My husband came down with a stomach virus on Mother's Day and I got it the next day. But I got well in 24 hours - he did not. We took him to the ER once and they gave him fluids and sent him home. Two days later he was still throwing up so he was admitted to the hospital (Veterans Affairs Medical Center). That was a Friday and early Sunday morning he aspirated on his vomit and coded and never regained consciousness. I had to have life support removed that Monday afternoon. Chris also had myotonic dystrophy that contributed to his esophageal muscles not being strong enough to stop the aspiration. He was 50. We knew the MD would likely cause him to have a shorter life but we thought we had a good 10-15 years at least.
The next day after meeting with the funeral home I went downtown to the VA office to see about possible benefits. I stepped off a curb, turned my ankle, went down in the middle of the street and couldn't get up. Turns out I broke my ankle and leg. One week later I had surgery on my leg and I still can't put weight on it. It's my right leg so no driving either. So basically Ive been stuck at home.
Chris left a lot of things undone - several IRAs from previous jobs didn't have beneficiaries and he didn't change the beneficiary from his mother to me on the small life insurance policy she took out on him as a teen but that we had been paying on for the last five years or so. I am still waiting to see what happens with that.
Most of the time I do ok. The thread on public triggers hit home. I went to the movie Friday night with my best friend and the song at the end made me just lose it. I just wish I could get in the routine of whatever my new normal is going to be. Chris and I had already wanted to move back to where we used to live (about an hour away) so I am definitely going to do that as soon as I can.
If anyone has experience navigating the military benefits please reach out - I would love some feedback!
Thanks for having me... although I know we all wish we weren't in here.
