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  • Date Widowed
  • Cause of death
    Colon Cancer

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  1. JeanGenie

    There are worse things than death

    So sad and very tragic; words fail me. But puts my life in perspective.
  2. JeanGenie

    Sad Loss Of WifeLess

    Bluebird so sorry to hear this. Life seems so unfair at times...
  3. JeanGenie

    Widowed Jan 16, 2019.

    Powbesh, I'm sorry you have joined this awful club that none of us really want to be part of. But I'm glad you found us because we all get it and what you are feeling is "normal". As others have said, drink plenty of water, and just take it hour by hour, day by day. I remember not caring if I lived or died...not that I would have taken my own life, but if something happened to me, I was okay with that. I also remember sitting alone forcing myself to eat something or making dinner and wondering "why bother". What I can tell you is that it does get better. I know that it so very hard to believe at this point. But keep coming here and reaching out to us. It has only been 10 days for you...just be kind to yourself and don't feel you need to do anything you don't want. It sounds like you have some friends who are trying to reach out. They just don't get it (fortunate for them). Unless they've lost their true love, the love of their life, the person you lived and breathed for, they cannot understand (lucky for them). This is a time for you to be selfish...do what feels right at the moment and take baby steps. Sending virtual hugs, Jean
  4. JeanGenie

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    Oh Peony, I'm sorry this happened to you too. We sound so alike though in the recycling of this in my head. I have some close friends who have pointed out that I tend to overanalyze so not a good combination. WW, this sounds like me too! I have gotten back up on the proverbial horse and have starting seeing another guy. Maybe a bit too quickly and maybe he's just the "rebound" guy, but what do I know...I haven't "dated" in 35 years! As much as I'm enjoying this latest guy, I'm still processing everything from the previous and can't get him out of my head. Damn, this dating stuff is exhausting! But as my closest friends keep reminding me, I'm trying to just enjoy the moment and time together and laughter. It certainly is better than the angst I felt being alone.
  5. JeanGenie

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    Rob, Thank you for sharing and your advise. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that this happened because I thought better of him (and fell for all his sweet nothings), but I guess it does happen. It's just so hard to comprehend when I think about him and our conversations. I appreciate your advise though because, as one of good friends here knows, it is difficult for me not to let him back into my life and heart. But my head knows better and it is through my very close friends that they will remind me and keep me from getting hurt again. Right now that just seems hard to do, but I'm trying to be strong.
  6. JeanGenie

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    Okay, I can't believe I'm posting here. I have read some of the early posts when I wasn't ready for online dating. In the new year I activated various accounts (yes more than one). I did not take this very seriously and just laughed at some of the initial messages I got. Yes, there was the "hi sweetie" in a first message...total turnoff for me. Or how when we were going to meet for coffee he couldn't wait to hold my hand and steal a kiss. Needless to say, we never met for coffee. Then there was the guy who said I put up more walls than Trump! That made me laugh....and I told him he could move on. So I was proud of myself that I was approaching this with a good sense of humor and with my eyes wide open for potential scammers. I then met a guy a month ago. We met for a drink and there was mutual attraction and we had good conversation and laughed a lot. He was a gentleman and asked to give me a hug that first night as he walked me to my car which I allowed him to do and we agreed we'd like to see each other again. He was a daily texter and I definitely liked the attention. He was sweet and we had playful flirting while at the same time he understood I was taking things slow. He was very respectful in that way. We talked on the phone often and saw each other in person two more times over the first two weeks. Everything he told me about himself checked out (yes, I did my online research, etc.). I was moving very cautiously. The past two weeks we weren't able to see each other either due to work or commitments both of us had and over the past two weekends we were both away (I had the commitments as much as he did so it wasn't just him.) We talked as recent as late last week and said we were exclusive. We stayed in touch over the weekend, including sending kissy emoticons, looking forward to a date this past Wed. Then, for reasons I still don't know, we never got together on Wed. He didn't commit to a time and I wasn't going to sit by the phone waiting. We texted later in the evening and agreed to meet or talk on Thursday about what happened. We were planning to get together Thurs evening and his text were just as sweet as they were previously. I received my last text from him at 2:30 on Thursday. I texted him and called him Thurs PM. Nothing. I then sent my last text to him Friday morning. I guess this is the *poof" thing some of you have mentioned. It's so weird though. If it was just texting, I could get it. But we had seen each other several times, we talked on the phone, we both admitted there was mutual attraction. He told me so much about himself, details that I couldn't believe he was sharing so early on in our "relationship"...and we live in the same town, we both know where each other lives, so to go "poof" is so weird because it's likely we can run into each other. I still can't wrap my head around it. I did open my heart and I know now I can. And as I told my closest friends who knew about him, I was so smitten and it appeared he was with me as well. Although I thought I knew him, I did know a lot about him, but how well can you really know a person? They let you know what they want to know. Needless to say, I've closed down my online accts for now. I am so gun shy and hurt and sad. I thought I did all I was supposed to do to protect my heart. And I was so careful to not let him in. I mean, yes, is 2 weeks or 4 weeks enough time to get to know someone? Who knows? What is? But knowing what I know about him, to just blow me off that way, just totally shocked me. But I guess it's better than I know now rather than later. Anyhow, for those of you with experience, please share your words of advise. I'm still hurting and still glance at my phone, missing his texts or phone calls. I know we've all been through worse and so this too will pass. But geesh, how do you open your heart and how do you meet someone other than online. Running into someone at church, at the grocery store, or through a mutual friend doesn't seem to be working. On a related note, I never thought I'd be posting in this forum...being open to dating to meeting someone new. So I guess, all in all, this is a giant step for me since I've learned I am open to meeting someone new and that I would like to have someone special in my life. AND, as hurt as I feel today, I was VERY happy these past 4 weeks and I now know I can be that happy again and that I can feel attracted and giddy like a schoolgirl....I didn't know whether those feelings would have surface again. So I guess I've learned, I'm open to new possibilities, which I guess is a good thing.
  7. Well here we all are...the end of another year and soon to be the start of another. Last year at this time I started a "gratitude jar". There are pieces of paper in that jar, so I guess there were some good things in my life that were noteworthy this past year. I'm hoping reading through them will remind me of what they were because some days it is hard to remember anything "good". In terms of New Year's Eve plans, for me it is usually spent home alone, watching the ball drop on TV (assuming I stay awake), and texting friends. This year a couple girlfriends are coming for a sleepover and we'll watch the ball drop and I'll text New Year's wishes to my distant friends. What do others have planned? Whatever it is, I wish you all a peaceful evening and gentle memories of the past year and hopeful wishes for the new year. Happy New Year!
  8. JeanGenie

