Hello Saraj,
I am new here, lost my boyfriend (yep not married) a little over a month ago. He died of a cardiac arrest after a run, he was 28. He had no health issue, the autopsy revealed nothing. His heart just stopped, it was a sudden death.
I remember the week he died, he went to Dubai for his work, and I remember not feeling well. I told one of my colleagues at work that I had a very bad feeling. He dismissed me, made fun of me and of my paranoia, and eventually, everything went well, his plane didn't crash...
But 4 days later, he died.
And I knew it.
When I met him, he told me that he used to play rugby a lot when he was younger (almost became professional). My first thought, but I never shared it with him, was that he could have a cardiac arrest anytime, as we see soccer players die suddenly while still playing. And it never left me. The last time I saw him alive, it was in Paris (he was living in London, we were in fact living between Paris and London for work), he was on his way to take his train back to London and I said to him "please don't die" he said "I can't promise you, but I will do my best", and then, well. He died.
We were supposed to go to a wedding together and he was stressed as he didn't know what to wear. He wanted to match with me, so when I told him that I bought a beautiful black dress, he said "fair, that's my favourite colour, I hope you don't mind we match" (well, we were a hell of a match already anyway ), it was the last text I ever received from him, and I thought "both of us dressed in black, we are not going to a wedding, we are going to a funeral". And that's what we did instead.
I totally get what you say. I had a very very bad feeling two weeks prior his death. Even when I met him... I try not to get obsessed with these thoughts, but I am still in awe when I think of it.
I am so sorry for your loss, and so sorry for everybody's loss.
Marie.
