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trying2breathe

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  • Date Widowed
    8/1/13
  • Cause of death
    Heart attack


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  1. trying2breathe

    I got my son to 16!

    Yay, tybec - a bittersweet milestone! One that comes with anxiety and added responsibility. I taught my kids to drive and also thought that it should have been Dad's job. Thank goodness for family willing to step in and help out with these kinds of things.
  2. trying2breathe

    I'm sorry for your loss...

    It hasn't been easy for me to hear people's responses either - six years and it's still surreal. In these six years, I've attended several funerals and find myself saying the same stuff that I don't like to hear. I don't know that there really are any good responses to what we deal with. A client shared with me that she lost her daughter in a horrific car accident - only thing I could think to say is "there are no words" and give her a hug. Nothing good about any of this. The one question that I hated in the early days was "how are you?" When asked this I usually responded that I was doing okay - but really??
  3. tybec Good to hear, and so glad that counseling is making a difference! I love therapy, if I had a bottomless bank account I think I'd go every week. Haven't done much couples sessions but I guess it could only help! sudnly It must feel so good to be out of that crazy place - any update on getting your deposit back?
  4. Alma I'm so sorry to find you here, condolences on the loss of your husband.
  5. Yup ^ Not in a tiny town, there are options - but I have the best time with NG. I love and adore this man and when it's just us, it's amazing. Bring in the family - different story. Kids won't blend, I have no desire to blend with his kids either. They most likely feel the same. Live with him? With some well-defined boundaries, maybe someday. Marry him? Hell no.
  6. Gosh well thanks for the kudos on being quiet - I'm no master at it, try but am not always successful! I know that whenever the subject of his daughters comes up, it stresses me out. NG just says "they're kids!" in response to what I consider to be rude behavior and taking advantage of their Dad. Kids that are 23 & 25 and should know better? The behavior is possibly as a result of two divorces and what they went through - I try to give them a bit of leeway in this regard but it isn't easy. My daughter - super social and usually accepting of others - mentioned that she doesn't want to hang out with them either. She wanted a blended family that includes kids, unfortunately this just isn't working out with them right now. Makes me sad. This is a downside of our relationship - and possibly a breaking point if it doesn't get better. sudnly Countdown to the 27th ..... less than 2 weeks?
  7. arneal I hear you on the negativity about kids. And I relate to the difference in kids' upbringing. I've learned to keep my mouth shut about his kids - nothing good will come of it. I don't like this side of myself either. When I started dating I sought out guys with kids, thinking it would be good to have that in common. We're not blending, just trying to co-exist - never knew it would be this difficult. Good luck with the start of school jules, hope that all goes smoothly. Sounds like a busy week for you! tybec So glad that Finally! the ex is being called out on what she is doing. I feel for this child, and hope there aren't lasting effects on him because of her behavior. Best with the counseling session and good to hear from you. DS is home, my house again is full of kids and I'm happy. I'll have a little less time with NG and I think it's a good thing. It will be good to change things up a bit.
  8. sudnly Countdown to the 27th ..... hope that you get your deposit back and all goes well! Toxic place, for sure. Best on selling the camper! It has been quiet here, and I too hope that everybody is healthy and happy. Good to get your update arneal - haha - 2 sets of sheets, so practical. Sounds you have a meat and taters kind of guy too? NG and I bumble along - for the most part all is going okay. He loves to come over, and take care of whatever needs to be done around the house. Our relationship lacks the kind of emotional connection that I like, but I know that I can be extra needy in this area and I'm figuring out how to deal with this. I'm high energy and need lots of activity - he can read and relax on the sofa for hours. We're no closer to living together, depends on which day it is on how I feel about living with him and most days I'm content to keep things as they are. It bothers me that after 2 -1/2+ years there is still no connection with his daughters - unrealistic expectation on my part on how this should go, I guess. And I know that this reflects more on his relationship with them, than my attempt at connecting with them. In the meantime, he's close with both my kids - they're accepting of him and know him well. I can't see living together with him and having his daughters stay with us - it makes me that uncomfortable. Things to think about moving forward. In the meantime, our lives are busy and active - recently dusted off my bicycle and together we ride a 12 mile trail on weekends, fun. It took a long time and feels like I leaped a hurdle getting on a bike again, as DH died of a heart attack while biking - but it feels right. NG and I started bridge lessons and get out socially with other couples which is a good change. And I continue trying to expand my group of girlfriends. Connections as you mention arneal - so important. Summer is coming to a close - DD returns to school in a couple of weeks, DS comes home after a summer internship and not sure what his plans will be. Transition ... learning to accept that it's a good thing.
  9. trying2breathe

    Speechless

    Wow, no words - just wow
  10. trying2breathe

    Widowed and Dating

    stawcie I had the same questions as I started dating, at a similar time frame out as you. If I thought that it was a relationship worth pursuing, I told him two to three dates in that I was widowed. Some dates I didn't tell - but I knew those relationships weren't long lasting anyway and I didn't want to take the energy to have that conversation. It took me awhile to tell my in-laws that I was dating, although they told me early on that they hoped I would find somebody else. I just didn't feel like sharing the details of my dating life with them. and I was pretty sure that my MIL would want the details. LOL
  11. trying2breathe

    I Got A New Car

    Happy for you, laurie - enjoy!
  12. trying2breathe

    Speechless

    Oh Bubu, I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. Banks - ugh - after he died, my banker wanted to just get to the details and pushed to know how my situation could benefit him. While living abroad - no opportunity that I could work as I didn't have a visa - he suggested that I should start working to continue adding to the nest egg. I was so offended. Bankers could use some sensitivity training - my 2 cents
  13. trying2breathe

    Let's Celebrate!!!

    I'm grateful that NG is a mechanic, he helps with so many things like this. And he's teaching both of my kids how to maintain their cars Yeah, agree that pre-owned certified is only as good as the deanship - we've been lucky so far with the ones that we've bought over the years. One of the biggest benefits IMHO getting POC is that there is usually an extended warranty on these cars. So at least there's a few years covered for any big repairs.
  14. trying2breathe

    Let's Celebrate!!!

    Appreciate the information on CarFax, I wasn't sure how thorough the information is there, so thanks. Agree that it's nuts out there, buyer beware. When my son bought his car - certified pre-owned, he was given just one car key. When we asked about a second key, the salesman said that they didn't have one. So it would have been on my son to get a second key made and programmed, over $200. Checked around and found that yes, a second key should be included with the purchase of a certified pre-owned vehicle. I'll add that it was a Subaru dealership - we've had good experience with Subarus but this particular dealership was an exception. Made a fuss about it, and finally we got that second key. Frustrating!
  15. trying2breathe

    Let's Celebrate!!!

    This is a big subject for us, maybe we should start a Car Purchasing thread. Not sure if paying cash gives a better deal, but it does take away figuring out the financing details. My process: each kid had a certain car in mind and an inventory of those vehicles was on-line, so we researched what was available in our area and we pretty much knew going in to the dealership specific cars on the lot we were interested in. Then checked CarFax for history on those particular vehicles. Going in, we already knew the cars we wanted to see, the asking price and car history of those vehicles. Didn't tell the sales person this though. We did some test drives, and went from there. I told my kids to go along with whatever I said 😉 "you can't possibly afford that one!" - in trying to negotiate a better price. Anyway - just my process the last two times. Anybody else have some good car buying tips?

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    8/1/13
  • Cause of death
    Heart attack


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