Lewis

It has been 13 years for me. YWBB was a life saver at times for me which is why I keep Widda.org alive. Be sure to check out the old YWBB posts in the Clubs Directory. I hope things go well for you as you remember those rough days years ago. 

Hi soloact! Be sure to check out the Old YWBB Website in the Clubs section. It is just viewable but all the old posts are there.  -Lewis

Hi CJF, glad you found the site! Unfortunately there is not a lot going on here. With Facebook and other ways to communicate, the site does not have the traffic it once had. Not to mention that the site was down for about a year which really messed things up. Anyhow, I am glad you found the site and its valuable history of posts. Be sure to check out the former YWBB posts where you can view all the posts from the old site!

You can find the old YWBB under the Clubs link above to view these and all other posts on the old site.

16 hours ago, hachi said:

Unique and Devastating Loss (by WifeLess)
With the death of our spouse (which here includes fiancée, significant other, partner, etc.), we grieve the loss of so much more than someone we merely loved or were close to, like a parent, grandparent, sibling, friend or pet. We grieve instead the loss of: The one we loved most deeply, cherished and felt the very closest to. The one we swore commitment to in that unique human bond of marriage, which many consider sacred. The one we shared the ultimate partnership with to live as one and perhaps bear children with. The one who embodied our true sense of home. The one who was our best friend and who was to be our companion for life. The one we confided in, depended on and trusted most. The one who really knew, understood and accepted us as we were. The one we felt safe and protected with. The one we shared private moments and intimate feelings with. The one we mated souls with.
But it is not just that this most precious person has been torn from our life, as unbearably heartbreaking as that alone is. With the death of our spouse, and only of our spouse, many additional profound losses must be grieved as well. For we also suffer: The loss of who we ourselves were while with them.
The loss of the couple we were once half of. The loss of the life partnership we once formed. The loss of the husband or wife role we once embraced.
The loss of the life we once lived. The loss of the plans we once made. The loss of the dreams we once shared. The loss of the future we once envisioned.
Amidst all this, we are also suddenly confronted with many hardships we never expected to face at this point in our life. Besides financial survival, increased domestic burdens and perhaps single parenting, additional challenges less apparent to others but all too real and terrifying to us. We must now find it within ourselves: To create a new identity. To redefine our role in life. To establish a new connection to the world. To build a new network of social relationships. To discover a new sense of purpose. To formulate a new set of goals. To decide on a new direction for our future.
And we must accomplish these without dishonoring our former life, but while suppressing bittersweet memories of that life, so that they not hold us back.
Memories of happier times mostly, but also those of our spouse’s death, either sudden and shocking or after prolonged illness. We must further endure the feelings of guilt and disloyalty that follow us as we attempt to forget and move forward, but with our heartstrings tied so tightly to the past.
And all these tasks must be taken on at the lowest possible point of our life in the worst state imaginable. When we are the weakest, most vulnerable, most insecure, most isolated, most heartbroken and most emotionally exhausted we have ever been. Without that one person we long ago became accustomed to relying on to help get us through life's greatest challenges. The one who, just by being there, would have provided us emotional comfort and moral support to draw upon, as well as the strength and confidence we need to complete those tasks and so much more. But now we face all this alone.
Profound indeed is the death of our spouse. Unique and devastating. For nearly all of us, much more catastrophic to our life than the loss of any other.
And truly comparable, many of us widows and widowers often feel, to one other death only. Ours.

Thanks for reposting that!

On 8/26/2022 at 3:36 PM, hachi said:

I remember the letter that wifeless wrote years ago. It was brilliant. I'm sure someone must have it. 

I wonder if it is on the old ywbb? I'll have to search the archives.

