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trying2breathe

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  • Date Widowed
    8/1/13
  • Cause of death
    Heart attack


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  1. Congrats on the kitty, arneal. Maybe a new addition to the family will liven things up a bit? Good to hear that your electronics are back to normal! I also feel the seasonal thing, along with the hour time change I'm in a funk too. I think that it's aggravated with all that's going on with my Dad - also trying to stay in my lane and keep these cranky emotions to myself. Not easy! I'm learning that NG is not good with this side of me, he wants to fix it and there's no fix for this, just gotta wade through it. I've thought of my late husband more this week than I have in a long time - I really really miss him, and it's strange to say this with a new man in my life that I love very much. Tomorrow is my birthday - meh. Don't feel like celebrating, just want this one to be over with.
  2. Hope all is okay, arneal - crazy stuff going on in California, stay safe!!
  3. trying2breathe

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    I get it too, stillwidowed. Intuition kicks in and you just know. I dated a guy several years ago that after 3 dates, asked me to dinner at his house. I didn't go - not that I didn't feel safe, just that I wasn't ready for that kind of comfortableness that soon. I believe that a home date can imply more than just a meal, maybe there are some guys out there that don't think about this. Wow, tybec - thank goodness it was just lunch!
  4. sudnly Sorry to hear that you're dealing with some abusive family members. Glad you're in a good place with your ex right now, stay safe! Sunday was NG's birthday, tried to make it a good day for him and I think he appreciated it. Gifted him the massage and a hoodie - awkwardly he opened his presents. Guess receiving gifts isn't one of his love languages?? So I told him that the hoodie was from the dog 😃 he laughed and then he was kind of okay with it. Made his favorite dinner, watched the Pats game, a relaxing afternoon for the most part. Then I got a call that my Dad was in the ER - and I left to manage getting him admitted to the hospital. So it's been a stressful week, my 88 y/o Dad moved yesterday from the hospital into rehab, will have a couple of weeks there and we'll see where he goes then. I'm glad that he's agreeable so far to what's going on, hasn't always been the case with him. NG has been supportive, and I'm so grateful. Also have the help of my brother that lives here, together we're partnering to take care of my Dad's needs. It's interesting that my children's 4 grandparents are all still with us - all in their mid to late 80's. And their Dad passed away at age 49. sigh ..... Got to a street Halloween party last night, sat in a camp chair and greeted trick or treaters. Had a couple glasses of wine and some chocolate - just what I needed after this week. TGIF!
  5. sugarbell Does your guy know how you feel? Wonder if anything would change, if he knows that you're not moving forward with him, his family situation the way it is. Does he have siblings that can help care for his Mom? She sounds very needy! NG's birthday is this weekend - again I struggle to figure out what to get him. We talked about having dinner together and that's it, but he's been so generous with me and I didn't want to not gift him anything. So ended up getting a spa gift card, he can book a massage or whatever he likes. He's been working so hard lately and it will be appreciated I think. I have a hard time encouraging gift giving, and I'm not sure why. In reality, I do like to get a little something - doesn't have to be expensive or anything, just the thought and effort that counts. But I have a hard time saying it. One of those love language things with me, I guess, but it's hard to express it.
  6. arneal It will be a change having his daughter here, no doubt. I have a heart for young people finding their way and feel like I can offer some support for her, should the opportunity present itself. Definitely don't want to overstep the boundaries as a mere GF though. As NG is kind of clueless in the ways of kids and young women in particular, I'll most likely give more support to him as he adjusts to her move here. My 23 y/o son is at home with me now, plans to be on his way in the next 6 months or so. We can maybe blend a bit with both of our kids and see how it goes. Of NG's two kids, this daughter is more agreeable and open to her Dad being in a new relationship. Thank goodness. I hear you on closing the story and moving forward. Expensive quotes to have LH's things shipped! Can you move the stuff yourself? Maybe consider packing those things yourself into a POD type of storage and then having it shipped? I used a POD for storage for a recent purge of one of my storage units, and it worked well. Not sure what the price of a move with one of those would be though. Good luck!
  7. arneal Thanks for checking in, two years under the same roof? Wow, time really is flying. I can't believe NG and I will have been together three years in January. Things are going alright, we've established a routine and reality has set in. What will change soon is that his 23 y/o, after Christmas, will be quitting her job and moving down to live with him. For the past few years she's had a hard time finding her way, career-wise and personally. NG is nervous, isn't sure how to manage having his daughter around full-time, and fears that it will affect our relationship. NG describes himself as being "Dad Light" - he's twice divorced and when his daughters were very young, they went through shared custody and didn't have their Dad around a lot. I think that having her here is a good time for him to establish a deeper relationship with her and help to get her on her feet. Not sure if she's here for awhile or temporarily, time will tell. Of his two daughters, she is accepting of us so I hope to get to know her better too. Happy to have fall season here, but again I'm dealing with holiday stress - who goes where, when, and with whom. My in-laws are still in on the holiday plans and it stresses me out. Might be time to set some boundaries, and it will be hard to do this. ^ Good way to describe a Chapter 2 relationship, julester. There are things in common and then a lot that isn't, and never really can be. sugarbell My SIL was born in WV, and I witnessed Appalachian culture first hand through her. What you describe is what my brother dealt with, he is now going through a messy divorce with her. After 27 years of marriage there sadly wasn't a peaceful moment between them. That culture seems hard-wired and there may not be a lot you can do to change it. That's huge that he stood up to his mom, good for him!
  8. trying2breathe

    12yearsBirthday/Suicide/Sports

    yes ^^^ That void, I get it. It's always there, but especially for those particular dates. My daughter's 21st birthday was yesterday, she didn't mention it but I know that she thinks of him especially during those milestones. Hugs, sugarbell. Glad that October brings back some normalcy for you.
  9. sudnly Peace as you journey ahead , and find a better place! I can't imagine being around somebody like your sister, please update us when you're settled.
  10. Not integrating with you and your son - there you have it. Would not make for a good relationship for the long haul. His kids will grow up, and not need him as they do now. It's a harsh reality when that happens. I hope that you take time for some self care. Sending big hugs .....
  11. tybec (((hugs))) Sorry that you're going through this. You certainly gave this relationship your best effort, you deserve so much better!
  12. I relate to this as I still have furniture in storage that I am slowly donating, selling and purging. It does feel good to move forward with the process, but it hasn't been easy. As for your couch - how about cutting a small swatch of it for memory's sake?
  13. trying2breathe

    I got my son to 16!

    Yay, tybec - a bittersweet milestone! One that comes with anxiety and added responsibility. I taught my kids to drive and also thought that it should have been Dad's job. Thank goodness for family willing to step in and help out with these kinds of things.
  14. trying2breathe

    I'm sorry for your loss...

    It hasn't been easy for me to hear people's responses either - six years and it's still surreal. In these six years, I've attended several funerals and find myself saying the same stuff that I don't like to hear. I don't know that there really are any good responses to what we deal with. A client shared with me that she lost her daughter in a horrific car accident - only thing I could think to say is "there are no words" and give her a hug. Nothing good about any of this. The one question that I hated in the early days was "how are you?" When asked this I usually responded that I was doing okay - but really??
  15. tybec Good to hear, and so glad that counseling is making a difference! I love therapy, if I had a bottomless bank account I think I'd go every week. Haven't done much couples sessions but I guess it could only help! sudnly It must feel so good to be out of that crazy place - any update on getting your deposit back?

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    8/1/13
  • Cause of death
    Heart attack


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