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tybec

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  • Date Widowed
    Winter 2012
  • Cause of death
    car accident
  • Spouse's Age
    45


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  1. tybec

    7 years today

    rifatheroffour, I am right there with you.8 yrs. Monday is my sadiversary. HOW? So long ago. Another world , another life. I, too, have some numbness now. What direction do I go? What do I want to do? My kid has 2 1/2 yrs. I have been so happy to get him grown so he could handle life as an adult, but then he will be an adult on his own. After ending a 3.5 yr. relationship and jumping on line for dating a bit, no interest currently. I don't understand it either. But I do get the feelings your describe. Winter is hard, too.
  2. tybec

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    I let my subscription go and canceled. I had one date, and he was all over me. And then most of the men I talked to went straight to sex talk. And a few I chatted with that seemed like good options were so busy with their lives, I did not understand how they could be on a site. A nice widower but he had 8 kids, 8 kids I say. His mother had moved in to help him care as he internationally traveled for work. Nope, too much. And I had a nice man who I finally pulled from him he was disabled and living with his mother who needed assistance. NO, I was a care taker for 11 yrs. to my mother, the last 5 yrs. by myself. Not ready to take on someone else's mother and him, possibly, too. And then I had the stalker guy that would not take no for an answer. He had lived in the same town I am in prior and contacted me on the site he was here on a Friday and wanted to meet me for lunch to talk. This was after 3 weeks prior I said no thanks, and he kept texting me wanting an explanation, and then I blocked him after still saying no thank you. I spoke to him twice on the phone. Never said anything sexy, just was polite, trying to get to know him. He freaked me out some. A break for a bit. Get my head on straight. Do some things for my health and then I will see.
  3. T2B, Glad to hear that. A person can move out of hospice, so maybe your dad is going to do just that! Hope it has been an easier day.
  4. I am sorry T2B. It’s hard. My SIL lost her mother last week in hospice. A short week. Nothing prepares you for it. You just get through it. Glad NG is trying. Our human nature is to flee or fight. Avoid difficulties. Denial. We have all been there. 😞. Lifting you up.
  5. tybec

    Growing up

    My teen shaved this week for the first time. Trimming when he got his haircut was not enough anymore. And he tied his own tie for a band performance. It makes me smile. Makes me miss his dad from being the one to teach him. But we keep going 😊
  6. tybec

    Celebrating his birthday

    We usually go to a restaurant he loved. ❤️ He celebrated a week! So a little less celebratory. I send his mother flowers as I believe as a mother that is probably the most important day in her life. ❤️
  7. tybec

    Engaged

    Happy dance for you! So exciting! Great news! We were on the old board together. Look at this! HOPE!
  8. I don't know the situation, but what I do know is if folks are not healed, they carry on their wounds and bleed on you. My friend cautioned me from the get go, stating if my NG had not healed from his divorce, recoupling would not make it disappear. I did not truly understand that. "Maybe this man feels by not going along with this ex he will lose time with his children." This was discussed in my last couples session. It was emotional for my NG. The counselor even asked him if he thought he could be with any woman as she deserved/needed given his great fears with his ex and his kids. He could not answer but then ended it a week and half later. As a quote states, Trauma creates changes you don't choose. Healing is about creating change you do choose. Or you tend to relive the same thing over and over again in some form. And no one can change the person but him/herself. So, CW, hard calls on your part. What can you live with? What is he willing to change for a healthy relationship with you?
  9. Well this week NG sent me an email. He forwarded a google calendar reminder. With a winking emoji. It was significant as it was the first night I spent with him. Big deal as I had only been with my husband. He knew all that. Chose to not respond. Sept since he emailed me and that was clearing out our things and a response to me emailing him. A male friend said he is playing games. Childress behavior now. 🤷‍♀️ Lessons learned. Thanks for your support. I am reading up on red flags. They were there but I ignored them. It has helped filtering out on line dating situations.
  10. I am so very sorry. And I understand. My wedding anniversary was the 29th of Dec. It's NYE, and I am alone, been sick all week. And my husband died on Jan. 20. The whole holiday season is a mess. Each year I think it is going to get easier. In some ways it has, but grief is still there. Lingering. You had a lot of trauma for a long period of time. So difficult. Wishing you some peace in the pain.
  11. Thank you all. First break up at age 50. yeah. I unfriended him quickly. He changed his status to single in a week, public. That was hurtful. I keep my private because my friends know me. No text by phone since the break up. All through social media, so hid/blocked that. Doing reading on breaking up. Some info says you should be good in 6 weeks. Really? Others say as long as it takes. I am hoping 6 months will get him out of my head. When you have all tied up together and have to untie and make new relationships to fill the gaps, that just takes time, I think. He wants to be friends. Said he hoped we could be single parents to help each other out. Um, no. Getting there.
  12. First Christmas single again. Not the greatest. Got sick and spent 5 hours at urgent care Christmas eve. Truly sick. Diverticulitis. Wow. So, guy of 3.5 yrs. dumped me 3 months. Never has contacted me once. I did all the texting and emailing to return things. I sent a couple memes here and there I felt relevant. I let him know me and my kid were going to be just fine. The widow and the fatherless kid will be just fine. He got all he wanted. He got his kids 50/50 and his dream job. Bumper year for him. Well, he ends up behind me in traffic. Kind of runs up on me to get the light. I am clueless as it was Christmas parade traffic. He texts immediately he was sorry and didn't know my car until right up there. Okay, I wasn't paying attention due to traffic. I text him back later he seems to be off as I do see his posts on the Father's rights page. Nope he is fine and then he texts he misses me. He had twice stated this before, and I ignored it. I finally stated he made the right call to take care of his kids and me to do so with mine. Polite for him to state that. WTH! So, a couple more texts by accident on my end. I block his information so it does not occur as he keeps responding with more though I apologize. I finally make a snarky comment and no response. Blocked more access I have to him. So, he sends me a Christmas card. A lovely pic of him with his children with their names. Why? Why? 2020 cannot get here soon enough. New year. 8 yrs. widowed in Jan. New life again.
  13. tybec

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    Ok, friended guy on FB. Scammers abound on dating site. He is legit. We have a common friend. Guy is just chatting. Not really stating he wants to date me. We have some political views that do not align. So, he still is texting. But this week, asks for pics. Um, I have plenty on my FB page. No NOW pics. Nope, in bed right now. I like those kind. This quickly changes to him asking me sexually explicit things. I am not a prude, but really! No face to face yet and jump there. I don't know much at all about him. So, ditched him. I am not going to be some guys rub out. GEEZ! Do they think you don't mean what you say? Not for the faint of heart. I am laughing with friends about it. I sent screenshots of many to my friends. Do they look at the pics they post? my world.....
  14. tybec

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    Ok, took a deep breath and dove back in. I don't have to do anything I don't want to and I don't owe anyone anything but to be kind about it. I am talking to a couple men. Slow my pace down to what I want and need. Changed my profile to hopefully weed out the FWB, threesomes and obvious non matching philosophies. May limit me a bunch, but that is okay. I do think it interesting that just talking to a man and that is a perceived communication that you are all in. NO. Still getting to know you. What in the world? Just because you talk you are in? We are such a society of immediate gratification. In everything! Keeping on...

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    Winter 2012
  • Cause of death
    car accident
  • Spouse's Age
    45


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