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lisa best

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  1. Hi everyone I just registered. I am reading all of what you all have written. I am nearing 2 years and it feels like yesterday. My mind takes me to what we would be doing if this had not happened. I smell grills cooking on a cold winter night and think, "We probably would have grilled something for dinner." I sometimes think this did not really happen. Lately I have been thinking that a lot. My emotions are all over the place and from what I read and what my therapist says, nothing is going wrong. You are not losing your mind. I feel like replying, "everything is wrong!" Honestly, if I did not have my adult kids near me, I think I would mover away. What hurts most is that no one can help me. I am trying to turn more towards God . I am wondering what my life purpose is. I have volunteered a few times and plan on continuing, I am an educator and a new grandmother. I am so thankful for what I have and I keep telling myself this, but I have to also say that my spouse was my life. We had so many plans . Sad, lonely, scared ....
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