laurie27

Hello CS. I'm so sorry for your loss. I am at 2 years today when I lost my husband Mark. It's very hard in the beginning, we were in business together so we spent most of our time together. Learning to be alone can be difficult. My quilting hobby helps me a lot as it gives me something else to concentrate on. I also still have my business, so it makes me have to think about something else, which is very helpful. Take care of yourself and drink plenty of water to make up for all the tears that you cry.

Interesting read, thanks for posting. I know some people don't like Hallmark as being too sappy. However, there is a movie from 2014 called "The Color of Rain" and it is based on a true story. I thought it was well done, even the happy ending with a new family of seven all at the altar together. I am at 2 years on February 19th so it has been a sad Valentine's Day for me. Take care everyone!

Good for you for putting the photo collage out, I'm sure your son appreciates it. And you are right if you date someone they have to accept you as you are, with your history. I found a photo of my husband when he was 18 and in the Navy, it was in a box of things from his parents that he never wanted to go through, it gives me a measure of peace whenever I see it, so I put it in my sewing room. Take care of yourself tybec.

Hi, my name is Laurie. I work from home, so life is not totally different for me. However, I used to go out a lot more! I find I am staying in touch on the phone a lot more, like all of you I am sure. I live in Delaware and I lost my husband last year in February to lung cancer, which we did not even know that he had. Reading all of these posts reminds me how hard it was in the beginning...I have gone back and read some of my own posts from back in the beginning and it makes me realize just how far I have come. Hugs to everyone as we go through this crisis. I will keep you all is my prayers. And, yes, like many of you I come to this site more often than I post on it.

Hugs to you SquintyPud. As BrokenHeart2 said, welcome to a group nobody wants to join. I lost my husband a little over a year ago, and somedays are still very difficult. Be grateful you are around people who are understanding. And, this site was such a help to me to know that I wasn't alone and that what I was going through was normal.

Hi Everyone! Well, I got through Christmas. One of my friends is a widow of 15 years and she invited herself over for dinner so that I wouldn't be alone. I knew another friend of mine without family close by and invited her also. We had a turkey dinner. I did the turkey, potatoes, stuffing and gravy and my special Christmas cookies, and my friend did the rest of the side dishes. It was a pleasant afternoon. I didn't do the decorating, however, it did feel like a holiday. Hugs to everyone. Take care of yourselves!

Happy Holidays to you Julester3. Here's hoping you have a nice holiday, thank you for reminding me that we are all thinking of all of us. Hugs to you!

Well, Melissa I'll see how it goes. I can't bring myself to decorate the house this year. I put out a Christmas table runner, and I will display my Christmas quilt, but other than that, I can't even play Christmas carols this year. I am watching Hallmark movies, however, so I am not completely forgetting about Christmas. I'll let you know how it all goes. Take care of yourself...this first holiday. For me it started with his birthday, Nov. 25, then my birthday, Dec. 24, then Christmas, then our anniversary Dec. 27. By January 1st, I will be so relieved!!!!!

Well, here I am in the middle of the first Holiday season without Mark. I got through Thanksgiving...it wasn't fun, but I survived. For Christmas, one of my widowed friends asked me to make dinner, she is bringing some side dishes, so it will feel like a holiday dinner and being busy I think will help. I also asked one of my friends who spent Thanksgiving alone to join us. So instead of a big family dinner where we might have felt out of place we will just be three friends having a nice turkey dinner with all the trimmings. I hope it works out the way we are planning, I have spent a lot of time crying for the last week, but maybe that is good, getting it out of my system. Take care everyone, and have a Merry Christmas!

Maureen, wow, ten years. That's a long time and it sounds like in some ways you have moved on to your new life and in other ways, you have not. I fear that is what it will be like for me. I hate living alone, but I am adjusting to it. I am glad that you are going to a wildlife refuge to try and enjoy the present. Take care of yourself and Hugs to you. Laurie

Wow Toosoon, yes that does sound like exactly what I am going through. I made myself a promise way back in the beginning, I have to leave the house once a day, even if I just pick up a can of cat food, and I have to interact with someone, even if it is just the clerk. Then I added that I had to make someone smile, even a stranger just to say "Cute shirt!". So I am trying to make sure I don't isolate too much, but, as you know, it gets hard some days. Thank you for writing. The solidarity of coming to this site has helped me so much. I have looked back at my own posts and realize how much I have changed in the last seven months and reading other people's thoughts I realize the changes are only beginning. Happy Fall everyone. I'll close with a photo of my Fall Quilt, named "Falling Leaves".

