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skipd

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  1. My house is currently under contract. My wife passed about 10 weeks ago and I have had that same practicality you speak of. I met someone new and her first time over it clicked that I had to sell it to move on. It hurts to think about because it feels like I'm ridding myself of everything my wife and I spent 10 years creating. I do not look forward to the final walk through after all items are in the moving truck. I feel your pain. It is good that you recognize it though and realize that new goals, your goals, are more important than holding onto the property that ultimately no longer fits your future.
  2. I really just wanted to share this story. Sometime in the spring last year, a coworker of mine lost her child at birth. It was quite devastating for her, and shortly after we gave birth to my daughter with no complications. The day after, another friend of ours had a baby and both her and the baby almost died, spending 3 weeks in the hospital each before being released. We counted our blessings. I never knew how to approach my coworker after that. I kind of avoided her as I could, but it wasn't too difficult a task. However, I sought her out today. As I walked into her classroom, she greeted me with a smile and almost instantly teared up. We talked for over an hour about processing the loss and grief in general. I spoke freely, as did she, and even brought up the above scenarios to her. Even though the losses are different, the grief is binding now. In a world of DGI, I think I may have found a very close new friend that will be mutually beneficial for the both of us. Today was her first day back after taking a few months off for counseling, so we are both somewhat starting this new chapter together.
  3. Why not something as simple as miniature golf, or a billiards hall during mid-day hours? I find the latter to be very relaxing since the place is usually quite empty and the activity tends to eliminate any awkward silence. If she makes you feel like a kid, then play like a kid. I don't like movies for dates. Never have and never will. Movies are what you do on the umpteenth date when you know the person and just want to go have a good time together. In the beginning, I want to get to know the person and not have some false sense of who they are because of limited lines of conversation. Other ideas could be art festivals or a walk around downtown followed by dinner.
  4. My wife died suddenly and unexpectedly. We had a lot of turbulence heading into the day she died. My grandmother was on her death bed, I thought I had a broken foot, the work at home was piling up, and we were eating poorly due to the time sink our lives had become. I found out after her death that she had not slept for two nights. Apparently she was cramming for the final and spending her sleep time taking care of the baby. She never let me know the baby was awake. I don't know that I'm angry at my wife, but I am disappointed that she did not key me in and let me help her. I feel that if she had let me, she would still be here today. I'm still waiting on the toxicology report to confirm my suspicions, but I have a feeling she died because she took on everything and wouldn't let anyone help. Now I'm 'stuck' doing it all myself and I don't know how that is going to hold up once I get back to work. If our spouses knew what we know now, there is no doubt they would have done things differently. I choose not to focus on hindsight. There are so many things that could have been done differently, but how could you or he know the consequences at the time?
  5. Come What May from Moulin Rouge. It was my wife and I's favorite movie, this our favorite song. If you haven't heard it, you should give it a listen. Never knew I could feel like this Like I've never seen the sky before Want to vanish inside your kiss Every day I love you more and more Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing? Telling me to give you everything Seasons may change, winter to spring But I love you until the end of time Come what may, come what may I will love you until my dying day Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste It all revolves around you And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide But I love you, I love you Until the end of time (Until the end of time) Come what may, come what may I will love you until my dying day Oh, come what may, come what may I will love you, I will love you Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place Come what may, come what may I will love you until my dying day
  6. Thanks CAgirl. 5 seems like such a tough age for this to happen... not that any age is easy. They are just forming longlasting childhood memories and really already have that strong bond with the parent.
  7. Thanks to everyone for the replies. Helena, I'm sorry to hear that. I find the grieving process for me to fall more under my son than for myself. It pains me to no end that he lost his world. My daughter was already drawn more to me than my wife, so that makes things a bit easier there. However, it still hurts that she will never know her mother outside of trinkets and pictures. She was a great woman - I was the envy of many of my male friends and even gave one hope that he could find someone for himself. She never said no to anything, but always asked for me to think things through. On her list of importance, I think she fell last. Unfortunately, I fear that may be what cost her her life. I hope you are able to cope while taking care of those children. There are many widows and widowers, but each one I know looks at me with complete loss on what to say because of the young chidren. It is a unique situation - one that I feel makes it that much more difficult to address your own emotions.
  8. Hello everyone. I'm Skip and I am a 30 year old widower. My wife passed away unexpectedly about 3 weeks ago, leaving me with a 5 year old son and 8 month old daughter. I've mourned her, but started the process of moving on rather quickly. I am glad this site is here as it gives me even more peace that this is not abnormal. In particular, the posts of reality shocks months down the road struck a note. My wife was 31 and in her first year of law school. She was studying for the last final she had to take and collapsed in the school library, never to be recovered. We were working our way through a 10 year plan an were 4 years through. Unfortunately, this has left me in a world of hurt, not only emotionally, but financially. My son is suffering the most. She was everything to him and he to her. She was the mother every child deserved. I sadly am a part of this community now, and I would greatly appreciate any guidance from those who have experienced a loss at such a young age with such young children.
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