Jump to content

tybec

Members

0

Followers

646

Content Count

Country

Genre

Zodiac

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    Winter 2012
  • Cause of death
    car accident
  • Spouse's Age
    45


Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Enable
  1. tybec

    Valentine's wishes

    Made it through another one single. Still Widowed. I had 5 alone after my LH died in Jan. Coupled up for 3 but alone again. It was easier. Still lonely, but easier. And I can remember all the good ones I had, 27 together. I made Sat. plans to take my son to see Blue Man Group. Eat out. It made the weekend more doable, too. It is so up and down with the emotions, still, but not as long or intense. Getting there all the time. I bet making chocolates special for her was quite an exceptional gift, rifatheroffour.
  2. tybec

    Other Single Moms

    I agree. It is hard. Divorce is a loss, too, but different. I did not have a party and burn pictures and go out with girlfriends when my husband died. I don't bash him or want to name a cockroach after him, like are options for exes.😲 I had a divorced woman bee line to me at a cub scout camp out. It was four months from LH's death. She just knew we could bond because we pretty much had the same thing happen! I have a great widow friend. We worked together 17 yrs. and then her husband died 2 years after mine. She shared she thought she got it (a psychologist) but she was way off until she sadly experienced it herself. Don't have many never married women I know. I will say, 8 yrs. out and my divorced friends are better at helping with the dating aspects of things. They went through that part before me. Still not the same but better. Married friends cannot help at all typically in that arena. They haven't dated for 30 yrs! You expand your network, I believe. I have friends of different ages, now, more and different backgrounds whereas when married with a child, we ran pretty much with the same folks in the same circumstances. Good luck!
  3. tybec

    "Dear Evan Hansen"

    Thank you for your input. That’s helpful.
  4. tybec

    "Dear Evan Hansen"

  5. Was not sure where to put this, honestly, but this was the common category, so.... Thanks for your input and support with my first post LH relationship. Although it did not end how I wanted, I read through my posts here and your responses, and I know it is/was the right thing to end it and move forward. It was not easy but honestly, nothing like the level of losing my mate of 28 yrs. You gave me support, some straight up advice or critical observations I needed to read. I am now 4 months out of that relationship and can say it is getting easier. I am letting go and becoming neutral to him, what I have hoped and prayed for. It was not healthy. Crazy how you can lose yourself, but thankfully, I was never truly lost forever. Just had to be reminded of who I am. On the eve eve of my sadiversary, I am thankful for my life with LH and stronger with the trials. Lots of love to my cyber community. PS. I do have IRL friends, and they are right there with you in the observations and support, now.
  6. tybec

    7 years today

    rifatheroffour, I am right there with you.8 yrs. Monday is my sadiversary. HOW? So long ago. Another world , another life. I, too, have some numbness now. What direction do I go? What do I want to do? My kid has 2 1/2 yrs. I have been so happy to get him grown so he could handle life as an adult, but then he will be an adult on his own. After ending a 3.5 yr. relationship and jumping on line for dating a bit, no interest currently. I don't understand it either. But I do get the feelings your describe. Winter is hard, too.
  7. tybec

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    I let my subscription go and canceled. I had one date, and he was all over me. And then most of the men I talked to went straight to sex talk. And a few I chatted with that seemed like good options were so busy with their lives, I did not understand how they could be on a site. A nice widower but he had 8 kids, 8 kids I say. His mother had moved in to help him care as he internationally traveled for work. Nope, too much. And I had a nice man who I finally pulled from him he was disabled and living with his mother who needed assistance. NO, I was a care taker for 11 yrs. to my mother, the last 5 yrs. by myself. Not ready to take on someone else's mother and him, possibly, too. And then I had the stalker guy that would not take no for an answer. He had lived in the same town I am in prior and contacted me on the site he was here on a Friday and wanted to meet me for lunch to talk. This was after 3 weeks prior I said no thanks, and he kept texting me wanting an explanation, and then I blocked him after still saying no thank you. I spoke to him twice on the phone. Never said anything sexy, just was polite, trying to get to know him. He freaked me out some. A break for a bit. Get my head on straight. Do some things for my health and then I will see.
  8. T2B, Glad to hear that. A person can move out of hospice, so maybe your dad is going to do just that! Hope it has been an easier day.
  9. I am sorry T2B. It’s hard. My SIL lost her mother last week in hospice. A short week. Nothing prepares you for it. You just get through it. Glad NG is trying. Our human nature is to flee or fight. Avoid difficulties. Denial. We have all been there. 😞. Lifting you up.
  10. tybec

    Growing up

    My teen shaved this week for the first time. Trimming when he got his haircut was not enough anymore. And he tied his own tie for a band performance. It makes me smile. Makes me miss his dad from being the one to teach him. But we keep going 😊
  11. tybec

    Celebrating his birthday

    We usually go to a restaurant he loved. ❤️ He celebrated a week! So a little less celebratory. I send his mother flowers as I believe as a mother that is probably the most important day in her life. ❤️
  12. tybec

    Engaged

    Happy dance for you! So exciting! Great news! We were on the old board together. Look at this! HOPE!
  13. I don't know the situation, but what I do know is if folks are not healed, they carry on their wounds and bleed on you. My friend cautioned me from the get go, stating if my NG had not healed from his divorce, recoupling would not make it disappear. I did not truly understand that. "Maybe this man feels by not going along with this ex he will lose time with his children." This was discussed in my last couples session. It was emotional for my NG. The counselor even asked him if he thought he could be with any woman as she deserved/needed given his great fears with his ex and his kids. He could not answer but then ended it a week and half later. As a quote states, Trauma creates changes you don't choose. Healing is about creating change you do choose. Or you tend to relive the same thing over and over again in some form. And no one can change the person but him/herself. So, CW, hard calls on your part. What can you live with? What is he willing to change for a healthy relationship with you?

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    Winter 2012
  • Cause of death
    car accident
  • Spouse's Age
    45


The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

Enable
×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.