Missmybecky

My wife was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma, when she was 31. I was her cheerleader even though I knew what was coming. You should do the same, be his cheerleader, even if he is being negative.

I do call them my in-laws, they still are and they always will be a part of my life, and my kids lives. My LW has a large family and I am close with them, even though most of them live 800 miles away. I was invited to and attended their family reunion this summer. I use the term late wife more often than not nowadays but, it is, what it is, I guess.

It's just dating in general that sucks... I finally met someone that I really like and we had been dating for about 6 weeks, getting along great, or so I thought. She was out of town this last weekend visiting her sister and was ignoring my texts. She called me on Monday and told me that she doesn't want to see me anymore with no further explanation and will not talk to me. : Next...

Hi Monique, Yes, I am sure. I used to ask her questions to get a response and start a conversation. I remember sending her a text a month or more ago and she replied "random." to which I replied, I'm just interested in you. This is going to be weird, I am just going to have to get over it. My friends that introduced us are my buddies for over 25 years and she has other mutual friends with me, so I will be seeing a lot of her.

Girls are too! I met a girl through mutual friends last fall, turns out we went to the same highschool but didn't know each other. I was seeing someone else at the time, that relationship ended in March. She is a single mom of 2 and we became friends, mostly because she is fun and likes to do the same things that I do. We started to do a lot of things together and talk and text daily. We get along great, make each other laugh, and are in a similar life situation. She started to get close and then almost as fast she started to pull away. When I tell her that I am interested in her she tells me that she wants to be friends, recently she told me that I was starting to make her uncomfortable, but she led me on pretty heavily. I have a strong feeling that she is looking for someone to "save" her and she keeps a lot of guys on the back burner. So it goes. What sucks is we have a lot common friends and they feel the need to reach out to me and tell me that her and I would make a cute couple.

That is aweome! My DW would never speak about her impending death. I have searched the house looking for something that she may have left, but after 4 years I think that is unlikely. I figure a lot of people on here never even got the chance to say goodbye, so I don't feel bad about that.

When my wife died, my son was 5 and my daughter was 3, that was 4 years ago yesterday. We have certainly struggled during this time, but I have done my best to give my kids a happy and stable family. I have held down the same job, and stayed in the same house, despite an urge to run away from both. We are doing much better now and we have lots of fun. My son is in 4th grade and my daughter in 1st grade and they are very mature, intelligent kids and I couldn't be any prouder of them.

I have tried many things in the past few years, some healthy, some not, but the one thing that has stuck with me and really made me feel happier is being grateful. There is a thing called the GLAD technique and I started doing this every day about a year ago and it has made a huge difference for me and it has become a lifelong habit. You can read about it here: http://mindfulnessexercises.com/g-l-d-technique/ But essentially everyday you think about one Gratitude, one new thing you Learned, one thing you Accomplished, and one thing that gave you Delight. I hope it helps you!

I check in here on Widda and read pretty often but never have anything to say. I finally got around to reading through this thread and found it to be really helpful. I have been dating off and on but I have not yet had a relationship with anyone that felt great or lasted very long. I feel like I am broken, because I know it is because of me that these relationships end. I am really good at being alone and I have my kids to keep me busy. I keep telling myself that I just haven't met the right person yet and I try really hard to not compare anyone to DW but she set such a high standard. Maybe I am better off alone for a while. I have been widowed for 3.5 years and I can honestly say that I am happy once again. Why make myself miserable by repeating this process of meeting new people and then separating?

I am a civil engineer and I do a lot of work on pipelines as I have said previously and this thread continues to crack me up!

I am an Engineer and I design pipelines, what's the big deal?

I do not like those kind of questions, they just seem awkward. Many of the dates that I have had from women that I have met online ask me if I want more kids and if I want to get married again. Those questions right off the bat are such a put off!

Me too! Exactly how I have been feeling for the last 2 months or so, just worn out!

Once again, people on this site have described something that I have been experiencing but thought that no one else would get. I am a civil engineer and I used to have a strong passion for what I do and Ioved the challenges of my career, but lately they are just that challenges and I don't find the joy in it anymore. I frequently find myself wondering what else I could do and then get frustrated when I realize how hard it would be to find something new that would be flexible as my current job to allow for my demands as a solo parent of 2 and pay enough to satisfy my budget. I am not really unhappy per say but I am more like content with my current life and I don't know what to do to change it and in the mean time it continues to proceed as there is no stopping of time and so each week is just like the last and it driving crazy inside.

Me too! I am engineer and with materials when a stress is applied the material begins to yield. I am staring to feel that way, I have been doing this so long that the stress is really wearing me thin. I have learned to manage the stress in my life but it does not go away. I get some help from friends and family but not nearly enough and honestly, the kind of help I need is more of me. I guess all that I am saying is once again, you are not alone.