Is it too soon?

[MissingSquish]

I've already put an application in at a rescue organization for another Doberman. I know I am still very much in shock since Pru's sudden passing on Tuesday. But the house feels too empty without a furry being to keep me company.

 

There are so many things drawing me back to the Doberman breed. The loyalty, the Velcro dog attachment and their intelligence. A few people, including my family vet has cautioned me against getting another big dog.

 

There were times when I found it difficult to manage both myself and Pru's needs. She could never be dropped off at a friend's, my parent's or neighbor's house if I wanted to go away for a weekend, she always had to be boarded. I was the only person who could take her to the vet if she needed it.

 

Pretty much everyone around me was afraid or her, and I could rarely have people over my house.  If a repairman had to come over, I had to make sure that Pru was either at daycare, outside or in the car with the windows open.

 

Getting another Doberman would likely pose similar challenges, but I think getting another dog in general would be very much the same. My friends have babies and lives of their own, my neighbors have kids and lives of their own, and my parents don't want their busy schedule to be interrupted to help me.

 

I would like to get married again and have a family. I am not currently dating anyone. Even if I met Squish the 2nd, I wouldn't get married again until at least 2 years of dating.  2 years without a furry creature to share my space is a long time.

 

I honestly don't know if Pru would have been good around a baby, and with the open layout of my house, it would have been nearly impossible to keep dog and baby separated.  I don't want to move out of my house and street, as I have fantastic neighbors that truly look out for me.

 

I know a dog is a long term commitment, but I honestly have no clue where my life is going, aside from work.  I know a dog ties me down and makes it a bit more difficult to date.

 

Needing to go home at night to take care of Pru helped me to make smarter, more informed choices about my last relationship. It made me realize that our lifestyles were completely incompatible. In the past, before Pru, I would have bent over backwards to accommodate him even more.  I might have even married him, and would have likely been very lonely.

[Guaruj]

Hi MS -

 

Let me just say again that I'm sorry you lost your doggie. Everyone seems to be different when it comes to getting a new pet after losing a close one. I really didn't want a new pet after I put my 13-year old cat to sleep. Catherine, one other hand, wanted another cat 6 months after we lost her 12-year-old kitty. I think part of that was that we had just moved. She may have also had some intuition that her cancer was returning.

 

Dobermans can be wonderful dogs when they have the right people caring for them. I once lived in a row house in Pittsburgh.  We had a crazy neighbor who wanted a "tough dog", so he got a male dobe named Quincy and treated him awfully - kept him outside the house on a chain leash, starved him, never washed him and occasionally beat him. My roommates and I started feeding him dry dog food and leftover meat.

 

After that, Quincy loved us. He guarded our house the same way he did his own. I would sit outside with him and he would put his head in my lap. He left spots of doggie drool on my jeans. I was really torn when we had the SPCA take him away.

 

Can you give yourself a little time just to reflect on what a great dog Pru was before you get another pet?

 

|+|  M a r k  |+|

[Trying]

I totally understand the desire to get another dog right away, when you are used to that constant companionship and unconditional love the house can feel so empty! 

 

After I lost my black lab who we had for 13 years, I forced myself to wait before deciding what to do next.  I ended up waiting almost a year because I didn't want to puppy train in The dead of winter.  I ended up going with a labradoodle because after living a few months without the endless shedding I realized that I wanted a lab personality without the twice a day vacuuming.

 

I think a little time to get some clarity is a good idea.  Maybe you will decide to go with a breed that fits your lifestyle better or maybe you will decide the challenges of a Doberman are worth it.  It may just take some time to make a decision with your head and not only your heart.

 

And again, I am so sorry for your loss. 

[Jess]

That is a tough one. When my first dog I had as an adult died, I swore I couldn't go through the heartbreak again and would get no more dogs. Now, somehow my husband passed and I am left with 4(!!!) dogs.

 

Here is how the first of those four came to be in my house. Three days after my first dog passed, my mom called and said their was a lady at her school that had the same breed of dog but that she couldn't find a home for her and was going to have to take her to pound. That tugged at my heartstrings and I told LH. He said we needed to at least meet her. So, we set up a meet at a park seven days after putting my first dog down. The new dog bit my husband's hand and fear pooped on him. Obviously, he was instantly in love and she joined our family. It is funny that was how she acted because now she is the sweetest, most docile cuddler ever.