Thank you for the affirmation, at least I know I am not alone, it does get harder. I like the statement, because yes it does feel like I am going through hell, I'll just keep going.

I'm not sure why, maybe someone can help me with this, but it seems harder now. I am crying all the time and I feel more lonely than ever. Even when I am with people I feel so alone!!! It's driving me crazy. Maybe I need to see a counselor or try a Grief Share group. I don't know where to turn. Even my work isn't enough right now. Or is this just a phase I am going through because the shock is wearing off and reality is setting in, just like the title says.

Simon, for what it is worth, I found work actually helped me because it gave me (at least for a few hours) something to else to concentrate on. Now, I work for myself so maybe it is different, after all I don't have to dress up, just go in the office and boom I'm at work, even in a nightgown. But I really mean it when I say the concentrating on something besides Mark was very helpful. I'm at 6 months and there are still days I find it very helpful. Take care of yourself, and sending prayers your way.

Dear Alma, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. It is a very difficult journey, but as @Julester3 said, one minute at a time, one hour at a time and one day at a time. Come back wen you are ready to share your story, we will listen (read) and send you prayers and hugs. Take care of yourself and don't forget to drink a lot of water...crying does dehydrate you.

@sudnlysngl I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you. I have been on blood thinners, you just have to be very careful and you will bruise very easily. Being in the ER that long!!! Wow, can't even imagine. Hugs to you!!!

And for those of you who keep up with things you probably knew that I don't even have any keys...it starts with a push button! Wow, I am having a great time. Thanks everybody! Have a beautiful Sunday!

Okay everyone I got a new car. I decided to do another lease as that is easier for me since Mark and I leased for the last 30 years. You basically don't have to worry about anything major happening because you don't have it long enough. I got a candy blue metallic Eco Sport. I went to the dealer by myself and handled everything just fine.

I can't believe what some people say. I'm so sorry he hurt you that way. Hugs to you and take care.

Wow Leadfeather, that was beautifully said, and so true! Good luck on a journey you never wanted to take simon8164. Hugs to you.

Arneal, your story is exactly why I have never told Ford Credit what happened. I have heard stories where they want the car back, and the lease payments. So...thanks for the story. Trying2breathe, yes I am glad I am not going to do it alone, and good job on the downsizing, that takes a lot of work and sometimes can trigger memories. So Hugs to you.

Hi Peg, I quilt. (I say it that way, since I don't know how to make clothes). Since my concentration is not the greatest, I use all of that at work (I own my own business). So, I do charity work, a lot of it. Like Julester3 said, it is a distraction. For at least a little while the most important thing in my world is "Is that a straight stitch?" It helps me get through some really tough times. And like Melissa said, I cry and because of that, don't forget to drink a lot of water to stay hydrated. Take care of yourself.

Thank you soloact and arneal, I never thought about getting the financing in place before going to the dealer. I was just thinking I had to take care of the car insurance (both the car and the insurance are in his name). Thanks for that, I plan to actually start going to look by next week. I have to turn the car in by September 5, not August. August is the last payment, so after that I can turn it in at any time. This car is a lease, I'm not sure if I should lease again, or just buy a used car. I have a friend who going to go shopping with me, and her husband offered to look at any used car to check it out. Thank goodness for friends.

Hi Peg, I am sorry to welcome to a club no one wants to join. I also lost my husband in February and I agree with Melissa that once the shock wears off it hurts in a different way. I'm not sure if it hurts, just differently. I also feel that coming to this forum has helped me a lot in feeling that what I am experiencing is normal. Don't forget to take care of yourself, keep yourself hydrated, and give yourself a big hug. Laurie

Maureen, Reading your post gives me hope that there will be a life after Mark, I'm probably just not quite ready yet. You sound happy and that makes me happy for you. Enjoy life in Kansas!