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On line dating vents and laughs......


momtokam
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I don’t think I’ve ever really had a list.... maybe I’ve uttered the words ‘no more musicians!’ more than once; and i admit I’ve never really trusted a man whose too interested in showering me with gifts/compliments. I have, however, noticed that I definitely seem to have a ‘type’.  Apparently, I really enjoy the more complicated and strong-willed men. Judging from my history, I’d say they do seem to truly fascinate me to no end! 🙂 

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On 5/24/2018 at 2:32 PM, arneal said:

Oh yes, tybec -- the 'list' is not in stone for sure. ....

I think we are all closer to agreement than might have been obvious.  I too started with the idea that a widow would be best.  I quickly realized that widows come in every variety and there was really no greater odds that a widow would understand and love me better than any other woman.  I think that is why I resisted putting anything down on a list after that lesson.

 

Bunny:  ‘no more musicians!’ thanks for the chuckle.  I actually heard that a couple times on M&Gs  :D  And like you my only list was a growing list of deal killers.  No more alcoholics, hoarders, borderline personalities, no more than two cats, no less than 3 food groups.

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4 hours ago, Love2fish said:

No more alcoholics, hoarders, borderline personalities, no more than two cats, no less than 3 food groups.

 

Oh man! Love2fish, those are all of my finest qualities! :D

Edited by Peony
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21 hours ago, Peony said:

 

Oh man! Love2fish, those are all of my finest qualities! :D

Very interesting.  Too bad I have ng or I would ask for a meet & greet.  I never met a woman who embodied more than 3 of my 'no mores' :S

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The third m&g has asked to reschedule a day in advance. Which breaks the graph. The second m&g had to cancel a second time. The first m&g has reconnected with me after a week of silence and we are meeting 10 minutes ago. She texted to say she is running late. 

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The one tonight was the realtor. She looked like her picture. It was a nice M&G after the drink I invited her to another restaurant for dinner. We had three hours of conversation and are going out again on Saturday.

 

She canceled last time for a legit reason. But after the cancellation she started thinking about the other two dates she had had with men online where each of them misrepresented who they were and she became anxious about trying a third time. Which is why she went dark for a week before responding. She was very happy that I was honest about everything in my profile. 

Edited by Leadfeather
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Sorry LF - that is so annoying and disrespectful of your time. I don't think its gender specific but part of online dating and busy lifestyles. When I was actively dating, in the initial phases of meeting someone I often had late hour cancellations (usually the morning or afternoon of when we had an after work date). I didn't, though, have many very last minute cancellations. And cancelling last minute needed a pretty good excuse. If was interested, I would give people 2 chances - if they did 2 last minute cancellations in a row, I was done.  I go through a lot to arrange dates given my commute, work, single mother status so if they cant be respective and understanding of that, I don't want to date them ! Wishing you all the best !

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It really is not a big deal for me at this point. I have enough free time that I do not mind rescheduling. I am going into these things with no expectations and that has made it less of an issue. And, I will be honest, the distance I am willing to travel and the number of times I am willing to reschedule is on a sliding scale in direct proportion to how attractive I find that person or at least find that persons photos since you know I have not actually met them. 

Edited by Leadfeather
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Good attitude LF.  I think you just had an unusual unlucky streak.  After 141 M&Gs I don't think I had any last minute cancellations.  Maybe 1/2 doz. late arrivals but 50% of those were my fault so there's no gender bias in that stat.  I'm sure your age is a factor as CW pointed out.  Busy lifestyles for you kids.  The women I was meeting were probably close to your mother's age and I'm sure you will agree that your mother would never weasel out of a date.

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I was looking for guys between 40 and 50 and I got a few cancellations within the day of the M&G, only once under an hour of the date and ghosted left at the meeting place  3 times, so I agree it's common with both genders, not gender specific. I have never cancelled personally. I'm here to date and I was willing to giving anyone a fair shake and a meet. I definitely blame lifestyle of people within that age range and that if they do have kids, it's more common because of logistics based on the age of their kids. 

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On 5/16/2018 at 1:24 PM, Portside said:

While dating, I saw of woman that seemed interesting. She had posted a profile pic of her from the waist up. Lovely woman and the rest of the profile seemed fine to me. We made a date, I went and it turns out she was wheelchair bound. Hell of a nice gal. An exceptional, accomplished person. Not a word about her disability in her profile. However, in my profile I said I was looking for an athletic, active woman.

 

Was she deceitful? If so, was that indicative of some other big whoppers? What else is she hiding - right?

 

For me it was not - this wonderful woman knew that many, if not most guys would have blown her off and never given her a chance. And she wanted a chance to make a good first impression. Which she did. In spades. I was the small-minded one saying I desired an "athletic, active woman".

 

A late reply here ...

 

I don't think this is the worst thing, but I think it's a better idea for her to be up front about her disability.  I know that for some, this would be a non-starter, but I would like a chance to factor this in - and I say that as someone who has dated a couple of women with disabilities.  I think filtering out of idiots earlier might work better for her and lead to less awkwardness.  But it's not a strategy I would have a problem with.

 

Oh, and also - athletic and active is not contraindicated by being a wheelchair user.  Unlike our regrettable president, I find the Paralympics fun to watch.

 

My related experience was with a woman who had lost both legs below the knee to flesh-eating disease.  She didn't disclose it on her dating profile, which is OK per the above.  But even though we talked about her illness, she didn't tell me on our first date about that impact to her.  I saw a news report about her story and her disability between dates, and we talked about it on our second date at my prompting.  I had a problem with her not raising this herself, and ultimately did see some other issues in her personality that lead me not to pursue her.  I don't need four working limbs as much as I need an open and honest soul.

 

Take care,

Rob T

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1 hour ago, RobFTC said:

 

I need an open and honest soul.

 

 

This line here says it all for me! The guy I just divorced promised it was all on the table before we ever married, and guess what? It wasn't! Somethings you just can't find even with investigating, like if they are closet abusers or right out psychopaths….

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  • 4 weeks later...

I still haven't ventured into online dating, but I'm dating. This is really the only dating thread to share in. I had two men who I previously dated ask me to get together this week. Part of me thinks only forward, not backwards. Then part of me thinks it would be fun to go out. 

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Virgo -- why don't you start a new thread for non-online dating vents, laughs, and stories? 😊

 

And good for you, that you are dating! Yes, that is an interesting dilemma about the two formers asking for dates at similar times. Have you asked either of them what's going on in their lives to get a sense of motive? I often wonder if people come back because they see us as 'safe option' for those times in between other dating experiences, or if they are interested but not committed, or something else entirely.

Edited by arneal
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I'm ok posting here since most members are online dating. 

 

I would guess their motivation is familiarity and wanting physical contact. :) The more I think about it,  I think I'll pass. That's not where I'm at. 

Edited by Virgo
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Sure -- although there are folks (I think Leadfeather is one) who prefer meet and greets. Others go to speed dating opportunities. You might get more shout out's than you know 😊

 

That seems wise to pass if you are not desiring just a physical thing and familiar is not enough. Totally get that!

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I miss having someone to share life with. Being half of a couple. Someone who actually cares about me and considers my needs. I take care of everyone else. I need someone to be there for me. My family and friends are amazing, but it's not the same. 

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That is what was getting to me as well Virgo and why I went into dating eventually even though at first I was adamant on staying alone. I realized what I needed and with my girls off to college soon, I would be mostly alone. It motivated me to make an effort. Dating is not without its challenges and jaw dropping stories! I take it as a learning experience. 😉

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