Mac

10 years, this past June. Things are going well. I became a grandpa 2 years ago, so much fun!

I'm Mac, haven't been here for awhile. My wife of 28 years passed in 2012. Since then both of our children have graduated from college, and have gotten married. I just became a grandfather for the first time. Things are going well for me, grateful for that. So much to experience during these past 8 years. Being a widower isn't as much of my identity now, compared to the first 6 years or so. Wishing everyone a sense of peace.

Rob, I just saw your post. Wishing you peace, wishing all the best for you. Mac

I made sure that people knew that I was widowed from the start. I'd rather scare them off at the beginning than later on. Once I did begin to date, I did share it with my in-laws. They were supportive.

I'm feeling confident on amazing, I hope that it will be true!

My daughter and son have both graduated from college, and they are both doing well. My parental duties have changed in the last couple of years. It certainly does make things more simple.

I think that it is possible to find that again. I do believe that we can have more than one "soul mate" on this earth. Finding them, that can be a different story, no guarantees there.

Finding love is easier than finding that let's live under the same roof kind of person. It's easy to be comfortable, perhaps there's nothing wrong with that. But wouldn't it be amazing to find that person, where we couldn't imagine not spending every day of our life with them! We had it before, I believe that it is possible to have it again!

Congratulations @RobFTC!

It’s been just over 6 years for me. I started dating after 1 year. Re-coupling was more of a priority for me then. Plus there was some excitement about meeting women after being faithfully married for 28 years. I didn’t know what to expect in that department. Fortunately, with time I did discover that it was easy for me to meet women. Clients of mine introduced me to their friends. I’ve had a good response online. I thought that perhaps I had found “the one” with my first relationship. In hindsight, I still had much healing left to do and did need to be more “grounded.” That relationship lasted 9 months. I remember what my neighbor said to me at about the one year mark, “Mac so many men remarry within the first year or two, but I don’t see you doing that. You and Cindy were such a great couple, but you were both so independent.” Those words have proven to be very true. I’ve been in one other relationship and that one didn’t work out either. Life is good these days. There is a sense of normality in my life on so many levels, although it still is hard to believe that Cindy isn’t here. My family life is good. My children are doing well and we are doing well as a family. In many ways it is hard for me to plan for the future, as compared to how things were in the past. I am happy most days. By choice, I’ve not entered into another relationship since my last one ended 7 months ago. I think that it would take a very unique woman for me to be compatible with her in terms of living together and/or marriage. I seem less willing than others to “give and take.” I seem to be less willing to relocate than I was before. I am cautious about disappointing anyone else, although I do realize that it does come with the territory at times. I’ve been making some new friendships with women through some of the volunteer work that I do. But for now, they are only friendships. I am very hesitant to enter into another relationship. I’m not worried about my future, I trust that it will be good. I am content to live the rest of my life without a significant other. I do think that it would be wonderful to find someone, but I don’t appear to be willing to put much work into making that happen.

I realize that this doesn't do justice to the depth of our feelings, but these are some of my random thoughts right now. This doesn't even begin to justice about how it is for me, but it is on my mind right now. Two do become one on so many levels, Cindy and I were married for 28 years! So cut off my right arm, wow is that painful. This is the arm that did most everything for me. So yes, with time, that pain of losing my right arm is not as bad. I have grown use to accommodating for it, but I still feel that loss on a daily basis. I do feel as if I am very functional. I am grateful that I have found a sense of peace, even though so much is missing. I am keenly aware of this most every day.

Some friends of mine just returned from a memorial service. I had met the woman before, she was super nice. She passed away at age 54, one year younger than Cindy. Her memorial service included music and dancing, I really like the idea of that! I shared this with my daughter and her husband when I picked them up at the airport last night. Her response, "Dad, what's your playlist?"❤️

"Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve." Dr. Earl A. Grollman

"Dear Mariella I am a widower who is ready to date and ultimately marry again, but I don't meet available women of the right age. I find online dating sites too artificial, and I feel incredibly stuck. Any suggestions?" https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/mar/14/mariella-frostrup-widower-marry-online-dating

I'm glad to hear that @Eddienhp I remember how happy I was, when I felt as if I was finally able to accept this new life. I was doing what I thought was best at the time, and perhaps what I thought that I was supposed to do in my mind. It was nice not to feel very much sadness anymore. But there has been such a huge shift over the past 6 months. Being a bit more proactive on making even more cool things happen. Worrying even less about my future. Feeling so very optimistic about my future, whatever it might be!