Torn

Thanks Quixote, Yeah man your right, it's not a journey as much as a repeated ending good Sir. 2 years here and I appreciate your story it helps man... ToRn

I despise healthcare as a,whole in many cases,especially one like this,these doctor's lives are quiet different from ours in to many ways. The experience of true sudden loss,is unbearable at times, its unreal that there isnt more compassion. Its odd to me that any doctor that is in this field ,more doctors arent better equipped to assist & evaluate on a broader scale. Its sickening to me,that so many with bipolar disorders are lumped into tge same category. Bipolar disorder has been over medicated & misunderstood longer tgan it should be. Hopefully in time these things will get better for you,possibly another doctor would be a good idea

I only want to weight in here to say,I feel your anxiety & pain aswell. Recently I've been doing the same,going threw the "lil things",lots of memories good & bad,it's very hard to distinguish between the two simply because I'm a couple weeks from the 2 years Mark from loosing DW.. I send you positive vibes & prayer,it's difficult for me ,I hope it gets easier as time goes on. I made a pretty big mistake,by over doing things & putting myself emotionally in a bad place,please put limits on yourself this is a process ~ToRn

First off : HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO YOU ALL!!!!! This day is very difficult miss the woman, I admired for her mothering skill & her loving compassion she shared with our like family, definitely another void in life. My Mother, I miss as well however loosing my wife has overshadowed my memory of my mother, she set the standard in my mind and my wife only exceeded these things....a tough day.

I hate your also in this position. . Today I'm sure my MIL is dumb enough to be thinking that I'm not getting in touch with her,she's a selfish human & has recently caused more hardship in my family, what's left of family. Happy Mothers day to you ladies,care for yourselves today,please your all worth it

It's not just you...I get CRAZY JEALOUS when I've seen countless people receive brain surgery for my debilitating condition & I've watched them move on in life & work..but I've learned that hopefully my time will come & ill be able to carry on & wait & TRY to stay positive until I can locate a specialist..it's hard to see others have the chance to get on with life,while I feel stuck in the background begging for help,in excruciating pain. Its hard. Please know it's not only you.

Ya know it really seems "the curse" of oss around/ a lil after 2 years that it forces us to feel inadequacy,in a few ways. I feel the same as you guys,loads of "i should have's " & I've accomplished a fair amount but there's nothing that'll make me better totally,no matter how much I do,I "still do alone".. It's hard,really I wish each of us a lil extra peace in this time. I've tried to adapt a certain amount of assumption that my wife would be proud of the progress I've made. But I often think that some how one day I must learn to be proud of my own progress,possibly just another stage of 'letting go',but I suppose in time I'll feel better...best to you all

Good stuff here Congrates on the house acomplishment...sounds like a tough road. Oh and the new Sweetie I'm your life... Good stuff

Don't feel bad man,I'm the same time frame as you and am the same there's more here than has left for sure man. Its not wrong & I believe I'm feeling better now about parting with the lil things that aren't keepsakes or much good to others,I'm getting ride of a few things at a time,because this us a Hell of a ride to travel down & I'm not one to place bumps in my own pathcso easy does it for me,lil by lil. Peace to you all ~ToRn

It's so hard to not feel this way,surly so many feel the same. But I gotta say,my wife like EVERYONE ELSE'S spouse WANTS US TO LIVE HAPPILY. We each owe it to ourselves as humans to try and endure & get help if this feeling persist....we are all gifted with life and the chance to live another day,we MUST count this as a blessing...we Must. Our loved ones I believe would be disappointed terribly to think we'd given up,please hold on & get any help you can. Sorry I just have to say this our lives have purpose,we must find that purpose. WE ARE ALL WORTH LIVING & LOVING

Clothes I'm very unsure what to do aside from donation. But items like airsoft guns could be turned it a lamp,or something similar that could be a functional item of use,while remaining a keepsake for memory. I'm not versed well in airsoft guns,but many hobby items could be turned into something useful & remind you of him while being a functional item in a office...etc....just an idea,look at pintrest..

Sorry to hear & to think about your lil girl & daddy.I lucked out I guess my daughter was married 3 weeks prior to my wife passing so she did have a mom when she was small. It's just that seeing couples with kids kinda forces my subconscious to think the couple's are married & this goes ahead & slam dunks the sadness. Best to you all in this

I want to say that the spring has suddenly brought all the couple's out & it's wrong to feel like I do. I've no doubt that my wife and I,would have continued to surpass our friends marriage 'wise' so seeing others at this point stores up unplaced anger. Sorry each of you all feel this pain

Definitely, things where getting explosive here. But I, want good for my kid.. At this point us anxiety-ville, but I'm fortunate to have met a sweet friend that has been a huge blessing in my life. She's a Godsend to me & can relate in many ways. Thank you all for the encouragement & support

I'm currently mad in my situation, but do want to say. These kids are now leaving and once again I feel Im alone. I do realize the damage they've done to my healing process,and all I can do is strive on, to find "The Real ToRn". My daughter feels the separation aswell as she told me in tears,lots of tears. But I did what DADDY'S do & was supportive to her,to let her know that " Our Story " as Father and Daughter shouldn't have this sadness",as early in either of our lives. She feels she's loosing me forever, well I feel the same. If I'm honest with myself I feel much like my wife is Dieing all over again as my family is torn down to only myself. This has always been my experience with death, my mom passed and our family all went separate directions. It hurts me a lot right now. BUT This has been needing to happen after the first month my wife passed, so that I could rebuild my life,not WAIT UNTIL these kids where 'ready'. But again,I'll say "That's what Daddy's do" they suffer more than most because they are dedicated,I've endured a ton of things since deciding to Father my daughter,when she was 2 and I knew the life she'd have if there was no positive male,or a stable home life to lead an example for her future. SOOO Here we go, lil by lil I'll change things to my my Family home,my home again & I am worried only because this is new to me,well it shouldn't be but it is. I'll do this step by step, like I've told others that lost their spouses: Your wife/husband loved you enough to definitely want you to find love and enjoy life again. Time moves on..... ~ToRn