Melissa brown

Hi, I am Melissa. I too am here often but rarely post. I lost my husband 13 months ago. He died from rectal cancer at the age of 41. We have 3 children 19, 17, and 14. This board has helped me tremendously. I am grateful for you all. Life is so strange now. And I pray for everyone's safety. I am a nurse and can tell you that this virus is no joke. Please be safe.

Hi. You are not alone. You are not alone. You are not alone. I tell this to myself every night when I cry myself to sleep. I am so sorry you are here but I am glad you joined us. My husband was 41. He died 10 months ago. We have three children. I and all of us understand your pain and grief. This forum has helped me alot. Please please feel free to reach out to any of us. Julester3 said is right. Day by day. Even hour by hour. Grief comes in waves. Hugs to you and your children.

One step at a time. I agree the smallest things seem so big when you do not have that person here to share it with. I feel your pain, and it sucks.

I am so sorry that you are here. Keep coming back. Im almost 10 months out and this forum has really helped me. Hugs.

Laurie27, that sounds like a great idea that you are having a gathering with your friends. You could easily avoid the holiday, I am impressed that you are making plans. It's my first holiday too and I personally just want it over with.

I like this My three things are 1. I worked my 12 hr shift at the hospital 2. I successfully cooked a meal that my kids ate. And ... 3. I only cried once. Come on guys...who is next???

Alma, thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry this happened. I lost my husband on March 21. He was also 41. He also had cancer. Not quite 6 months without him. We were married for 18 years. And we have 3 children. It's been tough. If you ever want to talk, let me know. Also, I love the tattoo.

Laurie, good job. Same color as my car. Proud of you.

People do not understand, but I have encountered good people with stories that are just as heartbreaking as ours. I am grateful for those stories because it makes me feel not so alone.

Hi Lauren, thanks for sharing your story. I am sorry you are in this position and to what happened to your husband. It sounds like you are doing a great job. It also sounds like you have a great relationship with your in laws. It sounds like a tough decision, but I say to ask them. Maybe allow more time with them and your daughter to be together. Not sure how far you live from them. But they sound like they love you and your daughter very much. Good luck. Not sure I helped much but I believe I would ask. Take care, Melissa

Peg, honestly I cry and spend alot of time at the cemetery on hard days. I also talk to people who are close to me. And I pick up the kids and we go do something. Sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't .. I also come here alot to look around and I usually find something that makes me feel better. Grieving sucks. I never ever thought it would hurt this much. Stay strong.

Hi peg, My husband passed from rectal cancer in march. He was 41. It's been four months and I feel worse now than I did in the beginning. I think I was in so much shock that I didnt feel the pain I do now. So i think you are normal in feeling this way. I am glad you found this forum. It has really helped me. I dont post alot but I come just about everyday to read. It comforts me knowing I'm not alone. Although, I wish none of us had to be here. Hugs. Melissa

I am sorry..for both your loss and your leg. Unfortunately I know nothing about the military benefits but hope you find some answers. Only advice I have is to take it one day at a time. Its only been 3 months for me so I'm still trying to navigate my new life.

Oh I feel like a mess. Not brave. I really hate this. For all of us..

What a great idea..congrats on all these accomplishments. I am 3 months out and the biggest thing I've done since losing my husband would be buying a new car by myself. My husband always handled these kinds of things, but this time it was just me and I even managed them to go down on the price.

Kflex, I just read this. Wow. It sounds like me. Same thoughts and everything. How are you doing today. I'm only two months out.

A little over two months. I feel worse. I always cry. My son graduated high school today. What did you all do in the beginning to help the pain and grief?? Melissa

I have to agree with the fact that it's getting more and more difficult. It's been two months for me and I still cry multiple times a day. Right now, I find it hard to believe that it gets better.

Does anyone live near me.? I'm in Greenville, south carolina

@Newtothis I like to blab on here and know that you have support. I often too have times like that with my children. I literally feel like I have to learn to parent again. Damon handled the discipline and now that he isn't here..I have to learn to handle these situations. Not sure if it's working yet but it's a definite a work in progress. And @Julester3 you seem to always have good advice. So thank you.

@RyanAmysMom I am about to watch out oldest graduate next week. And I am so dreading it. This is the one thing Damon wanted to be here for and he won't be. So I am really struggling with this.

Hello. So here I am now ..two months and 6 days since Damon passed. And I feel worse than before. So far he has missed a prom with my oldest, a new licensed driver and his first car for my middle one, and the goal winning point scored by my youngest in her soccer game. We have missed Easter, mothers day, lots of end of school year events and my sons high school graduation next week. These are all supposed to be happy times but I dread them. I've gone back to work and quickly realized I need to work part time. I work as a RN and taking care of people is not what I want to be doing. I put in everything I had to help damon and wasnt able to keep him alive. So my question is , does this get better? Or am I going to feel like I'm just existing for the rest of my life? Sorry for this being so long..just need some encouragement.

@virgo has does it feel to be back at work? And I am glad you were able to stay home. I definitely felt I needed time but then realized I spent that time crying while my kids were at school. I took off two months and returned last week part time. @RyanAmysMom I agree with you..I have a hard time sitting around. But since damon passed two months ago, I now feel like a walking zombie. I want to be my busy old self but I don't know if I will ever feel better.

Hi Gemma, I am sorry you are here. I lost my husband almost two months ago. He was 41. I'm still very much trying to navigate through this nightmare. I get up and get outside and walk and read alot on this forum. All of those seem to help. And like what was said, you are not alone. Just knowing that has helped me through this darkness. Hugs, hugs, and more hugs!

@RyanAmysMom I am going through the same thing. My husband passed 7 weeks ago. My oldest turned 18 in February. And its alot to understand. I haven't gotten any benefits yet but I hope they are on the way. I have to call and ask the same questions you have because I could not think of anything to ask when I was there...thanks for the reminder.