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  • Date Widowed
    9/29/13
  • Cause of death
    Cancer


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  1. Trying

    There are worse things than death

    So tragic, there are no words. My prayers for her and this family.
  2. Trying

    Sobbed on new girl

    Congratulations and thanks for coming back to share!
  3. Trying

    New loss, old pain

    RobFTC I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's diagnosis. I understand completely how hard it is to not give into fearing the worst. We have unfortunately learned that bad things can happen to good people.
  4. Trying

    New loss, old pain

    Thank you all. The memorial was difficult as expected. An old friend who moved away and I haven't seen for over a decade came back for the memorial. He had not been able to come back when Tim died (he was in our wedding as well as the friend who passed) so we had a lot of grief and memories to slog through. After the service he and I went to a bar/restaurant we all,used to hang out at when we were first married and lived in a different town than we do now. The memories came flooding back and it was tough but also comforting to be with someone who was with us when our life together began. Some days I feel so detached from who I was so it was nice to remember and feel that connection. yes I have remarried and am happy for the most part but I miss having the one person who was there for 25 years of memories. The one person who would understand.
  5. Trying

    Last name change

    I struggled with this a bit, I have 3 sons and the connection to them is importan. I remarried an ultimately decided to make late husband's last name my middle name and took new husbands last name as mine. Professionally it's taking time to make the switch and so many things are still in my old name because it's a real pain in the ass. My youngest is a freshman in high school and I will always be Mrs C to his friends.
  6. Trying

    I'm an orphan

    I’m so sorry for your loss. It seems so cruel to have to go through so much red tape and legal crap while grieving. A good lawyer should ease some of the burden but going through the personal possessions is always difficult. My heart goes out to you.
  7. Trying

    Sad Loss Of WifeLess

    I haven’t checked the board ina while so I am just hearing this sad news. I am so very sorry for your loss, my heart is with you
  8. Today he would've been 51 but he only made it to 45. Last night we lost a dear friend. He was Tim's friend from highschool and my friend from college. He introduced us in 1998. Of course he was trying to fix Tim up with my roommate not me., lol, Tim brought another friend with him who ended up marrying my roommate. He was Godfather to our youngest. I can't help but hope there is some form of after life and that Tim was there to welcome him and they are together today for Tims birthday. How am I supposed to make it through this friends wake and funeral without Tim by my side to share the pain and the endless memories of our time together? There is a never ending supply of important events both happy and sad that he is not here by my side for and it pisses me off. He should be here to go through this with me.
  9. Trying

    Holiday question

    Needytoo I hope Christmas Day was better. It's heartbreaking to feel so torn and I'm sorry your son is not able to be accepting of your relationship. You may remember my kids had a very hard time initially, the older two were late teens when my chapter 2 relationship started. My middle son was the last to come around but we are finally there. It was so painful to not have his support, to put up with the tension and to feel guilty that I was causing him pain too. I can't tell you to not be hurt, I know it hurts. I hope it gets better soon.
  10. Lots of turning 50! Mine is in April. We are doing Spring Break in Key West with my youngest and his 2 right before my birthday. He turns 50 in October and we will plan a "just us" long weekend away. I'm much more about shared experiences than material gifts these days but still feel pressure at Christmas to have presents wrapped under the tree.
  11. Trying

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    Congratulations Leadfeather!
  12. Reading this thread from "the other side" as someone who remarried and blended last year. The concerns are valid with blended families. We have had some difficult adjustments to make and it's not all rainbows and sunshine. I have moments when I wonder if I made the right decision. When he gets annoyed with my 20 year old for being, well, a 20 year old (he is moving out on his own next month so that will help). When his ex is full on crazy and many trips back to court over custody and money. When our ideas about how to run a household clash. Holiday traditions. Division of chores. My frustration about lack of control in parenting decisions with his kids. Money. But there is love, and intimacy, having someone to come home to and wake up to, having that one person who knows everything about you and loves you any way, someone to set the mousetraps and do the heavy lifting, someone to eat dinner with and discuss your day with, and someone to plan the future with. I wish you all the best in this journey. So many moving parts to consider and knowing that no decision will ever feel perfect.
  13. Trying

    Holiday question

    So happy your youngest is joining you! I hope this is the beginning of warm and wonderful holidays for you!
  14. Trying

    Holiday question

    My conversation would go something like this " I'm very sorry that you did not grow up with warm family traditions during the holidays because of your father's preferences. This is something I have missed in my life and I would love to start some new traditions with you if you are interested. If you don't feel comfortable joining me at NGs family holiday I understand. Let's do a lovely Christmas brunch together at 10:00 am and exchange small gifts." you deserve a warm holiday and I hope they come around but if they choose to continue to not embrace holidays it shouldn't stop you.
  15. Trying

    The Guilt from Inlaws

    I have always been like you, bending over backwards to keep everyone else happy and it is just plain exhausting. You have done so much to foster this relationship between your son and his grandmother, my guess is that if your husband was alive she's would have even less time with him because you would be focused on family time and your DH would've set the limits. Try to do only what you are comfortable with and continue to invite her to come see you sometimes. Then it's up to her. You have NOTHING to feel guilty about.

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    9/29/13
  • Cause of death
    Cancer


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