    One good thing/One thing I'm thankful for

    My son and that he'll be coming home this evening and will stay through Sunday. Like Captains wife, we are very close and he has helped keep me going as well. Although he's an adult living on his own, I cherish the time we get together and the fact that we truly "like" each other and, like my husband, we can usually read each other's minds!
  9. JeanGenie

    One good thing/One thing I'm thankful for

    I'm thankful that today was a stress-free day at work, that I have the next 6 days off from work, and I get paid for it! So, yes, today I'm thankful for my job even though it helped push me over the edge just a couple weeks ago!
  10. JeanGenie

    One good thing/One thing I'm thankful for

    Since I started this, I guess I need to keep it up and try to post something daily at least through Thanksgiving... Today, I'm thankful the power outage in our neighborhood lasted only a few hours and the tree that came down wasn't in my yard since I always whine how everything seems to happen to me. I'm reminded that is not always the case as I drive by their house and they now have a downed tree in their front yard that needs to be dealt with.
  11. Yes, I know we have a topic called "Three good things" but sometimes it is difficult to come up with three things. So in the spirit of the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday and with the hopes of inspiring folks to post, I thought I'd start this thread. Can you come up with one good thing or one thing you're thankful for each day through at least Thanksgiving (which is Thursday, Nov 23)? Let's give it a try! If I see lots of views and no posts, I'll be bummed since everyone can play along no matter where you are on this journey. I'll start... I'm thankful for the very close friends I've made as a result of this board and that they were there to help me out of my funk this past week. Life is looking better today. Okay, who's next?
  12. JeanGenie

    Sexy Widowed Saturday Night!

    A chilly fall evening here. Made some polish food for dinner, have my pj's on, doing some prep for beef stew that I'll make tomorrow, and then will settle in to watch tonight's Hallmark movie. Good thing I've got a DVR because I can't keep up with TWO new Hallmark movies each weekend!!
  13. JeanGenie

    First Special Day Without Her

    Jondrisko, I'm glad you found this board and posted. As you read what others have posted, you will find what you are experiencing, others have as well. Yes, supposed friends go back to their normal lives and what we've all unfortunately learned is that until you experience this, you just don't get it. Your relationships will continue to change and evolve...it's simply part of this crappy process. The same is true about what you experienced with your hike and then returning home. But keep doing what you're doing. Going for the hike clearly gave you a reprieve. It's all just part of the process. I hope you continue to post and find support from us here. Hugs to you...
  14. I know I am lucky that DH survived to see my son's graduation from college and see him get his first "real" job and first apartment. Yes, there are still future moments in his life he will miss, but he saw most of the major ones and, again, I know I'm "lucky" in that way. The old couples, on the other hand....it triggers the same emotions the rest of you are experiencing. I resent their happiness and many years together. At church, on occasion, they recognize significant anniversaries...I find it difficult to clap and instead find myself questioning "why are they so lucky and not me?" and I get angry and jealous. I am envious that they have each other to care for as they grow old. Thankfully my DH had me to care for him and he never had to worry about who was going to care for him in his old age since that never came. This is one of my greatest fears, though, that I'll be alone and have no one who loves me to care for me as I grow old. So either I can hope to die before my health begins to fail or I guess that's sadly why you can hire PCAs...
  15. JeanGenie

    The worst night I’ve had in a long while

    MissingSquish, Just letting you know you're being heard. As others have said, work stress can trigger all kinds of emotions. I had the same problem last Friday (I'm 4.5 yrs out). I was feeling overwhelmed and stressed at work and then one more thing happened at home and it triggered a total meltdown one of the worse that I haven't experienced in a while. The good news is that by Tuesday of this week, I was through it. But it was through the support of close friends who listened to my crazy ranting that helped me survive. So rant away and know we're here. {{Hugs}}

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
  • Cause of death
    Colon Cancer

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