For those that just got out of a relationship.......

[StillWidowed]

and while we are happy others are finding love (but let's admit, sometimes it's just to hard to read the posts), I want this thread to be about those of us that have ended or had someone else end the relationship.  I want us to comfort each other and encourage each other.  We can go to our friends and family (or maybe some can't) but there's this extra layer of pain on top of a breakup, we have post widowhood, that others don't understand.  We've already had our hearts broken by loss, and damn, here we go again.  Is this just as painful?  More painful in another way?  Or not even close to the pain you experienced losing your spouse?  How are you holding up?  Are you angry?  Hurt?  Relieved?  All of the above?  Are you taking the time to heal?  What did you learn for the experience?  Are you more afraid than ever to put yourself out there again?  Do you feel like how much pain can one person possibly go thru or do you have the mindset of not risking the heart means not finding love? 

[Momtojandj]

Ok, I'll go .. The hurt is worse, different then losing a spouse. I broke up with boyfriend . I'm hurt, sad, felt used and taken advantage of . I won't put all the blame on him, I wanted the fairy tale.. It was clear that it wasn't going to happen. I'm not afraid.. Because I want to have a love again :-)

[Meema]

It's definitely painful, but so far not even close to the pain I felt when my husband died. I think it makes a difference that I chose to end this relationship instead of being the one that was dumped, and I wasn't getting my emotional or any other needs really met by this guy, so I'm feeling a tiny bit of hope and freedom at the moment. I'm sure the loneliness, boredom, frustration will kick in any minute now, but I think it was more painful being in that relationship than it is now being out of it.

[Guest mawidow]

My breakup was a while ago, but I remember the feelings vividly. It was like watching it all unfold in slow motion, and the writing had been written on the wall for a long time before I finally ended it. First he was hesitant to get involved with me because he thought I might not be ready. Then he needed to take a month-long break because he wasn't ready. Then he regularly told me that he could not feel love for me. How much can a girl take? It wasn't just the breakup that was painful. Hugs to you guys.

[Abitlost]

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[SimiRed]

All of the above, painful, angry, hurt, scared...how will I ever trust again? 

 

I'm not sure I'll ever be able to "put myself out there again"... of course, my story may be a tad bit different than most.  I agree with Abitlost, roller coaster of emotions, you said it so well.  As a widow, I don't need the chaos and dysfunction either...just not something I can't handle any longer.

 

It's a loss, but it's different.  I can't allow his stupidity to effect how I feel.  This time, it's his loss, not mine.  The best thing I ever did was run away from that mess..

 

Now, to figure out the rest.  I will and I will be happier!

[rememberingjason]

Thank you for this thread. I have just been dumped/let go but he still wants to be best friends after a year and a half relationship. I gave my trust and love away again and man does it hurt like hell right now. As others have said the writing was on the wall and we were not meant to be...but losing the companionship, friendship, and trust has left me afraid to try again.

 

It doesn't hurt nearly as much as losing Jason...he was truly my best friend and soul mate.

 

I do have hope that God will put the man in my life who won't hurt me and will not leave me. I guess that is all we have left...right.

 

Anyway thanks for providing a place to talk about this.