Lmsmdm

Putting feelers out for a Bago in Florida, Orlando…..October ish…..please reach out if interested, and we can add you to the FB group

I remember back in the day on YWBB….there were a few threads about which was worse. A sudden death, or a diagnosis knowing it was fatal….the conclusion was they both sucked… My sisters husband has been diagnosed with an unoperable liver cancer that has spread. For me, knowing is worse. My sister and I have a love hate relationship….there are 6 years between us, and in her eyes I am the village witch and idiot. I’ve tried to tell her I understand being scared….Big Guy almost died 3 years before he did…had 1-1/2 years of care taker in that mix. She gets angry if I try to talk, so I stay silent. Meanwhile, it has stirred up so much emotion in me….I’m back to the beginning (after 12 years) with emotions about my man….beyond empathetic and worried for my sister, knowing she has no clue what’s about to hit. It just sucks!

His name was Michael, AKA Big Guy. I lost him 11 years ago 7/1/11….he would have been 60 today…. Thanks to Widdas gone wild bago I started sending up Chinese lanterns for his bday with friends my second year…..the last 4 years weather has not allowed it to happen on the day, but I still do it….. maybe he’s telling me to knock it off? Life is good today, But I stil like to honor his special day, especially since this year would be the year he would have to go, as he’d be 60, and I can’t be with anyone that old 😎…..I just turned 28 when we’d met, and he was 34…..told him he was gone at 35 because I couldn’t date anyone that old…..it was our joke every 5 years

The old YWBB archive is here too!!

I’m so glad we’re back in business!! Thank you Lewis for all of your hard work!!

Coming up on 10 years myself.... it’s surreal at times.

My Pop died 11/23....as much as I hate to say it, it was a blessing. He was in a lot of pain, and dialysis had taken its toll.... still, I am heart broken. Now here comes the shitty part. I want to see his will....I have no contentions of disputing anything....I just want to see it....how do I ask my step mother without stepping on any toes? Just putting this in writing makes me feel like a giant piece of shit...she is a good woman, and she took phenomenal care of my daddy....in their weird way they loved each other....

This poem is stunning. Just wanted to share it. It is used in the Reform Jewish liturgy, as an optional reading, before Kaddish ”Every once in a while, a poem or song is so well constructed, so clearly conveys the authors meaning and is so precisely expressive that it becomes something of an anthem. The poem below, Epitaph, was written by Merrit Malloy and as one of those poems, has become a staple of funeral and memorial services…for good reason.” Epitaph - By Merrit Malloy When I die Give what’s left of me away To children And old men that wait to die. And if you need to cry, Cry for your brother Walking the street beside you. And when you need me, Put your arms Around anyone And give them What you need to give to me. I want to leave you something, Something better Than words Or sounds. Look for me In the people I’ve known Or loved, And if you cannot give me away, At least let me live on in your eyes And not your mind. You can love me most By letting Hands touch hands, By letting bodies touch bodies, And by letting go Of children That need to be free. Love doesn’t die, People do. So, when all that’s left of me Is love, Give me away.

Thanks WoT.....I felt better when I learned all was not lost. Shit he was probably swept out days later ha ha.... he’ll continue to travel with me as long as I’m able.

Bubu27 as I was following the ambulance I was full of anxiety......at 12:48 I became peaceful and calm. I was about 10 minutes behind the ambulance because they told me I was not allowed to drive I had to wait for a ride... I didn’t. That is when he died. I had similar experiences with my grandparents. Days after he died I went on a tour of the house to familiarize myself with the house....you know water shut off, electrical box....furnace. Things he delt with. He was always worried about our oil tank. Wanted to replace it. My first tour I swear there was nothing on it, my second tour, magnets meant to stop a leak. The first several months I would literally wake up happy. Would roll over to talk to him.....then remember he wasn’t there. (We didn’t share a bed the last 3 years due to his illness) I know he spent those early morning hours with me. He just always seems to show me signs when I need them most. I’ve even felt hugs through the years.

Today would be 8 years for our second wedding. Notre Dame yesterday really knocked me down. I was blessed to be able to experience it this past January. Words cannot describe the beauty and the feeling of awe when you stood inside the massive building and the history that surrounded you. I scattered some of his ashes inside. His ashes people. My point.....he’s been thru fire.....yet yesterday, I was so worried about him. Ridiculous I know.

You’re not crazy.... I have had many experiences. They’re here, even when we don’t “feel” it. I have no doubts.

I hate that you’re here again, but you’re right, you CAN do hard things. ((((Hugs)))) Happy to meet you for a glass of wine or dinner anytime you want.

https://www.legacy.com/obituaries/readingeagle/obituary.aspx?n=michael-harbach&pid=191732295&fhid=12113

The funeral is scheduled for Saturday March 9th. 6pm. Klee Funeral home. Address is 1 E Lancaster Ave Shillington PA 19607

I battled Big Guy about changing my name....suggested he change his. That didn’t go over too well ha ha. In the end it was important to him so I did. I still haven’t changed it everywhere, but I’m glad I did. It’s unlikely I will ever change it again, because it’s a pain in the ass.

I’m so sorry for you loss.

My house keeping habits have always been cluttered. I eventually throw things out, but it takes a long time. When Big Guy died I was terrified that this was gonna happen to me.

We have lost a member of our tribe last night. Sadly I was advised this morning that he passed away from stage 4 lung cancer. Michael’s dry, dark, and sarcastic wit will truly be missed. His fiancé may be joining the board, will not advise name as she may want to stay anonymous.

Congratulations! I will assume Mildred is pleased too! 😀 (dear lord I hope that’s the dogs name ha ha)

Hugs to you. Coming up on 8 years, and yes new events can still be hard without them.

The grocery store was a land mine for me in the early days. I’d reach for something I bought for him, and yes the tears would start flowing. Somewhere around the 6mo point, I realized that I didn’t have a meltdown, and it had actually been several trips since one had occurred. It was a chest pounding moment, and I realized I just might be ok.

Thank you all so much for your prayers and support.

The good doctor passed away Sunday morning. He passed of cardiac, however we were advised that his donation will help 30-40 people. My heart is broken watching my mother go thru this again. My heart is aching because I don’t even remember my life with out him in it. He was family long before he and my mother became a couple.

Thank you you all for your prayers. Unfortunately there will be no recovery. We are now praying for brain death as opposed to cardiac so he can donate organs as well as skin, eyes and bone. Cardiac death over 50 can only donate the latter. John is 74. It is heart wrenching to watch my sweet mother go thru this once again.