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  • Date Widowed
  • Cause of death
    Heart attack

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  1. trying2breathe

    Have you ever been called out?

    I sure hope that if somebody makes the effort to call somebody out on what they consider to be inadequate parenting, they'd be willing to step up and be supportive. As if widowed parents don't have enough going on. My kids were 14 and 16 when DH died, a bit older and somewhat independent. About a year after DH died, I was called out in group therapy - for ignoring my daughter's needs and allowing her to dally into some drug use. I was mad - here was a group of therapists - none of them parents - telling me that I was doing it wrong. And I wanted to scream that I was trying my best. Ultimately they helped me and my daughter, we were provided attention and support for what we were going through. It was tough but worth it to go through this, I'm not sure if the outcome would be as good as it is today if we hadn't gone through therapy. Maybe a different scenario than what your friend is going through - but my 2 cents.
  2. trying2breathe

    facing my inner demon....

    There's not a day that I don't think of him without regret about not doing more. I've come to accept that maybe it would not have made a difference, but I'll never know. I tried my best, but the woulda, shoulda, couldas run a loop in my mind. Yep, like others here I understand.
  3. Best to on your move, sdnly. The universe is telling you loudly it's time to go and you're taking that cue! I've moved a lot, yes it's a pain but I consider it a fresh start. So glad that you're reconnecting with your sister. Keep us posted on your move!
  4. trying2breathe

    Speed Dating?

    CJF I did some speed dating a few years ago. It was a little intimidating at first, but everybody was there for the same reason and once it started it was fine. The way this particular event worked - we were grouped according to an age range, women sat and guys moved to a new table every 3 minutes or so. We got feedback later on who was interested and then went on from there. This service gave women the choice on whether or not to meet, and provided all positive responses from the dates. I think this is a good way to vet out people that are truly interested in dating - there are a lot of phonies out there. Agree with Mike that it's so much better than on-line dating. Let us know if you decided to try it out!
  5. trying2breathe

    Let's Celebrate!!!

    RAM What a great post, and congrats on that last paper towards your masters degree! My accomplishment is that I'm sorting, selling, donating and purging three storage units of belongings from my married household. I moved back to the US a year after he died, put all of our household belongings into storage, got a new place that was already furnished and started fresh. It's been in the back of my mind for five years on how to manage this, and it feels good to move forward and make some progress, FINALLY.
  6. Oh, tybec ..... I'm sorry to hear this - you've given your best and it's not surprising to hear that it's come to this. It's good that you've decided to not settle - he's shown time and again to not be there for you. Thinking of you, sending big hugs and good wishes for some peaceful days ahead.
  7. trying2breathe

    In ER with Fiancé.

    My heart skipped a beat as I read your post, LF. It's so hard to deal with medical situations, doubly so when we've been through it with our departed loved ones. Glad that nothing serious was found - whew!!
  8. trying2breathe

    Moving on, Starting over... ??? Just thinking....

    I relate, RAM - for me I think there will always be a feeling of being unsettled,. now that DH is gone. Whatever future plans we made died with him and it's been hard to re-adjust to the new reality. I kind of thought that with a new relationship some of this uneasiness would go away, and it really hasn't eased up much at all. It's coming to terms with the new normal, I guess.
  9. I'm with you, sugarbell - when things get complicated I like to go home and play with my toys by myself. I don't want the aggravation or stress of trying to blend. I'm lucky to feel that I am in a full time committed relationship with him, we see each pretty much every day as he lives close. NG would marry me next week too - I tell him that this won't happen so he wants to move in together. Hmmm - we'll see. I'm happy with the way things are right now.
  10. trying2breathe

    My son had a friend commit suicide yesterday

    How tragic - so very sorry to hear this. Sadly suicide with young people is far too common these days. Hope that your son is okay ...
  11. trying2breathe

    I'm engaged!

    Congratulations, all the best to you! You deserve to be happy .....
  12. tybec Meh is right - so sorry that the summer with NG isn't aligning so that you can be together. Summers with kids and the routine changes so much. It seems though that you and NG are both digging your heels in and not willing to compromise to be together. Almost like sabotaging the relationship, now that summer is here. If you really want time together with him, can you work together to make it happen? Kids can stay for a weekend with a friend, and you (or your son?) can miss a band practice or two. What's NG doing on the weekends when he doesn't have his kids? It's easy for me to type out a solution, and of course I don't know the details of what you're dealing with. But it seems that you and NG are two head strong people unwilling to give an inch, in order to be together. I've been there for almost all of my kids' activities, concerts, games, awards, etc. But I've missed a few, when I had something else important going on. For me, it's important that my kids know that I'm there for them, to support their activities and achievements. But I also want them to know that I prioritize myself or my relationship sometimes too.
  13. trying2breathe

    It was his birthday yesterday....

    It is good to hear that the day was okay for you. Yesterday would have been our 26th wedding anniversary, I didn't know what to expect but the day was a peaceful one. I remember reading five years ago how time softens grief and wondered if I'd ever get here, grateful to know that it's possible on these dates to not have a heavy heart.
  14. Thanks, hadn't really considered that he might have sleep apnea - worth a conversation for sure. He conks out so quickly - and then I'm left to try to drift off while he makes noise. Wish I was a deep sleeper, never have been.
  15. Happy Friday - looking forward to a busy weekend, Mother's Day celebration on Sunday with my in-laws here too, a good thing. arneal Yay on the sister saying hi - kind of makes your heart skip a beat doesn't it? Like now you know you are recognized and belong! 😁 So - question for those of us that share our beds with a partner that snores 😕 Lately NG and I have not had overnights as his snoring is bothering me ALOT. I have some early mornings and really appreciate - need - a good night's sleep. I told him last week that if we ever lived together we would have separate bedrooms. He has tried a few snore devices - a nose thing and some kind of mouth guard - and it hasn't made much of a difference. Does anybody have a snore remedy that works well?

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
  • Cause of death
    Heart attack

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