ScorpioGirl

Thanks for all the honest advice....I appreciate it. So....I bit the bullet and confessed to him how I feel. That I want to spend more time with him (out of bed) and get to know him better, and most importantly that I'm not interested in looking for anyone else because I like him...and I love how he makes me feel. He didn't really say much, not that he feels the same but he did say that he wants something more than casual, that he would like us to be exclusive seeing each other, and he is keen to spend time together. So I'm glad I talked to him, I don't for 100% know what will happen with us but I feel like we will be able to give it the best chance now anyway. I feel like the pressure is off me and I can just relax and enjoy him.

My husband died May 2015. In the last few months I started to feel like I would like to meet someone, mainly for company, friendship, intimacy. I tried online but didn't meet anyone I felt like I wanted to pursue. While online I came across a man who used to work with my husband so he kind of knows me but not well. So...as it turns out neither of us are online or seeing anyone else and for a while we have been getting together for sex. Not just sex...there is chatting, cuddling, spending time. His view is that he's happy to continue a physical relationship 'until' I meet someone I want to date. The trouble is, and I'm sure this happens all the time, of course I have deeper feelings for him and I'm really not interested in the slightest of looking for someone else. Plus....the sex is out of this world....I had only slept with my husband so not much experience to compare it to but I can't imagine it getting any better. So what do I do? Tell him how I feel and risk him freaking and bolting....or just carry it on and maybe get my heart broken? I guess I was a bit naive and thought I could handle it but looks like I was wrong.

Fuck the stupid lights in the bathroom I can't fucking fix myself so I've been showering in the dark all week. Fuck my so-called friends who don't even fucking care or ask how I am now - too busy living their fucking perfect lives. Fuck my annoying MIL who rings me constantly for support, ring your other two children and leave me the fuck alone! Fuck that telemarketer who rang here last night to speak to my husband - you can't he's fucking dead. I should also tell myself off for being a terrible fucking mother who takes my crappy mood out on my kids. They didn't fucking ask for this shitty life either.

SoVerySad - you are so lucky, manly hugs are the best. I would love to be wrapped up in a big manly bear hug. Arneal - good luck, it sounds like you could have something amazing with this man. TofinoMan - I always assumed it would be the same, if not worse, for a man alone but I guess you can't stereotype someone's libido based on whether they are male or female. If I ever am lucky enough to find love again I will definitely be making the most of it and not giving away the opportunity to have intimacy. I wish I could turn back the clock and make all of those no's when I was tired, stressed, grumpy into lots of yes's!

My husband died 22 May 2015. Last weekend I was doing some gardening so took my wedding rings off for safe keeping. I haven't put them back on and don't feel like I'm going to. But should I get them resized for my other hand? Or made in to something else? I don't wear any other rings so my hands kind of look and feel naked. What have others done? My husband never wore a ring.

This was the last song my husband learned to play on his guitar.....he was an amazing guitar player. Also the song he chose to have when we carried his casket out. I have never heard it until last week when I was in town at a shop when it came on. I froze, had to dump my shopping and run to the car.

I don't think it's even so much about the physicality (although it would be great!) also about just feeling desired and wanted again.

I've been told to do that too but just don't have the confidence in myself. This is so bad.....there's another family at school who lost their mum earlier this year, I've even thought well he's in the same boat as me so maybe he might be interested.......isn't that terrible. I don't want another husband or boyfriend just a shag!

My husband died about 14 months ago, taking into account the time he was sick I haven't had sex for over two years. I didn't think I would ever even want it again but for the last two months haven't been able to think about anything else! I'm constantly checking out dads at school, male patients, work colleagues......imagining what it would be like. Amazing how badly you want something when it's off the table.