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  • Date Widowed
    November 3rd, 2014
  • Cause of death
    Pulmonary Embolism / Diabetes Type 1

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  1. Something I wrote last year, expressing my new disdain of autumn, which ironically was once my favorite season... The first brisk winds of Autumn Yield a jealous breeze of frost For a flawless leaf now fallen And her grieving tree so lost A season of birth, Fall covets For its rival is the Spring So boasts a splendor of red & gold Yet death is all it brings The demand of twilights burden Now a blight upon this tree Once full of life and budding fruit …reduced to withering
  2. It's been close to a year since I've posted. It too, has been one year and nine months since my wife died. I usually say passed or passed away, but you guys understand the ugly truth of died. For me, this place has the atmosphere of a dim lit basement morgue, it always depresses me. Yet i know, you're the only ones who understand me. I so resent this grief becoming a part of my identity, me becoming a mere shadow and now nothing more than a recluse in my own home at the age of 42. At least the first year is over.
  3. "All My Life", from ELO's new album, Alone In The Universe
  4. I appreciate your very kind words. So, I've found a 'GriefShare' group to attend. It starts tomorrow night. I'm not the 'group' type of person (INFP), so it's a really big deal for me. It's about twenty-five miles from home, about twelve to twenty people attending (hopefully a good age range). I just need to try something different, it has to be worth a shot.
  5. Thanks for all the encouraging words. Gracelet, I'm so very sorry for your struggle, your daily battle; I know it's hard. As for my father in law, I didn't know him for many, many years; but the time we shared, I knew him as family. He was caring, affectionate and heartfelt. He was quick to make me feel part of his family and always treated me as a friend and a son. In the last year he was someone I could lean on and depend on. We grieved together, cried together and tried our best to encourage one another as we dared to walk through this difficult season without ?our girl?. And just
  6. This is currently a song I listen to over and over... and over. All That I Have Sown - Bebo Norman I believe when they put her in the ground I think they buried part of me Because I've been searching, I've been looking all around But I cannot find the heart of me, the heart of me So I'll put my fingers in this soil upon her grave And I will plant for her a garden And every flower, a reminder of her face Will grow up graceful as a pardon And all that grows is her story told As life unfolds here before us The peace I've found in this broken ground I
  7. My first post in the '6 to 12 Months' forum. Seven months, one day to be exact. It's been a few months since I've been on here. My stepdaughter and I moved last month to a new house. I guess I don't have to tell you guys how hard it was living there or how hard it was leaving there. Nonetheless it needed to happen. We love our new house and neighborhood. Bella's boyfriend is just two blocks down the street. They started 'dating' a week before her mother passed. My wife, Chanty, adored the kid. So it's really helped Bella through these difficult times. She's 16 btw. I've been very
  8. Having one of those horrible nights, all this evening (out of nowhere). Been doing so well the last week or so. Just waves of sadness, grief and tears. I just want to see her.
  9. Yes! It definitely was a collaborative effort with us at the Widdas Gone Wild Bago. We adopted the gesture as our "gang" symbol. I took it a step further and asked my good friend, Judah, at judahcreative.com to digitize our sign into a logo. He took our idea and came up with the heart with the crossed fingers to add to it. I loved it! Threw some cash at him and received the logo as my own. I am glad everyone likes it! And no, it is not a play on the word Wicca, To me, the heart represents the love we have for our widda family...the struggles that we help carry each other through...the m
  10. Another 'four month-er'. I'm at four months and thirteen days (November 3rd). I'm not exactly sure when I stopped crying 'every' day. The first couple of weeks all I did was cry. Before this happened, I couldn't tell you the last time I cried. It had definitely been a while. The next few weeks the tears were on and off, though the pain was immeasurable. I went back to work, but the shock of it all left me mostly numb, depressed and sick to my stomach. My fifteen year old step-daughter decided she wanted to live with me and that blessed me beyond measure. Her sixteenth birthday was a we
  11. Very nice logo. Just found the actual logo on this company's website, under 'Logo Design'... http://www.judahcreative.com/portfolio/ So, being new to all of this, apparently I'm not familiar with all the lingo. Is "Widda" an acronym or is it just slang or ebonics for 'Widow'?
  12. A few photo's of my girl. Some early pics from our high school days and a bit more recent. <3
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