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Portside

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  1. Portside

    My Daughter doesn't like my NG

    See, here's the thing. You didn't make your kid do that. She did it on her own. Perhaps there was a better way to handle the news NG is moving in. Who knows? I won't presume to understand the workings of the mind of a 16 yr old young woman. As Julester3 stated, she is PO'd and doesn't even understand herself. Yeah, see if someone else can talk some sense into her. But, whatever you do, don't knuckle under and let your daughter (or any of your children for that matter) drive you into decisions and actions that you don't want to do. She can't be left to feel she is in charge. The last part of your post seemed to suggest you got sucked into arguing with her and defending yourself. Screw that. You're in charge. When you are in command, command. Good luck - Mike
  2. Portside

    OT Prayers please

    Of course! Hopefully a speedy and full recovery are in the cards. Prayers also for your Mom, I can only imagine how hard this is for her too. 🙏
  3. Portside

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    I think it's great you had a good time. Ok, not the guy for you for a bunch of reasons - but you had fun and discovered you CAN enjoy the feelings associated with dating. Wonderful! (You didn't start the debate, btw - I did. :) ) I seem to have that knack. Best wishes - Mike
  4. Portside

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    Abitlost,/LF, I hear you but I honestly think you guys are truly ignoring my point. It's okay. I'm not here to change anyone's mind. Simply to offer a different perspective than what might be the usual view. The OP needs to make her decision and go forward with it. I wish her, and you all, well. Dating, I gather from reading all the stories over the years, can be difficult and tiring. Mine was not - maybe I was lucky. My approach to people, and to dating, certainly isn't for everyone. But it worked. I had a ball doing it. I do find it interesting that many posters here feel that any deviation from the truth, whether large or small, when dating, is indicative of some other unknown character flaw. I would be sad if that is how I approached the bulk of humanity. Of course, some things would cause me to bail, others would not. The specific age situation the OP listed would not. But, to each their own. Good luck! Mike
  5. Portside

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    Okay, how about a thought experiment for all those folks who suggest a fib on one part of your profile suggests you are not to be trusted or need to be looked at with a sceptical eye. While dating, I saw of woman that seemed interesting. She had posted a profile pic of her from the waist up. Lovely woman and the rest of the profile seemed fine to me. We made a date, I went and it turns out she was wheelchair bound. Hell of a nice gal. An exceptional, accomplished person. Not a word about her disability in her profile. However, in my profile I said I was looking for an athletic, active woman. Was she deceitful? If so, was that indicative of some other big whoppers? What else is she hiding - right? For me it was not - this wonderful woman knew that many, if not most guys would have blown her off and never given her a chance. And she wanted a chance to make a good first impression. Which she did. In spades. I was the small-minded one saying I desired an "athletic, active woman". (We discontinued dating because she found her forever guy. My loss.) Best wishes - Mike
  6. Portside

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    Oh, that's easy. It's because some folks put age limits as part of their *must haves* and he knows that there are some women that would not meet him simply because he has seen more earth revolutions around the sun than others. In short, yes, I think you are overreacting. This is nothing. I've never known women to fib about their age so there's that. Since In other aspects, you seemed to like him - go for it. I'd give this a pass. It doesn't mean a damn thing about his character. Little white lies in the pursuit of goodness are nothingburgers. Good luck - Mike
  7. Portside

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    Have you considered asking out one or two of the ladies that don't turn your crank initially? You may be surprised at what you discover. Effective profiles are notoriously difficult to write. Perhaps some of the women don't appeal to you due to a incomplete, poorly written profile. I went on more blind dates than ones I set up. And I never turned down a requested date from another. I called it kamikaze dating - I really had no idea of what to expect many times. It was fun!
  8. I dunno. Maybe I've developed an immunity to that feeling. I suppose I have made my peace with rough things happening at some point. Everyone I love will eventually die. Not according to any discernible plan I can see of course. I try not to fear the inevitable - I won't live in fear of those events. Every time one of the kids or my wife drive off, in the back of my mind I know they might not come back. Heck, I might not.
  9. Portside