 

So, is it too soon? Maybe. But it unexpectedly worked out for me so I figured I would share my story.

[Needytoo]

I would contact a dob rescue place now because for sure you will be put on a waiting list for awhile or maybe ask if you can be a foster parent..  Either way this gives you time to really decide if you want another dog. I was a veterinary technologist for 23 years and one of my favorite breeds is a doberman.  I know they frighten some people but my whole career I never met one I didn't like.  But yes they can be over active anxious dog.  Just because people were afraid of Pru doesn't mean they will be afraid of the next dobby.  But even though I love the breed because of peoples attitudes I got a golden retriever.  A water dog best suits our lifestyle. 

 

My cat died this summer and I too have been thinking of adding another furbaby but just not sure if right now is a good time.  I am surprised I am thinking about it.  I think my heart is softening up a bit.  Best wishes to you.  Keep us posted on what you decide. 

[donswife]

could you volunteer at  shelter or foster for a little bit

that might help you pick put the next best fit

it so hard to come home to not have your dog greeting you

take care and again sorry about losing your dog

[MissingSquish]

Thank you guys so much for your advice and responses. I have been to 2 different shelters this past week just feeling things out and getting used to being around other dogs again.

 

There were no dogs that called out at me in either place, and I just mostly felt really sad. I don't think I'm a good candidate for fostering for a few reasons. Many foster parents usually have multiple dogs to teach the foster dog manners around other dogs. I don't have the time nor the expertise to ready a dog for a permanent home. And I don't know if I'd be able to give the dog back after fostering.

 

This weekend was really hard, as it's the first weekend that I've spent without her.  I'm cherishing every dog hair that I find of hers scattered throughout the house. I had a cleaning person come last Saturday morning while Pru and I were at the vet, so the usual piles of hair around the house are not around. 

 

Every dog I see out and about with their owners breaks my heart completely.  I just want my baby girl back, but I know that is not possible.  When I lost Squish, I had her to comfort me. I don't want to go through this major loss alone.

[donswife]

yes I get the fostering thing , I could never do that either

I spoil them to much and then wouldn't be able to let them go

I wish I could lend you my dog for couch cuddles and support

wish It could be easier

 

[Trying]

(((MS))) after reading your post I realize I've never gone through the loss of a dear pet alone.  My heart really breaks for you.  I've also never had a new puppy alone (even if it always felt like I did 90%, lol) and I think about you navigating that alone too.  Nothing constructive to add, just that I hear you and am thinking about you. 

[BrokenHeart2]

So sorry about your dog MS. When I lost DH my 5 yr old lab died 4 months later. I was devastated.  My heart strings tugged too. 3 months later I almost got a rescue. The day for pick up I backed out. Thankfully the lady I was dealing with was a widow and she was wonderful. I realized I just wasn't ready. Only you know. Best of luck with your decision either way. Hugs

 

[Carey]

I lost my cat a few weeks ago (one who had been given to me by a dear friend who died just weeks before Chad did), and before that our dog 6 months after Chad died.  We don't have dogs right now just because our neighbor is spiteful and many times trapped my dogs and took them to the pound.  I do have cats, but miss a dog as well. I would suggest maybe go to shelters occasionally and just wait for the right one to "speak to you" , so to say.  Kind of like people, sometimes you just know when you've met the right one.  Don't put time constraints on it.

[trying2breathe]

MS  I lost my beloved dog 3 weeks ago - heartbreaking loss for me as DH and I adopted our dear Lucy together 11 years ago.  My kids are begging for a new dog - I'm so tempted to find a lovable rescue and adopt now. From experience, I know that responsibility for a dog lands on me, and I can't commit the time to a new pet right now. 

 

I so miss a furry presence in my house - the walks, cuddles and companionship.  I can't wait for the day when we have a dog again.  For me, it's about thinking of when I can take on the responsibility again. 

 

Big ((hugs)) 

[Guest sunshinedaydreamz]

Only you can tell.

[MissingSquish]

Thanks everyone for the input. Putting an application in for a rescue today doesn't mean I'm likely to be placed with a dog tomorrow, next week or even next month.

 

The rescue applications take a bit of time to process (usually a few months) before they match me with a dog.  They have extensive checks with my homeowners insurance, references, vet and a home check before I even get to meet the dog at their out of state facility.

