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StillWidowed

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  1. StillWidowed

    Broken Heart.

    I'm with Eddie. I didn't feel healed until 7 years. But that was little by little. When I was at two years, I was still very raw. Two years is still considered newly widowed in my book. At three years I started to feel lighter. Not healed, lighter. So please know that what you're feeling and experiencing are very "normal". Society has an unrealistic idea on grief and the time it takes to heal. Just watch a Hallmark movie. The newly widowed woman or man always bounces right back and finds love again in just two short hours! Ahhhh......if grief were only that simple.
  2. Bunny you are right. My apologies as I look back thru the thread and saw my last post. My post expressed my thoughts on the fact that I'm not dating anyone at the moment and the feelings that went along with that. But not being in a relationship, yet still wondering if it will be down the road, is different from deliberately choosing not to date and recouple, and feeling secure with that choice. Thanks for bringing this thread back to it's original intent.
  3. Arneal, I think you want more from your relationship, but not willing to rock the boat too much. I understand that your guy might not think or celebrate events like you do, but to be in a loving, committed relationship, it's realizing that what's important to your partner should be important to you too. Out of love for that person, you would want to do those things for them that make them happy. Please make sure you're with him for all the right reasons. Of course there is give and take and compromise, but make sure you're not accepting crumbs when only a loaf will do. Much love to you. Really. This is hard.
  4. StillWidowed

    The saga continues!

    I'm going to come at this from a different angle. I don't want you to ignore him. He's poisoned you, pulled a gun on you and stole all your money. Don't engage with those two whatsoever, but I do think you need to document every single action they make that involves contacting you, posting about you, or driving by your place. I'm not trying to scare you, but be smart, be safe and document everything . Tell your daughter where the documentation is located. Be aware of your surroundings coming and going from your trailer or anywhere else for that matter. I'm glad you have a dog. They're great alarm systems. Maybe I watch too much Dateline, but better to be safe than sorry.
  5. StillWidowed

    Need help - completely broken

    Redhead, my first (and only) relationship post widowhood was a painful breakup as well. It took a lot of time to put it behind me, with some getting back together, breaking up, and sleeping together once after over a year being apart. I thought I would NEVER move on from that guy. But I did. And I spent time alone again. Healing, and creating a happy, secure, enjoyable life for myself. Take the time to grieve and heal. It's so important. I'm glad I did after my husband died and I'm glad I did after my relationship breakup.
  6. StillWidowed

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    Hey Virgo. I did. We might get together again in December when he's back in town. Really nice guy. On another note, I met a man last weekend. We hit it off instantly, PLUS I was attracted to him (this almost never happens). We're going out again this weekend. The only drawback is that he's recently divorced. He seems interested, but I'm being cautiously optimistic. Not up for being the rebound girl.
  7. StillWidowed

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    Early dinner, late dinner? You go!
  8. StillWidowed

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    A client of ours wants to meet me tonight for drinks. I'm going, but it will never be anything more than casual. I'm going so I can practice my kissing skills. It's been awhile. I'm getting rusty.
  9. StillWidowed

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    I'm off the site for now.
  10. StillWidowed

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    Well I canceled both dates to be safe due to a situation that happened earlier in the month but has recently escalated into harassment on the dating site. I'm on hiatus since I don't know if the nut job is contacting me under other fake profiles. So until this guy gets bored and moves onto someone else, I'm too freaked out to chance it.
  11. StillWidowed

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    This weekend is a finance guy (widower) and an engineer. We'll see..........
  12. StillWidowed

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    The RN was very nice, but no connection. The pharmaceutical guy canceled and the Daytrader seemed to have an anger problem....lol
  13. StillWidowed

    Those familiar chest pains of loss

    Yep, been there done that. Any went back and forth with an emotionally unavailable man for way too long. All I did was hurt myself further and waste more time. Hang in there. (((Hugs)))
  14. StillWidowed

    The first one out the gate

    Yes, everyone is entitled to some ice cream after a breakup. My problem is that I feel I'm entitled to ice cream simply because it might be a Tuesday! Healing thoughts and hugs to you.
  15. StillWidowed

    The second year seems harder.

    Unfortunately, there is no solution. Just time. And lots of it. I remember hitting a huge grief wave at 2.5 years and feeling like I was never going to feel better. But I did. Slowly but surely. But when you're in it....oh man is it hard and feels endless. You won't feel like this forever and now with 10 years creeping up on me, I'm happy. No relationship. Just happy with my life, friends, family and job. And I had some knocks in the last couple of years. So when you feel like you're slipping down, tie a knot in that rope and hang on some more. It will get easier.


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