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Ursula

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  • Date Widowed
    15 February 2014
  • Cause of death
    Drowning


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  1. Ursula

    anybody in Europe?

    Hi TC, I am sorry for your loss. I found a lot of support in this forum when I was widowed in 2014 - I don't come back often here anymore but when I do I see a lot of names I know and it is good to read how well some progress and I always find a common shared thought and see that many of my thoughts are not unique at all . I am Swiss, but I live in the Caribbean at the moment, I was one of the widows who met up with some of our American wid-friends in Amsterdam in 2015 - it was great, very helpful and we all made great connections. I will likely return to Europe in the next couple of years but nothing sure as of yet. All the best for you, somehow life moves on, if we want it to or not...
  2. Ursula

    Enough is enough!

    This has been a while but I hope your sons are doing better 🌞
  3. Dear Lindsay, I am so very sorry to hear of your tragedy. As everybody above said, take it bit by bit, moment by moment, give yourself time. There are no answers to the forever 'why me, us, now' questions that are screaming in your head. I lost my husband over 4 years ago and it does get easier. I never believed that when I was at this early ,your, stage, but it does happen and even if this is no consolation to you now, you can and will get there, one day at the time, in your own time. This place has saved me from going insane and there are some wonderful people here. Try and come here often, it makes one feel less alone with this trauma and people have helped me so many times through so many sleepless nights. All my warmest wishes to you from afar with getting through to see the ilght again and good luck with the rpegnancy and all that comes after.
  4. Thank you for sharing this. I cried my eyes out, so I am probably in the wrong section here... but when he describes how he archeologist- like wants to excavate all the things left behind by his wife...he killed me. I recently found a hair of my husband's in the bedding and it floored me completely. I was going to put it somewhere safe but then decided to just let it be blown away by the breeze..
  5. Ursula

    Share your experience

    Hi, great idea, no there is nothing out there. I hate articles who only include single parents by choice and divorcees, the widowed d onot exist somehow...keep me updated, I' d be interested. our son was almost 2 when he lost his father. He misses a dad. I cannot be a dad. I had to find out that I cannot explain some male physical stuff to him, because I don't know, so I send him t ohis uncles, cousins etc. I worry abuot the effect of my grief on his psyche. I am still stressed and down and cry often, old and new pain and I always wanted to be a happy mum... keep me posted, I will think abuot more stuff...good luck
  6. Ursula

    For those who wanted more children

    yes, I would have wanted more than one child too. I totally understand where you are coming from. I am 47 now and the man I would have actually considered as a potential child father for a sibling for my boy walked out after 2 months and until I meet somebody who might make me want to think like that again , it will be too late. A lot of too lates....
  7. Ursula

    Dating as a widow parent of young kids

    Hi, sorry no advice, but understand how you feel. it IS difficult. I totally messed up my first try at something new after almost4 years....good luck and I would advice to keep him away from the children until he has figured out what he wants and if you want him in the family and if that would be a role for him. My date run suddenly and I had allowed him into our mini family way too soon so more loss for my son who is only 6 now and misses a father...good luck!!
  8. Hello and thank you for saying this. Our son is now 6 , his father died when he was just about two. I constantly worry that I mess him up because I am often a very depressed mum and I cry a lot, old pain and new pain. He is a very sensitive little boy and had to grow up so fast. It still kills me when I see him miss a / his dad and I suppose it always will. It is not fair on our children to be bereaved when they hardly know what life is.. thank you and all the best to you.
  9. Ursula

    Big decisions

    Hello, i think it is difficult to say and depends on what kind of person you are. If moving is something you would rather not do, it may be very exhausting at this moment and you may feel lonely in the new place, where you haven't got a social network. on the other hand a change of scenery may be a positive challenge. Simplified scheduling for you and your son makes for less stress, which is good. I hear you, not easy, but I agree with what Trying said, it should be your decision and yes, take your time and do what feels right for you now. Will your son be going to the same school ? Maybe a change of school could be another criterion that would support your decision, depending on the outlook. Room to roam for boys and dogs is great , I agree. Three months in is so hard. I wish you strength and good luck with whatever you decide. If you do decide to move, get some professional movers, to help you, if you can afford it. Take care
  10. Ursula

    I did it...

    Dear Maureen, Well done, congratulations, you are awsome and an inspiration (we all think that , see above!!). What a great accomplishment. You did it on my son's Birthday! Good luck with the move, and all it entails. I hope you find a new home and a job that keeps you going and content. May the sun shine on you Maureen, you deserve it !! hugs
  11. Hello, I am dusting the bar and washing some glasses, this place has been deserted forever!!!! ouch, hit my head against the discoball, hanging a bit low. I think this place needs reopening, fresh stack as the bar is completely empty, and some guests. This place rocked a couple of years ago...... anybody else???
  12. Ursula

    Sexy Widowed Saturday Night!

    fell asleep taking our boy to bed at 9pm! ...and slept, how exciting can that be??.. and sexy as hell!!
  13. Ursula

    Inappropriate thoughts?

    We are all so different in our needs and defining our comfort zones. There are no inappropriate thoughts, they are only thoughts .... As long as everybody is on the same page, be safe and enjoy. I am 3 years out and can't imagine being with another man yet. I thought then, I want to have sex with this man for the rest of my life, he died a couple of years later... well, when the urge pops up, nothing wrong with a little DIY and no harm done. As for me, one-night stands always made me look for things that were not there and left me feel empty.
  14. Ursula

    Ughhhhh! day and intro.

    MissingAC, I am sorry you had to find us. Those shitty days come and go. Forcibly we kind of get used to them and the pain does round offf at the edges with time. I am soon 3 years out and get these moments, unpredictably. Be kind to yourself, we are allowed to grieve, it means we love and it has to get out, otherwise it eats us up from inside. hugs to you we are here.
  15. Hello, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Married or not, you obviously had a connection with him and that is the important thing. This is so overwhelming, all feelings are 'allowed' . You will find your way and can. Don't give up. This is a good place, you will always find someone who has a minute and a soothing word and that is what we all need. It is easier to know you are not completely alone in this and there are people who can relate and understand. This website has saved me in so many desperate moments, there are some great people here you will see. look after yourself, people will tell you all sorts of things and many may be hurtful, they do that because they are overwhelmed with imagining the unimaginable. hugs to you

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    15 February 2014
  • Cause of death
    Drowning


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