 

I will not get into a situation with a rescue that I am unable to handle (severe behavioral problems etc).

[BrokenHeart2]

MS, I was accepted within a week so just a heads up. Best of luck with whatever you decide.

[Guest sunshinedaydreamz]

Me tooo

3 days ; )

 

Behavioral problems ?

LQQK to the left ; ()

(Thinks he's a bat !)

[IfIonlycould]

MS I have been busy and not on the board....I am not going to opine on whether it is too soon or not...only you can really know...I am just sending out my ((((((HUGS)))) and thoughts as I just learned of your beloved Pru's passing....

[Baylee627]

Timing is only a question you can answer. My beloved dog, Gordita, died not quite two years ago. Before that, I'd always maintained I wouldn't be able to pursue getting another dog til after my grief had subsided.

 

I'd presumed I'd need an adjustment period, as her death would likely annihilate me emotionally. I questioned whether my beleaguered heart would be ready to love another.

 

But: I ended up getting my dog Anabelle right around the time of Gordita's' demise...And while she in no way replaced Gordita, her lively antics and dog sugars did prove a balm for me after Gordita passed away.

 

Just as with our spouses, there's just no way to accurately predict what will help or won't until after the (sad) fact.

 

Baylee

 

[MissingSquish]

Hi everyone. Some of you know that I adopted a senior rescue doberman last weekend. He has really brought joy back into my life. The house no longer feels empty, and I have a walking buddy back again. I still very much miss Pru, but am thankful to have this new dog in my life.

 

He was found in an abandoned building on my sadiversary this year and went to the rescue on Squish's birthday this year. His name is Scooby.

[donswife]

good for you and welcome to scooby

having a dog makes you go for a walk when you don't want to and greets you first thing

I think it was a great idea for you and lucky for scooby who no doubt will have a wonderful life now

[Jen]

He's beautiful!! Hugs and ear scritches!

[Guest Lost35]

I'm sorry about your dog...the house is SO QUIET, isn't it?  There is a distinct lack of life-force, even when they didn't make much noise.  Our big Guy, Myles, died a year ago on the 20th.  I've been thinking of him even more than usual these past weeks.  He was 150 lbs. of protective, loving, caring soul.  I miss him.  Even though I had another dog, she likes to spend her time in a quiet part of the house and I missed the presence of my big dog.  Three months after he died, I applied for and got permission to take home a puppy.  (I had gone to a distant SPCA to look at a beautiful Doberman, but he was far too prey-driven for my house, so we had to leave him there).  It has been good to have Fergus around the place and he is very much like Myles in personality.  He is a Great Pyrenees/ Leonberger/ Saint Bernard Mix.  He can't be left with anyone and it is impossible to take him camping or leave him for long.  He eats a lot and takes a lot of time to train.  Having just turned ten months, his hearing has stopped, so this is a difficult time in the house and I have to say there have been a few moments where I regretted my decision...

 

I do feel safe, and have something to do, walking him.  I meet a lot of people as he is beautiful and friendly and everyone stops to pet him. 

 

I've fostered in the past and think it's a good idea.  As long as you remember they are there for a greater good and you are helping them in the long-term, it is easy and rewarding.  It also removes a lot of the pressures of costs and commitment as well.

 

Good luck to you.  Look around until you are sure you have met your next best friend.  One will stand out from the rest and you will just know it's both the right time, and the right dog. 

 

Take care,

 

-L.

[MissinGrizz]

How about fulfilling that need by fostering dogs? Our local humane society has kind dog-lovers foster and help train dogs such as dobermans and pittbulls to help them get adopted by families. If you really need a fur baby of your own, I'd highly suggest getting one that won't increase home insurance, chances of someone not wanting to date you due to fear for their kids, chances of people not wanting to help watch the dog, etc. I know that dogs can be wonderful, even those with higher incident rates; however, why make it harder on yourself right now? Or, maybe you could adopt an older dog who only has a couple of years left to live .It's so hard for elderly dogs to find homes. That's a shorter term commitment for you in a much-needed role.

[MissingSquish]

Hey guys, I've updated the thread a few posts back. I got an older doberman gentleman who is a doll just 2 weeks ago. Super friendly, sweet and easy going. The house feels complete now.

[jeff1038]

So glad you found Scooby. Might get to meet him one day. Looking to move back to NY.