gretchen437

I've been pretty lonely missing my DH lately, but mostly loving living in my new town close to family. Only problem is the unexpected drop ins. For example today I was attempting to get a quick O before my kids got home from school when the door bell rings with my MIL at the door. Quickly throwing on a pair of pants and slamming my comp closed and rushing to the door took me a bit longer than expected, leading to a disappointing look on my MIL's face when I opened the door. :-[

Spending my saturday watching Inspector Lewis and glancing over my newly created online dating profile. Watched adventures of tintin with my kids for movie night and will hopefully get some cleaning done before bed.... I lead an exciting life.

My DH spoiled me rotten There are too many to list. He used to love to surprise me with trips. I use to wake up with him telling me we had to leave for the airport in a few hours to head on a trip to washington d.c., seattle, new orleans, etc. After I had been dating him for about a month or so, I came home from work (we moved in together almost immediately) to find him next to a huge bouquet of flowers and he proceeded to recite a list of all the things he loved about me. I am so sad I can't find the list anymore the only thing I remember is that one of the reasons was the fact that I ate like a wolverine :-\ .

Thank you all for the kind responses. Things have just been so chaotic that I really appreciated the supportive words. Thank you all for being so wonderful.

So recently I graduated from law school. I am scheduled to fail the bar exam in a few days (not pessimistic but rather everything else proves I will fail). About a month and a half ago, while extremely physically ill, I made a big decision. I am returning to my hometown(isn). When I got married and moved away, I swore I would never return. Now I am and the regret is sinking in. I have always managed to take the hard route through life. I got married at 18 to my amazing husband. I had two children while traveling around and completing my undergraduate degree. My husband died half way through law school. I have trudged along, and completed my law degree while raising my children after he died. At graduation, I for once was on a normal path. I had a post graduate job lined up, and I was making connections in the legal community. For some reason I decided to throw it all away. I decided to move far away with no job lined up and very little possibility for a new job. I am becoming increasingly nervous about leaving the home my husband and I spent so much time together in. The home where he died. At the time I decided to make the move, I was sick. Since my husband died I have barely gone a few weeks without some form of illness taking hold. I was miserable in my job and I hated the career path I was on. I also hated wasting so much of my life commuting back and forth between suburbia and city amenities. My hometown has plenty of family (none of which I particularly get along with, but that's a different story). The choice was made for two main reasons: my children and my health. Since my husband died, I have bonded very closely with my children.I would do anything for them. In spite of myself, I must admit my hometown is a decent place to raise children. It has wonderful parks, community events, low crime, and great schools. We are moving into a house from an apartment, which includes us having a yard for the first time in a loooong time. Health wise, the community promotes a healthy lifestyle for the family through fitness classes and extremely fresh produce. I wrote this up largely to help remind myself why I made the decision, but also ask for other opinions. I have essentially rejected financial and career security for the unknown. Right now the unknown is scaring the shit out of my logical self.

This is a bit off topic, but I love to get lost in a tv show when I am having a tough time. Just curious of (A) what shows anyone else loses themselves in and/or (2) what show would describe your life. (A) Poirot, Death in Paradise, and Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries (B) As a socially awkward and clumsy girl I can relate to Miranda. Also, Golden Girls can be really relatable as all the characters were formerly married and are dealing with their lives with friendship and comedy.

I love this thread One of my tips is find the clearance section of your local grocer. Grocers often fill it with discontinued or overstocked products. You will notice cycling of clearances. Health food products often go into the clearance section a couple months after the new year (when everyone has given up on their diets). Coffee and tea often are put on clearance during early summer/late spring. Always check the expiration dates though in case it is close to its end.

@keeptrying I posted this as off topic, but like so many have said this is not off topic for many members. This decision greatly affects my personal journey of grief. As a bisexual woman the fact that I could legally marry whomever I love in my Chapter 2 is a great victory. I know you didn't mean to offend, but this decision positively impacts so many members as the government has finally recognized our right to choose who we love. I am sorry if this reply upsets you, but I have found it best to just avoid threads I know will upset me. Best of Love.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/27/us/supreme-court-same-sex-marriage.html This is a historic day for love. Hopefully we can stop hurting people for simply loving people now.

Sitting on the dock for sure Taking a risk OR playing it safe?

Everything so complicated right. My health, studying, the kids, and everything else has caused me to make a rather rash and illogical decision. Among the most frustrating problems of the decision is, as I opted to marry my husband young, I never bothered to come out. A handful of people know about my preferences and prior relationships with women, but now more than ever I am even more guarded about it, but at the same time I feel too old to live a lie. Sorry just needed a bit of a rant.

I am yet again struck down sick causing me to fall further behind in my studies. I am only half way through the material my comrades have covered. I would like to catch up but I have neither the passion nor energy to fight through the elaborate tapestry of bullshit that is contract law today.

"can you get married so I can have a dad" also because I told him when you die you become part of everything around you, everything in nature, he regularly says hi to trees saying "hi daddy" and when it snowed this winter he ate some snowflakes and said, "I'm eating daddy"

I'm currently reading Nora Webster and enjoy it so far.

Bridget Jones Mad About the Boy by Helen Fielding Good Grief by Lolly Winston Widow Waltz by Sally Koslow Up at Butternut Lake by Mary McNear Widow's Guide to Sex and Dating by Carole Radziwill I never much cared for nonfiction widow books. The above listed books are just some of the widow fictions I have read. I really loved by Bridget Jones and Good Grief.