Jump to content

Needytoo

Members

0

Followers

457

Content Count

Country

Genre

Zodiac

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    March 8, 2013
  • Cause of death
    heart attack


Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Enable
  1. Needytoo

    My father isn't doing well, need your advice

    You guys are the best!! So sorry soloact for what you went through. Called stepwitch a few times to see when she is available so I can get the photos. She hasn't returned my call. Somehow she will make this my fault. Oh well, she can keep on trying to break my spirit. I too am getting good on cutting out the drama.
  2. Needytoo

    My father isn't doing well, need your advice

    Thanks, I sometimes have doubts what is the right thing to do. I will go down the weekend I was supposed to. My brother is with my Dad, he seems ok minus dementia. Hope tonight I sleep well.
  3. My Mom passed away 27 years ago, and her Palliative Care Nurse married my father within a year of her passing. This woman has been horrible since the first minute I met her long time ago. She made visiting my father horrible. She drove me as well as all my siblings away. We sometimes tried to speak up, but it always ended horribly. When my husband passed, they never came to the funeral and never visited afterward. I have gone a few times down to see them, and I kept my visits short because she always would say something evil. I went through a lot of anger towards all of this, and then one day I just let it go. Now my father has Alzheimer’s and is in a home, and my step thing is complaining she isn’t getting the support from us she needs. We all live at least 3 hours away (I live 6 hours away) and all of us except one of my sister’s work full time. I try not to judge, but this lady has changed all the furniture in the house and has gone on a few trips since my Dad has been put in a home. Again I try not to judge because I do know you need to take care of yourself first. I have heard from old high school friends that she goes around town and complains that I am not supportive. Nice lady. Last night my brother texted me saying she called him, Dad has taken a turn for the worse and would like one of us to come down because she is going on another trip. I work at a college, and we are doing our finals, I am drowning in marking, so my brother is going down. My brain didn’t shut down last night had all of this going through my mind. He is my father, he hasn’t been a great Dad since Mom’s passing he has been a horrible grandparent but what would my Mom want me to do. I am now in a second relationship, and my kids are not the most supportive (slowly changing) and NGs kid are being told by their Mom that their father is a horrible person. I don’t want to compare us with my Dad and stepwitch but what if our kids don’t want anything to do with us either. I know we aren’t as bad but what is the correct thing to do. We are planning on going down Dec. 14 for the weekend but I can’t see us making down earlier. Am I a horrible person? My sister says no we are great people she missed out. Thanks for letting me vent.
  4. Needytoo

    Holiday question

    I am going to try Jamie Oliver's recipe. Hope it works. I am very proud of my youngest son, I hope my oldest joins as well but I can't force him.
  5. Needytoo

    Holiday question

    Parts of me really wish I could go all out Martha Stewart style but I don't have time. I know excuses excuses. There are a few things I would like to try this year. Two things my Mom use to make Thimble Cookies and Scotch Eggs. Both I have failed at before unfortunately my Mother's cookbooks have been thrown out years ago by my Step Thing. NG's Mom gave me her recipe for Thimble Cookies if anyone has one for Scotch Eggs I am willing to try it. My youngest son has agreed to come to NG sister's for Christmas oldest son hasn't given me a response. I am so happy my youngest son is willing to try!!
  6. Needytoo

    Holiday question

    You guys are the best!! I remember in the "early" recovery days thinking of new ways to celebrate the holidays. The second year after DH passing we went to Punta Cana and had a blast. My kids have been very challenging, they have bullied me etc but my youngest is so much better now his brother somewhat better but he has some kind of social oddity. His father did and there is other relatives on that side that have the same thing. I can't change that. I think I will make my big supper Christmas Eve and have NG join us and spend the day with NG's family. My kids need to let me know this weekend if they are coming. I hope my kids will be open to this. I certainly wish our past was different and they got to enjoy Christmas' like so many other people do but we didn't and I can't change that, I just can encourage the change today. On a side note, I am not planning on doing too much baking this year. My baking is being done by a single mom who does it so she can afford Christmas for her kids.
  7. Needytoo

    Holiday question

    Hello everyone, it seems awhile since I have posted hope everyone is doing well. I need some peoples advice. My late husband was very unsocial and we didn't do anything for the holidays. No parties or going to other family members for Christmas. Deep down I hated it, I was always jealous of the people that actually did things with their whole family. I have been dating a great guy for a year and half and his family have made me feel part of the family. My sons very slowly (and I mean very slowly) accepting new guy. Last Christmas I waited till 1:00 pm for my sons to get out of bed. My oldest son didn't buy anyone any gifts and the gifts he got he left most of them in the living room. They ate supper and took off to their rooms. This is how my holidays have been for years. This year New Guy's sister and her wife have invited my sons and I over for Christmas. I told my sons they aren't very impressed. I told them I realize this is different and a bit awkward but to be open to it. So what is the correct thing to do in this situation? Make an early supper for my sons then go to new guys sister's place or do the same old thing feed my sons clean up and sit in the living room alone. My sons are 21 and 25 years old.
  8. Needytoo

    Healing does happen.

