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On line dating vents and laughs......


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7 hours ago, StillWidowed said:

the end goal of getting sex and then disappearing

SW  Do you have the sense that this was a deliberate deception on his part?  I don't doubt that it often is but I am curious about how often it is deliberate deceit vs. how often the "mosting" is a result of love at first sight.  I'm a believer in love at first sight.  My last true love started that way.  

Mea culpa, I've had a few heartbreaks start that way as well but never with the intent to disappear.  Some of us just fall in love too quickly.

Trust me, I am not negating your point of view.  Men are pigs.  Just wondering what the percentages are between players and good guys.

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I know it was a deliberate deception on his part.  My mistake that I left this out.......everything centered around sex.  Conversations in person, via text, telephone.  All sex.  He pushed the subject constantly.  It was very clear after a week what he was crazy about and it wasn't me.  It was what I could offer him from the waist down.  

Edited by StillWidowed
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I think a lot of people believe in love at first sight, especially men. If all he talked about was sex though I highly doubt that was the case. My LH said it was love at first sight for him. It wasn't for me. I think there can be an instant connection, but love grows. I've had this conversation multiple times with male and female friends. It's interesting hearing everyone's opinions on the topic.

 

I've been seeing someone exclusively for a little over a month now. It's moving faster than I typically do, but it feels very comfortable. Almost to good to be true. He believes in love at first sight. :)

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That's awesome Virgo.  And I knew two weeks after I met DH, and so did he.  But there was no push to jump in the sack right away.  I knew he was genuinely interested in me.  It's a gut thing, and I'm going to listen to it.  Oh, and he texted me again, with no change on his part.  Just taking my temperature to see if I'd changed my mind and was panicking because he'd disappeared.  I made it very clear, I had not!

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He sounds persistent, wow! Tell him to lose your number. 

 

My guy told me last night that I really need to learn how to relax. That I don't have to do everything by myself anymore. 

 

It has been so long since someone has really considered my needs. It feels good. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Ok, friended guy on FB.  Scammers abound on dating site.  He is legit.  We have a common friend. Guy is just chatting. Not really stating he wants to date me. We have some political views that do not align.  So, he still is texting.  But this week, asks for pics.  Um, I have plenty on my FB page.  No NOW pics.  Nope, in bed right now.  I like those kind.  This quickly changes to him asking me sexually explicit things.  I am not a prude, but really!  No face to face yet and jump there.  I don't know much at all about him.

So, ditched him.  I am not going to be some guys rub out.  GEEZ!  Do they think you don't mean what you say?  

 

Not for the faint of heart.  I am laughing with friends about it.  I sent screenshots of many to my friends.  Do they look at the pics they post?  my world.....

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  • 2 weeks later...

Virgo, I go thru those phases.  Depends on how much energy I have.  I went out with a guy that is 12 years younger than me on Saturday night.  Zzzzzzzzz  couldn't get out of the restaurant fast enough.  There was a guy next to us and we chatted some about the Titans Ravens game.  Here he's on the dating site, messaged me the next day, and asked me out.  Pretty funny, but not my type.  I date now just for something to do :) 

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I let my subscription go and canceled. I had one date, and he was all over me. And then most of  the men I talked to went straight to sex talk. And a few I chatted with that seemed like good options were so busy with their lives, I did not understand how they could be on a site.  A nice widower but he had 8 kids, 8 kids I say. His mother had moved in to help him care as he internationally traveled for work.   Nope, too much.  And I had a nice man who I finally pulled from him he was disabled and living with his mother who needed assistance.  NO, I was a care taker for 11 yrs. to my mother, the last 5 yrs. by myself.  Not ready to take on someone else's mother and him, possibly, too. And then I had the stalker guy that would not take no for an answer. He had lived in the same town I am in prior and contacted me on the site he was here on a Friday and wanted to meet me for lunch to talk.  This was after 3 weeks prior I said no thanks, and he kept texting me wanting an explanation, and then I blocked him after still saying no thank you.  I spoke to him twice on the phone. Never said anything sexy, just was polite, trying to get to know him. He freaked me out some.  A break for a bit. Get my head on straight. Do some things for my health and then I will see. 

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  • 4 weeks later...

I'm still on my break too. Just focusing on home improvement projects and myself. I occasionally go out on lunch dates, but I'm not looking for it to progress into anything. It's just food with company for me at this point. 

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

I'm still enjoying seeing my lunch date guy. I think we're both very guarded and like the slow pace.

 

Mr. To Good To Be True has contacted me a few times since I walked away from him. Not interested. That whole situation with him is why I'm so hesitant to date anyone. 

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What are you doing to prepare for the pandemic?

We’ve all seen the panic buying, stocking up on essentials.  A run on Purell, a run on toilet paper, a run on paper towels.

I now report there is a run on widowers in progress.  I’ve had more profile visits and serious flirts today, 3/14/20, than I had in the last two months. 

I think this says something about us as humans.

and I like it

 

For some reason i think it fits with this

Quote

“Oh, you tears,
I'm thankful that you run.
Though you trickle in the darkness,
You shall glitter in the sun.
The rainbow could not shine if the rain refused to fall;
And the eyes that cannot weep are the saddest eyes of all.”
 Charles Mackay

 

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12 hours ago, Love2fish said:

What are you doing to prepare for the pandemic?

 

It’s kinda funny, we have been stocking up one step ahead of everyone else because we decided to self-segregate while my boyfriend goes through cancer treatment during the cold and flu season- so there were no shortages or long lines for us! But we did decide to beef things up a bit more with this new added element. He lived in Italy for many years and keeps in touch so we take this very seriously as we hear their experiences from afar. I am thankful for our big yard, the warming weather to enjoy it again, and for all the food it provides us. 

 

I hope all of you singles stay safe out there- perhaps a return to the old-fashioned courtships of conversation without any of the physical touch😄

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I believe that I have enough provisions to get my family through two to three weeks of quarantine if it comes to that. Our immune systems aren't compromised, so I'm not as concerned about the virus. I'm more concerned about how people are reacting. I believe this will be over as soon as the media loses interest in covering it. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I really feel for everyone currently in this thread. I've been in a committed relationship for several years, but we are presently socially distanced with our respective families. I imagine dating is nearly impossible at present, and that sucks.

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  • 2 weeks later...

A dating break is what I was wanting, but somehow being forced into it is somehow different. 😂 A little more isolating when I can't even go out and do things on my own. 

 

The men contacting me now just don't seem as sincere to me since we can't really go out, or do anything. Underwhelming.

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40 minutes ago, Virgo said:

Underwhelming

Yep. I'll go with that.  I am underwhelming myself daily.  There are 6 or 8 nice looking ladies that I would like to start serious conversations with.   The problem is when you get a good thing going with Email it can be a huge letdown if there is no chemistry when you finally meet.

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Love2fish, what if you email them for awhile and then ask if they would like to talk on the phone? It's not quite the same as meeting in person, but more personable than emailing. 

 

Side note, since you like fishing you should check out 9K Elite Lures on Facebook. Little plug for a small business owner who I know. 🙂

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