, I have accepted her loss. Perhaps you too may one day feel that by going through the pain is the way you will honor him.
  6. Widower40

    How to handle triggers?

    One question to ask yourself is what would have happened if you died instead? How would Ken feel? What would his life be?
  7. Widower40

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    For some reason, I am only able to relate or connect with women a little older than me online. I'm 40 and I am currently chatting well with a 42, 44 and 46 year old. All have children, 2 separated one windowed. I found many of the women less than 40 want children of their own and want someone that is 6 feet plus 😀. I'm only 5'8" lol
  8. Widower40

    Went on first coffee date

    We have been texting on and off for a weeks. Yesterday, she suggested we meet up for a drink. Hopefully I can schedule something in the next couple weeks. There were a couple other women I met online and planning on meeting up for a coffee...the hardest part is finding any time.
  9. Widower40

    Widowed on Dec 29, 2018

    Last week was hard. I was away from home for a few days and of course Mother's Day was really hard. I'm glad though this week is better.
  10. Widower40

    FWB

    Good perspective. We only became close after my wife's passing. Before that we would meet only a few times a year.
  11. Widower40

    FWB

    I agree. We both talked about it..but I think it is good to always talk through it.
  12. Widower40

    Widowed on Dec 29, 2018

    Yesterday was 4 months. I didn't feel as sad as I thought I would. I actually felt good for most of the day and cried a couple of times after I cleaned up my table and saw the receipt for the medication we bought just before she died. Definitely more optimistic than I was two months ago
  13. Widower40

    FWB

    So my wife's best friend has been helping me go through the grieving process. She always checks in to see how I am doing and we see each other every week or two. Over the past few weeks we have been getting more intimate. We haven't had sex yet, but may go there soon. I'm not looking for a relationship now, more just some fun. We both seem to be ok with it. Anyone else gone through this? I don't plan on getting into any serious relationship for a while.
  14. Widower40

    Trying to make sense of dating again...

    Right now not looking for a relationship but more something casual or FWB. I'm about 3.5 months out and miss the company and physical connection.

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    12/29/2018
  • Cause of death
    Pneumonia
  • Spouse's Age
    39


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