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Thank you all. Yes, it was YWBB. The connections and support I got from that site literally saved me. No one understood what I was going through except people who were also on that chat site. I was so devastated when I went down without warning. So all these years later I found my way out of the Abyss, have remarried, but still miss the husband I lost at age 48. I feel like I have to hide that he existed because I can never talk about him or my grief to my husband. It's an ongoing process. I really have no right to complain because my life is pretty good now, and those newly widowed are suffering so. I'm here to help anyone who is newly widowed since I am 10 years out. Pease ask me for anything

I'm not sure if I have the right to post on this site because so many of you are newly widowed. When I was widowed at age 48 with 2 children under age 10, I was saved by a chat room like this one. Then one day, when I needed it most, the site was gone, most uncerimonioulsy. So I will tread lightly, but I still need support. Thank you.

Thanks for asking. My boys are 17 and 10, hard to believe. They are doing well. The younger boy doesn't remember much of his father. When I got engaged in 2011, my older boy was ecstatic about having a father again. My husband is amazing with the boys......he raised three boys of his own. I just feel that I cannot ever speak of my late husband because I don't think it would be fair to my husband now. I have 20+ years of memories that I can't talk to anyone about. No reminiscing, or laughing about the old days. That's what hurts the most.

Where to start, while being sensitive of those new to grief. I belonged to a widowed too young site, which was unceremoniously, "after pouring my most inner thoughts and feelings to", shut down. So, my husband of 20 years died, unexpectedly at age 48. We were soul mates, married for 20 years. We adopted our boys, as newborns. Our boys whom, we adopted after years of infertility treatments, surgeries, miscarriages and heartache were the center of our lives. When we adopted our boys, as newborns, the feeling my husband and I felt for each other and our boys was utterly overwhelming. We were over the moon! When Steve died, I took a leave of absence from my demanding job, telling my superiors that I was so "shell shocked" that I couldn't form a sentence. After all this and much more, How could our journey towards parenthood, our triumph over infertility prevail? I have been in the depths of grief and despair. I have wailed incessantly, to the point where I have dialed the suicide hotline to hear a human voice who soothed me. So, after 6 years without him, I am now remarried to a wonderful, amazing man I went to high school with. Still, every single day and night, I grieve. I cry in silence so my husband doesn't hear. I convey my thoughts and words not to discourage new beginnings. We must look forward