    Committed But Not Married (Long)

    1. Your (and your Sweetie's) business. 2. For me, I wouldn't call myself and Sweetie *husband and wife*. But hey, that's me. 3. I would attend. I want to share in my kin and friends happiness. 4. Nope - My wife and I are in close to similar circumstances but just a few years younger. My wife's health is very fragile. If she goes before me, I may possible make the choice you are. 5. See #2 above. 6. Hmmmm. Good question. At our ages, BF/GF sounds weird and 'partner' would be ridiculous for me. I dunno, Main Squeeze? Good luck you crazy kids!!
  10. Portside

    Struggling with the term widow

    Hi RAC - please accept my deepest sympathies on the passing of your partner. One thing to be aware of - this forum is a very tiny slice of widows/widowers and an even tinier part of the general public. And while the owners of the site and many posters have no issues as to who uses the term widow while here, the public at large is not so inclined. Indeed, many widows/widowers are even more restrictive about who calls themselves what outside the protected bounds of this site. I don't mention this to discourage you - not at all. State your status as you wish. My point is simply to let you know you will eventually run into folks irl that will take issue with your choice of descriptor (and possibly take you to task for it). Sorry, that is just the way it is. Choice of any one word over another does not diminish your hurt in any way. Time will ease your pain eventually - but it sure as hell doesn't seem like it right now. Best wishes - Mike
  11. Portside

    Update

    If it was me, I'd simply let the truth come out without my help. It always does anyway. Why continue to tie yourself into his drama when you are successfully putting much of it behind you. Please don't let this unfortunate series of events cause you to never trust anyone else. That course may have the effect of blocking you from befriending some other great guy or potential gal pal. It gives dirtbag power over the rest of your life. I know you don't really want that. Good luck - Mike
  12. Portside

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    Yes it hurts but you have to shake it off. In the back of your mind you knew this was a very real possibility. If this is the way she feels, and it appears it is, she isn't the one for you. Sorry my man but this is just the way it is. Stand up, dust yourself off, and walk boldly back into the fray. Good luck - Mike
  13. Portside

    The Day You Were Called Home

    Very nice. Mike
  14. Portside

    The priorities of love.....

    I tried to read the article but Mr. Fay lost me when he stated, in his opinion, many guys put their favorite activity at the top of the priorities. The rest of the list that he attributes to married men is all out of whack too. If that is the case with the men he knows, he needs to seek the company of grownups. Maybe even those that have Faith in the mix as an overarching principle. Still, we all have our priority list and you are correct, the death of your husband threw your hierarchy into turmoil. All big life events do. Others, such as major illness, the birth of a child, job loss, a move, securing daycare, senior parents, etc. will impact the list as well. The essence of being an adult may be to evaluate the hierarchy as it changes over time, and come to a resolution of the new state of the list and go from there. There is probably no avoiding the hierarchy changes. But that is not to say the reordering of the list cannot be lived with successfully (and happily). We do it all the time even if we don't know we do. It is a disruption, to be sure. You can do this tybec. God knows it is hard work, but if both you and NG work hard at working with each others list, if the differences are not too great, a joyous relationship and life can be had. p.s. - my now wife was done raising her children when we met. I had two under 10. Wildly divergent places in our respective lives. She was caring for a dying parent already. Ten years later, I am. It's working out because we want it to and both of us are pretty flexible. And because Faith is at the top of both of our hierarchy lists. Good luck! Mike
  15. Portside

    Big decisions by yourself

    Not necessarily. A rental contract (lease) does not automatically transfer to the new owner of a property. It depends on State and local laws and ordinances. Normally, A third party (new owners) cannot be made part of an existing contract (lease) without ALL original parties being in agreement. Here's the thing - check this out thoroughly before counting on it. It seems simple but it may not be. (I'm not convinced Judge Judy should be taken as Gospel.) Good luck - Mike

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