On 8/26/2022 at 8:45 PM, Trying said:

1.  Never say “let me know if you need anything”.  Offer specific things you can do such as “I go grocery shopping every Sunday and can shop for you, I will text you Saturday for a list”.  “I would like to make you dinner, is Tuesday or Thursday better? I can leave it on your front step or stop for a hug, your choice”. 
 2. Keep reaching out and never expect a response

3. Never say “I know how you feel, my dog/grandma/favorite uncle died”.  Instead, acknowledge each person’s unique grief

4. Listen without judgement and don’t offer advice unless specifically asked

5. say the name of the person they lost and listen to the same story for the 10th time like you’ve never heard it before

6. Don’t stop a grieving person in the produce aisle of the grocery store and ask “how are you REALLY doing?” Just say hello and follow their lead.

These are great! Thanks!

Hi Everyone, I will be leading a group of non-grieving people in a discussion about what we as grievers would like for them to know about grieving. I thought it would be good to open the topic in case you had thoughts that I could add to my discussion. These are people who care and want to help, but to not know what to do, say, or how to act around us. Do you have any thoughts to add to my discussion?

Congratulations!!!

It is true!  Click the Clubs link in the menu above and join the club to gain access to view the YWBB posts. 

Thanks for asking Christine. If you want to send via PayPal, you can send to my account at admin@widda.org. Let me know if you still have problems. 

Hello Everyone,

Widda.org has been online for several years now and I am amazed at how many people have been helped through this website! It has been a couple of years since I have mentioned about donating to Widda.org to help keep the site free. At that time many people donated enough to give the website a nice upgrade and to help pay the hosting fees that lasted until now.

If you desire to help pay the fees to keep the site free, now would be a good time to donate. I currently pay the bill monthly, but can get a better pricing if I pay in longer time frames. Any amount you donate is appreciated and will go toward the Widda.org website hosting and maintenance fees. Thank you for your support! If you choose to donate, you can donate here: DONATE

Thank you for your help!!

Lewis

So sorry   (((hugs)))  

You can see the Members List by going to Activity > Search at the top menu, then select the 'Member Search' tab. If you leave the search field empty you will get a list of all users. Otherwise enter a Search Term and click the 'Search Members' button located below the search fields.

I vote to go back to school and get a job you like. Good luck!

Not me. Sometimes I wonder if I even know English, doh! 😂

I have opened the bago forum to public view. Thanks for all your input!

15 minutes ago, tybec said:

Great job!  Can we modify our posts like we did on the other site?  Not  seeing that option.

There is an edit option. You should see the EDIT link under your post. You have 30 minutes to edit it.

27 minutes ago, Mac said:

Thanks so much for all of your work, I really like the new look. I wish that we had more, if not unlimited time, to edit our posts.

 

I was able to extend the time to edit your posts to 30 minutes. Hope that helps!

1 minute ago, tybec said:

Great job!  Can we modify our posts like we did on the other site?  Not  seeing that option.

I'll check the settings.

On 5/1/2018 at 11:05 PM, jeudi said:

I love the way we have an initial in a circle of color if we don't have a picture that we use. I also love the gentle way a reply is posted- it sort of morphs into the post. 

I agree Jeudi. This platform is much more advanced than the previous setup. I am impressed more as I see more of its options.  

Thanks for the reply Laura! I have been crazy busy and did not get a chance to check on this.

Part of the new website design enables everyone to have their own personal blog. There is just a few steps to create your blog. If you hover your mouse over the pencil icon in the top right of this website, you will see a popup that says "Create new content."

If you click on the pencil icon you will see the options: Topic and Event.

Now go to the Blog page by clicking Browse, then Blogs.

Here you will see the option to "Create a blog." Click the "Create a blog" button to enter your blog information.

Entering a blog name is required and you have the option to add a description. After you enter the info, click Continue.

Next, go back and click the pencil icon at the top right of the website. Now you will see the additional option to create a "Blog Entry."

Select "Blog Entry" to begin your first blog. You will need to add a title and content.

Once you have entered a title and content, click "Submit Entry."

Now go back to the Blogs page by clicking "Browse" then "Blogs."

Now you will see your blog listed!

Okay, Maureen, now it is fixed for real.