Maureen, thank you so much for your reply, I am so sorry for what you've been through! I have been in therapy off and on. I'm in the process of getting back in to see someone. I know I need time but time is what bothers me. I want to be married again someday. I feel like I just wasted 7 years on this guy and now I'm going to wait several more until I find someone right. I guess I'm impatient lol. Your reply gave me things to think about though and it makes me feel better knowing people are out there who get it.
Paul thank you for your reply also! I'm so glad I found this forum, it's so hard to talk to people who have no idea what it's like. Even reading the posts here makes me feel better! It's been so long I feel like I should be further along in the process than I am but like Maureen said, it's complicated grief.
Thank you both again!