    Thank you for posting this.
  9. Needytoo

    That Dam Ex wife

    Great advice Mizpah and Sugarbell. I did do a bunch of reading as well and came to the same conclusion. I will have no contact with the lady. Update on the case, NG's lawyer is going for "parent alienation" charges. This is going to get messy. I do hope this lady finds the help she needs. In two hours I am on vacation and I am so looking forward to it!! She will not change that!!
  10. Needytoo

    That Dam Ex wife

    You are so right Trying, I should have nothing to do with why NG have the right to see his children. The ex is trying to make it look like he has some anger issues, not sure why because before she wanted him to take the kids every weekend. Update on crazy ex. She had called children's aid on both of us and will not let NG have the kids this weekend. She claims the kids are saying things about both of us. There is something seriously wrong with the lady. I can't control her and I don't want anything to do with her. I called my therapist and she thinks the woman might have some borderline personality disorder and recommended some reading for me about the condition. I need to keep away from her, which I will. NG is upset but also realizes he can't control his ex and is going to talk to his lawyer today. We will see if there is anything that can be done. Going to focus on me right now, and get my mind back in a calm state. I am having some possible health issues right now (growth in my uterus) and with everything else, my stress level just keeps going up and up. Thanks, everyone.
  11. Needytoo

    That Dam Ex wife

    My first two husbands did the same thing so I know where you are coming from sudnlysngl but after many hours during my recovery I also realize that I was to blame a bit for that. I didn't speak up for myself. I need to tell NG what I expect and he has mentioned I need to do that as well. I am a terrific person, I am generous but there come to a point that I will not be taken advantage off. If I don't this relationship is over. One problem is NG's ex wife use to take advantage of him so much that maybe he is on guard of being taken advantage off by me. Thanks for letting me vent.
  12. Needytoo

    That Dam Ex wife

    Thank you Azjane and Sudnlysngl for your comments. Part of me totally agrees but off course with my post I don't comment on all the good this man has done for me. I have never had such an intimate relationship with no other human being but I still need to speak up when things are bothering me. Both of us have shared so much with each other. Both of us are under stress from other sources right now which isn't helping our situation. It has been one thing after another and he has been with me through it all. Do I want to feel being punched in the gut again? Hell no!! I am speaking up on what I want and he it totally on board. I was having some electrical issues in my house and a friend had a friend who is an electrician. The guy came over fixed it and wouldn't take payment and asked what my supper plans were, I told him I didn't have any. We went out for supper I thought at least I could pay but he said no and paid the bill. And I told NG all about it. I am not ready to throw in the towel yet but it is on my radar.
  13. Needytoo

    That Dam Ex wife

    Hello everyone, thought I would fill you in on everything. NG and are in a "spot" right now and I can't even describe exactly what is going on. His ex will not let him see the kids without me being there, I said no until they have their legal separation. She is mad, lawyers are involved but they still can't get together to the end of the month. I think NG is upset with me as well but hasn't said it. NG asked me out for our 1st year anniversary. He then proceeded to ask if I was paying the bill. It felt like someone punch me in the gut and ripped out my heart. Guess my face showed the pain and he did man up and paid the bill but the damage was done. My husband and I never ever celebrated an anniversary and I was looking so forward to it and it was a disaster. I did talk to him afterward about it, which was hard. Anyway a horrible weekend!! Standing up sometimes sucks!!!
  14. Needytoo

    That Dam Ex wife

    This week it is one week since NG and I started dating. I love this man but you are all right about the ex she is a manipulating bitch. She is the one that says NG can't have the kids unless I am present well guess what lady I am not until they have a legal separation. If she wants her weekend alone with her new man she will have to let the kids spend time with their father alone. The ex also posted stuff on facebook about me and tagged her son so I could see it. I am calling my lawyer today regarding it. I now have blocked her from Facebook so I don't have to read anything she posts. NG and I are getting together to discuss everything again. He is upset because he feels the kids shouldn't have to suffer because of her, I am so stressed out right now. I need to mediate and do some yoga to call myself down or drink a bottle of wine or maybe do yoga and drink wine. lol Not sure about USA or the rest of Canada but in Ontario the men or the person with the highest salary really gets screwed in divorce even though this woman had an affair and is the reason they split up it doesn't matter. I don't understand that.
  15. Needytoo

    That Dam Ex wife

    They have been separated for 4 years but he never had the money to do the legal separation. He pays her a heck of a lot of money every month but can't even claim it. He does have a good lawyer but the process is so dam slow. The mediator for child care told the "wife" to go seek a mental professional. This woman tags her youngest son on Facebook so all his friends can read about her love affairs. Woman is nuts. I have mentioned that he get full custody. He doesn't think he can do it, I told him it is amazing what a single parent can do. I never thought I would say this at 51 years old but I would love to raise these kids, but this is a decision he has to come to. Also on the other side we do enjoy our alone time. The kids this last weekend were ALOT to handle, the worse I have ever seen but they don't know what to think because their Mother fills their heads. I was able to get them under control and the the neck pain started with the oldest. The ex blames me. I can't win. I do understand what you guys are saying, NG is standing up more for his rights and I am proud of him. I love this man and getting very fond of the kids but I also refuse to have kids who misbehave at my cottage. It is my Zen place and I refuse to have the kids act up like they did again.

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    March 8, 2013
  • Cause of death
    heart attack


The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Enable
×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.